Category: Jake Gyllenhaal
John Mayer Responds To Getting Hate From Taylor Swift Fans
Way back in 2009 John Mayer (then 32) dated Taylor Swift (then 19). The next year Taylor released the song Dear John on her third album, Speak Now, which was “allegedly” about her brief stay at Casa del Slimy-Starfucker. Over the years passionate Swifties have come for John online, and it seems their hate was reignited after last week’s release of Red (Taylor’s Version). John’s been getting tons of rude DMs, and he responded to one teen Swifty who wrote, “fuck yourself you ugly bitch i hope you choke on something.” My knee-jerk reply would be something super-cool like, “Your dad’s dick is too small for me to choke on!” but John’s “curious mind” opted for a more mature discussion. Blah blah blah! Continue reading
Kirsten Dunst Says She Once Had A Controlling Boyfriend
Kirsten Dunst did an interview with the Independent to promote her latest film, The Power of the Dog, which co-stars her in-real-life husband, Jesse Plemons, and Benedict Cumberbatch. This is the movie Benedict went method for and gave himself nicotine poisoning three times. His character is an old-timey asshole who bullies Kirsten’s character, and in her interview, Kiki discussed her own insecurities and not standing up for herself when she was younger. She mentions that she once had a “controlling boyfriend.” Is she talking about Jake Gyllenhaal? Is this the week all his exes agreed to take him down? First Taylor Swift, now Kiki… who’s next? Reese Witherspoon? Minka Kelly? Frank the Rabbit from Donnie Darko?
Taylor Swift Released The 15-Minute-Long (!!!!) Music Video For The New Version Of “All Too Well”
Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal dated for around 2 seconds (read: 3 months) in 2010, and I figured it was just a throwaway PR relationship and a hit it (“it” being the pap stroll) and quit it situation. But it’s 11 years later and we’re hearing about it all over again because Tay Tay released her 10-minute version of her 2012 song All Too Well, which is about her thing with Jake. It’s part of the release of Red (Fuck You Scooter Braun Version). And last night, Tay Tay dropped the 15-minute-long All Too Well “short film” and it shows the swift rise and fall of Tay Tay and Jakey. Yes, 15 fucking minutes. The music video lasts longer than the damn relationship did. Just in case Taylor plans to re-record Reputation next, Johnny Weir should submit his picture and resume for the role of Not Tom Hiddleston in the 220-minute-long 4-part film series video for Getaway Car (Taylor’s Version).
Taylor Swift’s New 10 Minute Version Of “All Too Well” Has People Mad At Jake Gyllenhaal All Over Again
When I saw Jake Gynnhaal trending on Twitter last night I braced for the worst. And reader, I was not wrong to do so. Jake Gyllenhaal was dating Taylor Swift. Thank god it happened 10 years ago but still, what were you thinking? I had forgotten how mad the Swifties were at Jake when the song All Too Well debuted on Taylor’s 2012 album Red. But because the only villain in the Taylorverse more dastardly than Jake is Scooter Braun, Taylor’s rerecording all her old albums. And so, with the release of Red (Taylor’s Version) last night, the internet is crawling up Jake’s ass anew for allegedly popping Taylor’s cherry before ghosting her on her 21st birthday as suggested in the lyrics of All Too Well (10 Minute Version: This Time It’s Even More Personal).
Open Post: Hosted By Jake Gyllenhaal’s Old Crush On Jennifer Aniston, Which Made Their “Good Girl” Sex Scenes Torturous
Remember the movie The Good Girl from 2002? It was Jennifer Aniston’s pre-Cake stab at Oscar gold. She played a sad Southern woman who works at a big-box store and has a steamy affair with a younger cashier, played by Jake Gyllenhaal. Well, this week Jake went on Howard Stern’s Sirius XM show and admitted that filming love scenes with Jen was “torture” because he had a big ol’ crush on her. At the time Jen was married to Brad Pitt, so she probably wasn’t gonna fuck that shit up by having an affair with a younger co-star. Nope, that’s Brad’s thing!
Jake Gyllenhaal Swears That He Actually Does Bathe Regularly
Jake Gyllenhaal needs to clear the air. And previous to today, that might have you picturing Jake Gyllenhaal with a strong fan and the largest aerosol container of air freshener commercially available, facing the daunting task of clearing the air of any residual dirty hair fumes or armpit clouds that might still be lingering after he entered a room. Because last month while promoting Prada’s new fragrance, Jake revealed to Vanity Fair that he finds bathing “to be less necessary, at times” and that “we naturally clean ourselves.” It sounded like his bathing habits were much like that of a child belonging to the Bell-Shepard or Kunis-Kutcher families. But Jake has let everyone know that he is a person who bathes, contrary to what he implied previously.