It felt like forever ago that former porn star-turned-disaster Jenna Jameson announced her fiancé Lior Bitton had knocked her up with her third child. Both Jenna and Lior announced the news on Instagram that she had given birth to an 8lb daughter yesterday that they named Batel Lu Bitton.
I am so proud to introduce everyone to my newborn daughter! Her name is Batel Lu Bitton. She was born at 8lbs exactly and 21 inches long. She is so calm and graceful it's hard to look at her not feel overwhelmed. I had a very long labor (12 hours) and pushed for an intense 22 minutes. We are head over heels in love with her 💫 welcome to the world little star, Mommy loves you ⭐️
This is 42-year-old Jenna’s first kid with 42-year-old Lior. She has 8-year-old twin boys named Jesse and Journey with Tito Ortiz. Tito has full custody of their boys.
Jenna’s fiancé is from Israel and is Jewish (Jenna converted), which would explain Baby Batel’s name.
Jenna Jameson and a new baby makes me feel a teensy bit nervous, because I keep having flashbacks to the first time Jenna tried to be a mom. But I’m going to stay positive. Well, let’s see. Oh, I’ve got something – a new baby means Jenna will be too busy wiping up baby dookie and milk barfs to go on four-hour long racist Twitter rants. Damn, this glass is a hard one to fill up half-way.
Jenna Jameson really needs to learn that if you want people to look at your baby bump, you really need to choose a less-distracting room to take your pregnancy selfie in. That picture is like an I Spy book page on steroids. I spy…an unmade bed…a glittery stripper heel perched on a tower of sunglasses….an arbitrary window…an electronic scale…a cow skull that looks as though it’s thinking “Jesus Jenna, would it kill you to tidy up first?”
Backdoor Farrah And Janice Dickinson Were Evicted From Celebrity Big Brother, But They’re Still Bringing The Messiness
While in the Celebrity Big Brother UK house, Backdoor Farrah threatened to commit mass murder over a broken flip-flop and she fought every chance she got. Well, Farrah was evicted from the house last week and she’s still bringing her signature brand of crazy bitch drama to show. Both Jenna Jameson and Janice Dickinson were evicted last night and they joined Backdoor Farrah on the Celebrity Big Brother after-show Bit On The Side. The show ended with Backdoor Farrah getting kicked out the backdoor after shit got violent. That all sounds about right.
Tila Tequila Has Already Been Kicked Out Of The Celebrity Big Brother House For Being A Hitler Sympathizer Once
I just love it when a picture gives you several options for you to label as “My Thoughts Exactly.” Do you go with the thumbs down on the left or do you go with the bored lady on the right who’s thinking to herself, “This
For the next few weeks, every event in Hollywood will be severely lacking in A-list stars, because many of them are over in England doing Celebrity Big Brother. CBB is doing a UK vs. US theme this season and the American cast includes: Tila Tequila, Backdoor Farrah, Jenna Jameson, Daniel Baldwin, Austin Armacost (from The A-List: New York), Fatman Scoop and Janice Dickinson. I know, it’s amazing that the walls of the CBB house didn’t immediately topple over from the massive force of all of that star power. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time, but the walls are feeling a little less pressure today, because Tila Tequila has been kicked out.
Watching a swirling vortex of drunkass sloppiness can be entertaining. We all have that friend or relative who goes from zero to “watch this, fuckers!” in no time and the result can be anything from an ambitious pick up of the opposite sex that was doomed to fail from the start, to a drunk construction project whose story will go down in history as “…and that’s how the deck that slopes to the left was built”. Only the blackest of hearts wouldn’t cheer for the flip-flopular success (thanks for quitting my ass, spell check) of this guy, the patron saint of the wasted at Coachella.
There comes a time when drunk stops being funny and starts to be sad, and Jenna Jameson has been setting up camp in that territory for years. Most recently, her handlers gave her a flea dip, slapped her on the ass and sent her out on the talk show circuit to promote her erotic novel Sugar where she all but dozed off during an interview. Drunk comfy is the best kind of comfy when you’re at home and nothing sounds better than taking your pants off and building a pillow fort out of couch cushions, not for when you need to pull it together for a payday after your house goes into foreclosure and you’re close to hopping back on professional dick to make some money.
Radar has a leaked video of Jenna taking the alcoholic sads to a new level. The surveillance from cameras in the house she shared with Baby Huey shows her reaching behind the nightstand in her bedroom for a bottle of wine and drinking it through various time stamps, sometimes while her twins are in the room on the computer. Jenna also moves through the house on different dates with a ladder like Bob the Builder, if Bob was an inebriated lizard used in lab trials of facial fillers, smashing the cameras with a hammer.
I do have to give her credit for being surprisingly steady on that ladder. That is some pro-level intoxication to not be holding onto something for dear life and using both hands to lay down some Hulk shit on those cameras. If it wasn’t so damn depressing, I’d be jealous- two drinks and I’m convinced the world is flat.
I hope you’ve all got strong gag reflexes, because I’m about to bring on a Costco-sized case of the dry heaves. Actually, you know what? Go grab a towel and throw it over your keyboards just in case. It’s always better to be safe than sorry. Trust me, I’ve learned the hard way; watching clips of Farrah Abraham’s ‘slow dinosaur reaching orgasm’ face cost me an $800 laptop.
Okay, here we go. TMZ is reporting that a storage locker filled with Jenna Jameson’s old porn gear is being cleared out by Jenna’s ex-husband Jay Grdina. The boxes in storage contain items from Jenna’s films (dildos, gimp masks, g-strings, shoes, tacky pleather clothes) and will be put up for auction sometime in the near future. There’s been no word on whether or not Jenna Jameson will see a portion of the auction’s profits, but I’m sure she’d like to. Only 5 years ago she swore she’d never do porn again; then her house fell into foreclosure and the mother of two recently admitted that she’d be willing to get back into porn to make money.
If Jay Grdina really wanted to make serious money, he should have called up A&E’s Storage Wars. I, for one, would be excited to see them open up a storage locker filled with used sex toys; if I have to watch one more episode where they open a storage unit and find boring boxes of baby clothes and cheap-looking end tables, I will lose my goddamned mind. Jenna Jameson’s Storage Wars episode would start with a bidding war over what someone thinks is an 18th Century filigree vase hidden behind a pair of stripper heels. After buying the locker for $9,000, the winner (probably Brandi and Jarrod, because they always get the shittiest lockers) would then go in and face the sobering realization that the vase they thought they were looking at was in fact just a greasy pile of sunbleached dildos. They’d go through two bottles of Purell hand sanitizer as they empty the unit of vinyl dresses and crotchless panties, forming a disgusting sadness pile in the back of their truck. Eventually, they’d fall ill due to weird-looking rashes and light-headedness from the smell. It’s high time we hear the words “Oh god…this vibrator smells like cheeseburgers” on television.
(Pic via Splash)