Category: Jeff Goldblum

Open Post: Hosted By Jeff Goldblum Looking Like Raw Sex At His Walk Of Fame Ceremony

June 15, 2018 / Posted by:

65-year-old Jeff Goldblum finally got his own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame yesterday. Although it probably would have been more appropriate to temporarily re-name it the Hollywood Shuffle of Fame. Catching a glimpse of Jeff Goldblum working his star like a thirsty Playgirl centerfold probably had a whole lot of people weak in the knees and struggling to remain upright.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom starring Jeff comes out in a week, so this is just to promote it, but I don’t care. Seeing Jeff Goldblum lounge all over is terrazzo star is something we as a society have earned – nay, deserve. The only problem is, a Walk of Fame star is usually in commemoration of a notable career. And what’s a more notable part of Jeff Goldblum’s career than that picture of him emerging from the teleporter from The Fly with zero clothes on?

Jeff was joined by his wife Emilie Livingston and their two sons, as well as several of his famous friends like Ed Begley Jr. and Laura Dern. I hope the Hollywood Walk of Fame people hire security after this. We saw what recently happened to Michael Jackson’s star, and I can only imagine what will appear on Jeff Goldblum’s. $10 says there’s a pair of panties by next Monday.



Jeff Golblum Has Signed On With Decca To Record A Jazz Album

May 30, 2018 / Posted by:

When he’s not acerbically dressing down hubristic scientists or shuffling around poolside at a historic Palm Springs mid-century modern wearing loafers with no socks, Jeff Goldblum enjoys spending time tickling the ivories at various nightclubs around L.A. and New York.  And he’s being rewarded handsomely for it! According to Variety, Jeff’s just been offered a deal at Decca Records Label Group to record a jazz album.

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The Trailer For “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” Is Here

December 8, 2017 / Posted by:

We all know the basic Jurassic Park formula by now: Take one part remote island, one part ego driven scientist, one part scary monsters, one part greedy corporate entity, one part dashing hero, one part imperiled children, one part screaming lady and one part Jeff Goldblum. Add a dash of sweeping music and you’ve got yourself a blockbuster! But really, there are only so many times this formula is going to work. Sooner or later you have gotta change it up. We’re now on the 5th iteration with Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom whose tag line is “Life, Uh, Finds a Way”, let’s see if they’ve monkeyed with the formula.

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For Why Did They Cut Off Thor’s Luscious Mane?!

March 8, 2017 / Posted by:

Entertainment Weekly released a ton of pictures from Marvel’s newest cinematic nerd Viagra, Thor: Ragamuffinorsomething, and they should’ve put a giant warning on the cover. Because it looks like Thor went down to the nearest Supercuts and got the haircut that every straight guy named Brian or John gets before a job interview. That golden luscious mane is Thor and Thor is that golden luscious mane. Without it he looks like some regular guy wearing a Thor costume from Halloween Town to Comic-Con. Okay, a regular guy with muscles the size of pantyhose stuffed with cantaloupes, but still a regular guy.

I’m no nerd and Thor’s hair is still emotionally upsetting to me. It’s like when Felicity cut her hair. The stocks for brushes and leave-in conditioners plummeted! The only way I’ll be okay with Thor’s basic ass haircut is if we find out that shifty Loki could no longer fight the jealousy he felt over Thor’s gorgeous locks, and one night he cut that mane as Thor slept and made a wig out of it. And Loki better wear that wig throughout the whole damn movie.

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Thankfully A Bit More Effort Was Put Into The Fashions After The Oscars

February 27, 2017 / Posted by:

We all know that when it comes to dressing for the Oscars, everyone takes it very seriously. They put on a tux or fancy gown that definitely didn’t come with a check attached to the garment bag. Most of the time the result is a one-way ticket to Zzzzzz town (see: a good 75% of the looks from last night). But then everyone gets to let loose at Vanity Fair’s annual Oscar afterparty and put on what they really want to wear (see: The Gold Standard). Like many people at the Vanity Fair party, Diane Kruger wasn’t at the Oscars and she showed up wearing that. 

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