Joker movies are breeding like rabbits these days, with THREE of those suckers in the pipeline. Meanwhile, I’m still waiting on the first Ambiguously Gay Duo movie to hit the screen, and, no, I’m not talking about a VHS tape of me and the other guy in my sixth grade class who also happened to show up to our piano recital dressed up as the Phantom of the Opera.
The news that Warner Bros. wants Leonardo DiCaprio to replace him as the Joker must have hit Jared Leto pretty hard. Because he took to the stage yesterday at a Berlin gig wearing an ensemble that is even more eclectic than usual for him. That is some visual ennui right there. Leave me alone, I’ve got my house turban on and I’m wrapped in the rug that I stole from the lobby of the Wilderness Lodge at Walt Disney World!
Is he your nana feeling chilly before she leaves for the beauty salon? Did his band, 30 Seconds To Mars, release a concept album about thrift store shopping? Who knows. But Jordan Catalano can still do no wrong in my mom’s eyes. Ever since Angela Chase remarked about how soft his hair was at the back of his head, my mom has thought he was the dreamiest. She’d accept the turban and whatever else he found at a dilapidated gift shop in Santa Fe.
It’s AMAZING what you can find on Google by merely typing in “bad Joker cosplay.” Hollywood is desperately trying to forget Jared Leto’s portrayal of the Joker as an annoying Manic Panic addict with a melanin deficiency in the execrable Suicide Squad. Warner Bros. is trying to make a Todd Phillips-directed origin story for the Joker, and Martin Scorsese is reportedly on board to executive-produce it (!!!) in hopes of a quality, classy production. Both Variety and The Hollywood Reporter are claiming that they want Victoria’s Secret model vetter and frequent Scorsese collaborator Leonardo DiCaprio in the lead. This flick was supposed to feature a “young” pre-Joker. Have they changed the synopsis to a forty-something dude who decides to bedevil Batman as a solution to his midlife crisis? Continue reading
There was so much fashion fuckery at the MTV VMAs last night, I barely know where to begin! If the Teen Choice Awards are the Middle School dance of awards shows, then the VMA’s are the Junior Prom at an alternative performing arts magnet school. Since it’s high school, I’ll be announcing the winners and losers in several categories. The first category is Most Obvious Genitalia, and that award goes to none other than Nicki Minaj.
Did somebody say “MORE MOVIES ABOUT THE JOKER AND HARLEY QUINN“? No really, I want to have a word with whoever was putting that kind of energy out into the universe, because we’re starting to have too many damn movies about the Joker and his wacky codependent girlfriend. The superhero genre is all full-up, and so far I count zero movies about Squirrel Girl in production. (I’m in it for the nut puns!).
Despite the fact that Suicide Squad came, saw, and
conquered stunk up movie theaters nine months ago, we’re still hearing tales of Jared Leto’s method acting as The Joker. This time it’s from his Suicide Squad co-star Ike Barinholtz. We already know Jared (acting as The Joker) gave his co-stars live rats, dead pigs, bullets, and used dick sleeves. Jared gave Ike a gift that couldn’t be bought at Method Acting Asshole Depot: a kiss on the mouth.