When Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan announced the end of their almost 9-year marriage, they said they wanted to “share the truth” about why they were calling it quits so that no one heard any “alternative facts.” If you believe blind items and internet rumors, then you might have guessed that was their way of getting ahead of people whispering that Channing had been picking up women who weren’t his wife. Whatever you may have heard about Channing’s extracurricular activities, Jenna kindly asks that you please not believe any of it.
“Happy to clarify that absolutely none of these rumors are true. The reason our statement was so positive [was] because that’s the reality of the situation.”
And according to a source, there’s no hate and their relationship wasn’t killed by side pieces, just a lack of romance.
“They honestly do still love each other and that’s not just for show. That love turned more into a friendship rather than the passion they felt when they first met and fell in love.”
The source adds they definitely won’t be getting back together, but that they will continue to be the best parents to their 4-year-old daughter Everly. The source says that “the fact that they get along is everything.” So there’s no drama, none, zero! They just grew apart, and that’s that. But if you still aren’t convinced, then please join me in picturing a pissed-off Jenna whipping handfuls of Channing’s stripper bow ties at her husband after he returned home at 3am reeking of various Victoria’s Secret body sprays. It’s probably not true, but it’s a fun visual.
All us basic betches had a reason to grab the Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough late last night when Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan announced they split up. First Kermit and Miss Piggy, then Chris Pratt and Anna Faris and now this?! Who is next?? Chicken nuggets and waffle fries?? Channing and Jenna kept it sweet in their break-up note, and it may have something to do with them being done months ago. Continue reading
Stocks in Ginuwine Inc. just went through the roof. Channing Tatum is available for private parties in the champagne room for the first time in almost 12 years because, he and Jenna Dewan Tatum have officially separated. His pony, is waiting, come on, jump on it. They were married for almost 9 years, which is 19 years in real world time, so this is pretty big news. Channing and Jenna, who met on the set of 2006’s Step Up, announced the split via Instagram just to make sure no “alternative facts” (smiley face) start floating around.
The American Music Awards aired on CBS last night in order for you to have something to talk about with your weird cousin Trisha over Thanksgiving weekend. The AMA’s are the perfect empty vessel in which to hold your familial conversational obligations. That said, a few attendees did come to slay. Like Hailee Steinfeld, who, thanks to that leather bra and sharp shoulder pad situation, is seen giving you The Bodyguard starring a young Joan Crawford.
Glamour’s annual Women of the Year award happened last night in Hollywood and the dress code must’ve been: MESS! Because most of them were.
Gwen Stefani (in the gallery) looked like an off-brand quinceañera Barbie and Zendaya (also in the gallery) wore some floral glove things that made it look like she just double fisted a flower fairy. And then there was Amber Heard whose dress looks like it was made out of the dusty curtains, crib skirt and pillow trim from an old-timey rich baby girl’s nursery. That dress is what Miss Havisham would wear if she was finally evicted from Satis House and had to make coins by selling ass at a brothel.
Amber hasn’t worked many red carpets ever since she settled her divorce from the angry scarf rack, so maybe she purposefully wore something busted. That way reporters wouldn’t ask her about Johnny Depp, because they’d be too busy wondering who and what the hell she’s wearing. Well played!
And here’s a zillion more pictures from last night including Lena Dunham who worked baby bangs and a constipated face.
“And that where Channing put skin stick. In the lady cave. Channing do good sex.“…is what I like to think sexy caveman stripper doofus Channing Tatum is explaining in the picture above. Oh, who am I kidding? If he’s saying anything, it’s probably: “I TOTALLY HIT THAT BEEEEEOTCH! HAHAHAHAHA.”
If you have ever wondered what sex is like between Channing Tatum and his wife Jenna Dewan Tatum, you’re in luck. Channing got all Taxicab Confessions during a Facebook Live interview with Cosmopolitan (via UsWeekly) about their sex life, and it’s capital S-E-X-Y. Channing says that sometimes they do it fast. Sometimes they do it slow. And sometimes he just lays there and lets her do all the work. Ooooh, someone open a window; it just got very hot in here.
“I just lay there. I just lay down, sometimes I nap. Yeah, she’s really athletic. We get down! We truly have all different kinds of sex. Sometimes it’s like, ‘Look, you gotta get this done. I gotta go to work.’ And that’s a real thing. To me, that’s us being completely open…Then you have full-on, just completely totally connected otherworldly connections. We communicate very well. We don’t hate fuck each other. That’s not what we do.”
Hold up. Who said anything about hate fucking??? That interview took a really sharp turn. That doesn’t exactly seem like Cosmo sex tip material. Then again, I haven’t read Cosmo in a couple of years. But I think I would have remembered passing a cover boasting “23 NEW Ways to Hate Fuck Your Man” in the grocery store.
So there you go. Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan Tatum have normal people sex. That’s fine. But what I really want to know more about are those “otherworldly connections.” Like, are we talking ‘fucking so good you go forward in time and get a thumbs-up from your own ghost’ kind of otherworldly? Or is it more like a ‘humping yourselves into an alternate universe that you can only return from via a three-way with Dr. Sam Beckett‘ kind of thing. I need to know these things, Channing! Have you had Quantum Leap sex or not?