As you may be aware, America’s Royal couple, Beyoncé and Jay-Z are currently out on tour promoting their new music. People would do crazy things to get into that concert; catch a Sugar Daddy, borrow money, attempt credit card fraud. Everyone is dying to go see Blue Ivy‘s mom (and I guess her dad too) perform, including one Zemarcuis Devon Scott, an 18-year-old kid who tried to steal a fucking plane in order to get to the concert. Would you commit a felony for Beyoncé tickets?
The Beyhive is overflowing with activity today because it’s finally here. The Vogue cover we’ve all heard so much about featuring the one and only Beyoncé who had complete creative control of her cover and chose Tyler Mitchell to capture her holiness. Tyler is the first black photographer to shoot the cover for US Vogue in the history of US Vogue. While the headpiece seems a bit reminiscent of the one Rihanna is wearing on her Vogue cover, Beyoncé thankfully kept her eyebrows fully fed.
The whole article reads like Beyoncé jerking herself off for being a cultured, relevant and talented goddess, but she does drop a few interesting pieces of information regarding her life and pregnancy. And you know the people love a pregnant Beyoncé story. Remember when her stomach folded? Classic. Continue reading
Last week during an appearance on Heidi and Spencer Pratt’s podcast, Amber Rose dropped a two year belated bombshell, claiming she thinks Gwyneth Paltrow is “Becky with the good hair” from Beyoncé’s Lemonade. I would have thought that every moment since Amber dropped Gwyneth’s name has been pure bliss, because just think of all that delicious attention it’s brought her! I clearly don’t know Amber Rose as well as I thought, because she recently admitted that she feels bad now.
It’s been over two years since the internet and the Beyhive opened up the case into figuring out the identity of the “Becky with the Good Hair” who took a ride on Jay-Z’s untrue dick while he was with Beyonce. The case has pretty much remained unsolved, but many think that Becky’s real name is Rachel Roy while others (read: Rita Ora and Rita Ora only) think it’s Rita Ora. Amber Rose picked up the cold case, dusted it off and after looking into it, she believes she really knows who Becky is. Detective Amber thinks that Jay-Z was knocking yoni eggs out of Goopy Paltrow’s steam tunnel of a cooze. The LAPD better put Detective Amber on an unpaid leave after I file a harassment claim against her for giving me the image of Goopy gooping all over Jay-Z’s dick. I’ve been attacked.
Does the Louvre really need the ticket sales that badly? Isn’t it the place tourists in France automatically flock to after visiting that tower thingy? Vulture tells us that, since setting their latest video “APESHIT” in the famed home of the Mona Lisa, the Louvre now has a tour inspired by the Carters bringing high art to the sullied masses. As if the Mona Lisa didn’t have enough to contend with what with tourists always complaining about how small she is in person.
In the video, Bey and Jay pose sullenly in front of various pieces of art while their dancers do each other’s hair, experience what looks like collective full body dry heaves, and undulate in front of the velvet ropes. It’s like art squared! And now YOU can experience the experiencing that the Carters experienced in what is probably the world’s most famous art museum.
The Parisian museum reportedly now has a 90-minute guided tour taking you through 17 pieces of art depicted in the recent Beyoncé and Jay-Z video, which dropped on June 16.
If you don’t have the money to drop on an overpriced pastel and tickets to Gay Paree, Vulture was cool enough to put together a guide identifying all of the paintings that the Most Important People In The World further enriched by posing in front of them.
This is going to enrage a lot of people who want to go on this tour. They’re going to expect the entire museum to clear out, and all of the Louvre staff to turn their backs and refrain from looking at and speaking to them. Please be forewarned that the privilege here is to be able to stand where they stood, you don’t get to be them. What are you – insane?
I never had the grave misfortune of walking in on my parents bumping uglies, but I did catch them in their bedroom playing a spirited game of leapfrog. OK, that wasn’t me. That was Betty White in an episode of Golden Girls.
During Jay-Z and Beyonce’s On The Run II show, a clip of them in bed together is show on a giant screen onstage. Their 6-year-old daughter Blue Ivy Carter was in the audience of their show in London last Friday, and while in front of everyone, lived the scar-making nightmare that many child faces when they walk in on their parents doing the gross act of humping on each other. Blue was more than happy to show concertgoers this week what she feels about Mom and Dad blaring their sexy time during a show:
Blue watching the interlude of her parents in bed LMAOOOO pic.twitter.com/lcHqubL67p
— tink. (@MissTink__) June 19, 2018
It look like she’d rather go see Aunt Michelle in a Canadian theater production of Grease than spend one more minute watching mom and dad try and create another drain on her planned trust fund payout. Hell, she looks like her mom just asked her to eat all her Brussels sprouts and agree to go without dessert for three months! If Blue gives that kind of reaction to artistic boning, nobody every use her mom’s footage from Austin Powers at a concert – poor thing may as well just leave the stadium and demand a refund!