Category: Jamie Lee Curtis

Plot Twist: The Fiji Water Girl Is Suing Fiji Water

February 1, 2019 / Posted by:

Didn’t see this coming. The Blast is reporting that Fiji got all the promo it needed at the Golden Globes this year when it got a girl in a blue dress holding some water to somehow upstage every famous and famous-ish person on the red carpet. But it looks like all that promo might cost them, as the ominous-looking Fiji Water Girl herself, Kelleth Cuthbert, is suing the hand that fed her for not feeding her enough.

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The Fiji Water Girl Is On Jamie Lee Curtis’ Shit List

January 9, 2019 / Posted by:

Kelleth Cuthbert, aka The Fiji Water Girl, may have won the heart of millions and clawed her way into the hallowed halls of Hot Slutdom, but there was one white hot beam of glamour she couldn’t eclipse. Kelleth can go right ahead and scratch “share a THC laced yogurt with Jamie Lee Curtis” off her vision board for good because it’s never gonna happen (it’s still on mine, though). Attention seekers take note: JLC is not the one. And she’s not about to let some corporate shill use her image to sell a gotdamn thing. JLC has been in the business since before she was born, and she knows the game backwards and forwards. But sometimes, even the greats get got. She thought she had successfully avoided getting photographed with the FWG.  Apparently, CNN caught JLC slipping. Her evasive moves to avoid being seen with you know who?, were not 100% successful.

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Brigitte Nielsen’s White Hot Glamour Singed The Red Carpet, And Other Looks From The Golden Globes

January 7, 2019 / Posted by:

Cleaning crews at The Beverly Hilton are probably still vacuuming up the shards of glitter that flew off of Billy Porter when he twirled in that amazing technicolor dreamcape, and are mopping up the Fiji water that people spewed out after realizing they were in the presence of the one and only Fiji Water Girl, and are disinfecting the floor after hundreds of people shit themselves as Baroness Jamie Lee Haden-Guest (seriously, she’s a baroness) sashayed onto the red carpet and they thought, “Damn, Brigitte Nielsen is looking hot after birthing out a baby!” People probably shit out everything in their system and are going to need some probiotics to get their guts good again. I see what you did there Queen of Activia!

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Jamie Lee Curtis Says She Was Addicted To Opioids For Ten Years

October 24, 2018 / Posted by:

You could say the 80s were a huge decade for Jamie Lee Curtis, but I always believed the 90s had some definite Jamie Lee high points: My Girl, that awkward/sexy stripping scene from True Lies, showing up to the 1996 MTV Movie Awards in see-through bodycon snakeskin. Sadly, it turns out the 90s were kind of a low decade in her life, all due to a chronic opioid addiction.

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Jamie Lee Curtis Is Returning For The Supposedly Final “Halloween” Movie

September 16, 2017 / Posted by:

I’m not sure this is possible. The last time we saw Laurie Strode, (SPOILER ALERT) she had been brutally stabbed by her brother Michael Myers and then fell into a bush (?!?) to her death. Variety reports that the original scream queen Jamie Lee Curtis will return for the eighth and reportedly final installment of the Halloween film series. I’m not counting the two Rob Zombie-made flicks because those were unnecessary and everything looked like it had been filmed through a thin layer of grime and trailer park septic tank sweat. Continue reading

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