Nobody’s favorite band, 30 Seconds to Mars, has new merchandise so now you too can look like a middle aged hipster with a penchant for silk and a Jesus complex! Jared Leto seems to be taking his cues from Kanye West and believes he too, has a deeper understanding of the universe and how it has shaped the American psyche and that existence on a higher level of consciousness can only be translated through the mediums of social media and ugly, overpriced “fashion”. Now, if your common Target brand little brain is ready for some real art, please proceed.
Jared Leto’s doing what any other pop tart of his ilk would be doing to increase ticket sales for his concert tour. He’s showing some skin and working that body-ody-ody to get those thirsty eyes upon him. He’s done it before, remember when he was kicking off his cross country road trip in support his Thirty Seconds To Mars album America and was posting beefcake pictures of his younger self and promising that if the album went #1 he’d cut his beard off? Well, now he’s got the US and European Monolith tour to promote, so he’s taking his clothes off, gyrating, and asking people to practice their moves so he can pull them up on stage to dance with him.
Jared Leto has filmed one DC superhero universe movie (Suicide Squad) and has a stand-alone Joker film for DC on the way. But it would appear Jared’s loyalty is to his checking account, because he’s getting in bed with Marvel. The Hollywood Reporter reports that Jared has been cast in Morbius. I wish I could say it’s about Moby’s superhero alter-ego who fights crime with techno music, but far from it.
Morbius the Living Vampire made his first appearance in Marvel comics’ The Amazing Spider-Man in 1971. Jared will play Dr. Michael Morbius/Morbius the Living Vampire, which is entirely appropriate considering Jared Leto was born in 1971 and doesn’t appear to have aged much since. And much like the lore of a vampire, Jared has also been rumored to creep on young women in the dark.
Morbius will be directed by Daniel Espinosa. THR doesn’t have any more information on Morbius, but considering the character exists in Spider-Man’s universe, there’s a chance Spider-Man could be involved. Also, Morbius has an ongoing feud with vampire hunter Blade. So who knows? Maybe Wesley Snipes will get the call of a lifetime and finally be able to pay back some of the millions in taxes he owes.
The difference between DC and Marvel to me has always been that DC is dark, brooding, and mysterious, whereas Marvel is more colorful, jokey, and fun. But I have a feeling Jared will tailor his on-set method thespian antics accordingly. Instead of visiting with psychopaths and sending live rats to his co-stars, he’ll rent the Twilight series and giggle while saying he farted on a plate of craft service Twinkies.
The Joker is the role Jared Leto was born to play. I mean, The Joker is basically just a trolling prankster with an enormous ego who’s kind of hard to look at, right? Jared’s got that in spades! Maybe that’s why he’s excited about getting his very own Warner Bros. Joker movie. According to Variety, Jared is going to star in and executive produce a standalone movie based on his version of The Joker from Suicide Squad.
A few years ago, Jared Leto joked in an interview with Rolling Stone that there was a very good chance he’s got a random hook-up baby out there somewhere. As it turns out, the metric for Jared’s hook-ups might not be that random. According to Dylan Sprouse, Jared’s got a pretty narrow age group be targets, and it skews pretty young.
There weren’t a lot of thruples on the red carpet at the Met Gala last night. But that’s ok, you only need one when that one thrupple is as extra as Jared Leto, Lana Del Rey and Alessandro Michele, the creative director at Gucci. I feel like there’s a long hair in my mouth, Yuck. I actually feel like I have hairs all over me now. Shit!