True story: It was rainy and overcast in London today and just when everyone was about to sing (in their best Alanis Morissette voice), “It’s like raaaaaaaain on your wedding day,” to Meghan Markle, the clouds cleared, the sky turned blue and then sun came out when Oprah appeared!
Oprah was one of the first to show up at St. George’s Chapel for the royal wedding today, which made many brains poot out a “Que?” There’s a rumor that Oprah interviewed Meghan’s mother Doria Ragland, so some think that’s why she was invited to the wedding. But excuse you, while us regular humans may need an invitation to attend something like the royal wedding, Oprah doesn’t. Oprah just shows up and sits wherever she wants. I’d like to see one of those tricks ask Oprah if they can see her invitation. Their skin would end up embedded into the concrete after a lightning bolt from the heavens flattened them.
Oprah pretty much led the non-stop parade of stars that made it through that church today. There were so many celebrities that I thought diabolical red carpet gnome Ryan Seacrest was going to pop up with a mic to asks guests who they’re wearing, I mean, ask them awkwardly worded questions about #MeToo. Warning: Lots of celebrities went to today’s wedding so there’s lot of pictures to scroll through. So stretch your finger, put a workout belt on it, and keep a bottle of water handy for when it gets the heated sweats halfway through and needs to cool off.
But of course this could only be Lady Gaga. While others might think, “You know, maybe this year I’ll walk up the red carpet in a piece that makes it looks like I’m trying to cover up all the hair I lost after leaving my at-home highlighting kit on for too long,” Lady Gaga goes out and does it. She tells her stylist to make her look like a 73-year-old balding hippie who refuses to face the music about their hair situation, and she wears it with pride! As for her outfit, well that’s another story all together.
The vaginas are coming! The vaginas are coming! The trailer for the long awaited (ok, sustained indifferenced) Ocean’s 8 is here and it’s got more vaginas than a Amazonian gynecology conference! As expected, it stars Sandra Bullock as the titular Ocean (1) and includes Cate Blanchett as some kind of badass (2), Mindy Kaling as some kind of jeweler (3), Rihanna as some kind of hacker (4), Helena Bonham Carter as Helena Bonham Carter (5), Sarah Paulson as a suburban mom with a criminal past (6), Awkwafina as a street grifter (don’t ask me I have no idea who she is either, 7) and that’s only 7 so what the fuck? Yes, Anne Hathaway is in it but she appears to be the target so I’m confused.
There is nothing more terrifying than the thought of having Anna Wintour give a nasty-ass stare-down to me and my chosen costume of pleated J. Crew chinos from 1998 and a ratty T-shirt. But it’s funny when she does it to someone else, so it was great to see her go full nuclear Wintour on Donald Trump. Continue reading
Disgraced former White House gerbil Sean Spicer continued his post-firing image rehab tour on Sunday night by performing a bit about number-fudging at The Emmys. Rachel Bloom’s face kind of said it all for the people who were unimpressed with Sean Spicer’s attempt at being cute. After Sean Spicer performed his”Ain’t I a stinker?” routine he stuck around backstage and went to after-parties and took pictures with celebrities. James Corden was one such celebrity who really got a kick out of meeting and greeting Spicey. But now, James Corden is really sorry for acting like a fangirl on Emmy night.
This tiddly-wink was linked last week, but has been picking up steam, so let’s have a closer look. Salma Hayek invited her Instagram followers to play a fun game of “Harpo, Who Dis Woman?” Salma posted a video she took of some celebs getting their various boogies on during a Katy Perry performance at the Met Ball.