In the immortal words of RuPaul, “two queens stand before me”.
Yesterday at Paris Fashion Week, Helen Mirren and Jane Fonda both proved that once a bad bitch, always a bad bitch by absolutely slaying it on the runway for L’Oreal Paris. Thankfully neither of these legends had to lip sync for their lives but they surely gave the assembled crowd life with their ferocity and grace.
Jane Fonda’s press tour for her new movie co-starring Robert Redford didn’t end when Jane gave us the Crinkled Brow That Launched a Thousand Ships on Megyn Kelly Today. Jane and Bob kept it moving and a few hours later they appeared on Entertainment Tonight Canada where Jane explained what was going through her mind when Megyn asked about her mug.
Well, at least when NBC finally gets their biggest tax write-off of the year (aka when they finally dump Megyn Kelly Today), we’ll have a glorious supercut of all of her guests making the face they made when they realized that they need to fire their publicist immediately for putting them on that awkward dumpster puddle of a show.
Sure, dried drop of urethral pus Donald Trump mouth shat up another batshit crazy dingle today when he called for Russia to hack Hillary Clinton, but here at Dlisted, we only post about the most important political news, so here’s the video of a bunch of famous and famous-esque people singing Rachel Platten’s little-known, unheard pop single “Fight Song.”
Jabba the Trump had the USA Freedom Kids (whose manager is threatening to throw a lawsuit at the Trump campaign for violating an agreement) and Hillary Clinton has a bunch of celebrities singing “Fight Song” on the old set of The Branchy Bunch’s intro. The Los Angeles Times says that Elizabeth Banks put together as many pro-Hillary celebs as she could to sing in a video for the DNC. The likes of Aisha Tyler, Mandy Moore, Rob Reiner, Connie Britton, Kathy Najimy, Julie Bowen, Hana Mae Lee, America Ferrera, John Michael Higgins, Kristen Chenoweth, Idina Menzel, Billy Porter, Sia, Dollar Tree Victorian cameo Jaime King (who really, really took it seriously) and a bunch of others warbled out a cover of “Fight Song” that made my face contort into the cringe position. I cringed, cringed and cringed some more.
For the first minute, I thought to myself, “You all are NOT helping!”, but that all changed when the music stopped and Jane Fonda talk-sang for her life!
Leave it to Jane Fonda to save it all. But if you watched that video above, you know that Jane wasn’t the only one who really delivered. About 90 seconds in, Ellen Greene (aka Audrey from Little Shop of Horrors) popped up in impeccable Louise Brooks cosplay and delivered a stirring, raw and melodramatic re-telling of “Fight Song.” That is how it’s done.
God, I love theater people.
When you have to pass through the kitchen of a restaurant to leave through the backdoor because you want to outwit the paparazzi, and dough that the pizza chef was twirling in the air lands on your head, do what Jane Fonda did outside of Dan Tana’s in West Hollywood last night. Go with it and work that pizza dough beret like a world-renowned designer (think Christina Applegate in Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead) created it just for you. Who cares if your pooch throws a look at the camera like, “Can you believe I have to be seen with her while she’s wearing that shit on her head?”
It’s not delivery. It’s not DiGiorno. It’s fashion, bitch!
Saint Laurent’s show at The Hollywood Palladium in L.A. was last night and I guess the invitation read: Come dressed as a strung-out performer in Florida’s Meth Circus. I’m also guessing that Justin Bieber and Lady CaCa were the only ones who followed that dress code because DAMN. Gaga looks like a drunk, clingy auntie who is trying to relive her glory days by wearing one of her favorite outfits from the 80s and Justin Bieber looks like her messy teen nephew who is impatiently waiting for her to pass out into a drunken coma so he can go into her purse and steal enough money to buy a baggy of the bad shit.
If you’ve ever wondered what it would look like if Nancy Spungen played Susan in Desperately Seeking Susan, wonder no more. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Hmmm, I wonder what it would look like if Harpo Marx played Riff Raff, Columbia AND Magenta in a community theater production of Rocky Horror Picture Show?“, you don’t have to ask yourself that question anymore. Lady Gaga answered both of those questions at the Saint Laurent show last night when she showed up in a sequined blazer that screamed, “affordable Michael Jackson impersonator,” makeup that screamed, “cracked out Casper the Friendly Ghost,” and a wig that looked like a pile of uncooked curly fries.
Gaga, Justin Bieber and his struggle stache managed to achieve the impossible, though. They managed to be the messiest messes at an event that Courtney Love was at. Because when Courtney Love showed up looking clean and hot, I doubt the door person said to her, “Um, no loitering! No loitering,” like they did with the Biebs and Gaga.
So Gaga and Justin Bieber should give themselves a slow clap for that.
And here’s a million more pictures from last night’s show including some of the hotness personified that is the Kravitz family and American-Canadian fresh drew drop Pamela Anderson with her son Brandon Lee who used an entire jar of hair grease to give you “Young Elvis.”