I’m sad to report that it seems like there really are no more original ideas in Hollywood. Instead of telling you about a fresh new movie about some kind of fascinating story you’ve never heard of and are intrigued to learn the ending to (HA, like that’ll happen), I’m here to let you know that you can watch another goddamn Cinderella movie soon. And this one is starring Fifth Harmony‘s version of Ginger Spice–Camila Cabello.
Remember that time not too long ago when Priyanka Chopra-Jonas and Nick Jonas went on an international tour and called that shit a wedding? Well, Nick has admitted that Priyanka was doing too much and he wasn’t into any of it, especially once all of those wedding-related purchases began chipping away at his bank account like wage garnishment on pay day.
Jennifer Aniston has been lucky enough to be in the presence of Dolly Parton a lot lately as they promote their Netflix movie Dumplin’. Dolly even went as to say that Jen is her husband Carl Dean‘s first choice for a threesome. Jen must be riding an awfully high horse after receiving that biggest compliment of her entire life, so she was slightly delusional when she said that a Friends revival could turn into a Golden Girls reboot.
Anyone who has been hungover on a Sunday the last few months and spent the day drooling on the couch watching whatever Netflix tells you will recognize Noah Centineo. The guy who seems and sounds like a mid-puberty Mark Ruffalo was the breakaway star of Netflix’s To All The Boys I’ve Ever Loved Before, and he even appeared in Camila Cabello’s “Havana” music video. People magazine noticed and have him in their “Sexiest Man Alive” issue. Noah was on James Corden’s Late Late Show with Busy Philipps the other night, and he said he’s single. Busy chimed in that it’s partly because he ghosted one of her friends, and – not only did it get awkward – Noah’s team is now being accused of trying to bury the evidence!
If you read that headline and came (I can stop right there, I know) into the post thinking that you were going to get footage of Jon Hamm making out with the Hammaconda, then curse out that oversized Keebler Elf James Corden for setting this gag up. A gag that sadly doesn’t involve Jon Hamm gagging on some Hammaconda head.
“Memoryyyyy…I still get chills when I think…of how awkward it was when….a man in a spandex cat suit slunk up to me in the audience of Caaaaaats.” Can you tell I’m still traumatized by the time fate dealt me the hand of hell by having me sit in an aisle seat for my first viewing of Cats? I am not an audience participation type, and so yeah – an aisle seat for Cats wasn’t a great experience. But I’m still a fan of Cats. So even though I cringed a little at “Taylor Swift,” I’m still into this news. Mostly because a film adaptation means there’s zero chance she’ll leap off the screen and do weird cat pantomimes around me while I try to hide behind my popcorn bag.