When an initial photograph of Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt was released from that Sharon Tate movie Quentin Tarantino’s directing that nobody asked for, some of us got it confused and thought it was a still for a 70’s gay porn film and got excited. OK, maybe that was just me, but I digress. Well, I may not have been off the mark by too much, because Gus Van Sant is talking about how he was initially pitched to direct Brokeback Mountain and was trying to get Brad and Leo to be the ones to play hide the salami in the Wyoming wilderness. Continue reading
It doesn’t take too much for celebrity dating rumors to get revved up. Meryl Streep and Helen Mirren could be sitting on opposite sides of first class on a flight to New York, and you could bet some asshole would write about how they got it on in the lavatory. By got it on, I mean they took turns getting off to the other reciting lines from Bridges Of Madison County and Caligula, but I digress. Donnie Darko and Princess Margaret, also known as Jake Gyllenhaal and Vanessa Kirby, were seen having lunch together Friday in New York, so that naturally has some people thinking they’re definitely fucking.
Page Six says their snitch caught the two having a “cozy lunch” that included all the requirements to make a publicity couple:
“It was touchy-feely. She was touching his hair. They were sitting on the same side of the table.”
In Vanessa’s defense, she was rumored to be dating Tom Cruise. Maybe she was just trying to see what Jake’s rug was made of to pass the word along to John Travolta back at the Scientology bathhouse. Before we get too ahead of ourselves, other snitches claim this is much ado about nothing. Vanessa was on The View last week and when they asked about the Tom rumors, she said she’s been dating Callum Turner for over two years. Either she and Callum broke up on her way to lunch, or maybe something might be off with this story. Someone claims Vanessa is just a handsy person:
“Vanessa is a very tactile person. She is happily in a long-term relationship … it was just two friends catching up.”
See? It was just two friends catching up with hair-touching and most certainly not her second stop on a round of contract girlfriend interviews!
During a game of Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts on Wednesday night’s episode of The Late Late Show with James Corden, Drew Barrymore was faced with the lose-lose decision of ranking the talent of three past co-stars or eating turkey nuts. Drew is a vegetarian, so she avoided eating those balls by saying that Jake Gyllenhaal – her co-star in Donnie Darko – was the least talented out of a group that included Adam Sandler and Hugh Grant. But Drew isn’t a completely cold-hearted Gyllenhaater. Last night she extended an olive branch to Jake by showing up to the second season premiere of Netflix’s Santa Clarita Diet with a sign professing her love for him.
She also told Entertainment Tonight her answer was based solely on the fact that she didn’t want to scarf down those turkey balls.
“It was all fun and games and then every headline today was like, ‘Drew Barrymore says Jake Gyllenhaal’s the least talented actor she’s ever worked with.’ And I was like, no! Nobody reads the fine print, so I don’t even need to talk about it. All you need to know is this.”
But we haven’t heard from the talentless hack himself, Jake Gyllenhaal. He probably had one of two reactions: he doesn’t give a turkey’s left nut about any of this, or (and the most likely option) he’s extremely hurt, and has been trying to write Drew a letter about his feelings, but the ink keeps getting blurred by his tears. Really Drew, Jake deserves more than just a crummy half-assed sign. That sign was YARD SALE-quality at best. She better get working on a billboard, and please – give it some pizazz this time.
We all know by now that Ben Affleck’s once-shiny dreams of playing Batman have turned into a nightmare. Little by little by little, Ben’s unenthusiastic involvement with a standalone Batman film has shrunk to an awkward situation. Not even his brother can see Ben wrapping his bloated muscles in black rubber anymore. So it might be time to find a new Batman, and apparently the first name on the list of possible Affleck replacements is Jake Gyllenhaal.
An official decision regarding Ben’s future as Batman hasn’t been made, but according to Campea (via Screen Rant), The Batman director Matt Reeves wants it to be Jake. A source adds that Jake has taken a meeting with Matt Reeves not long ago.
This isn’t the first time Jake Gyllenhaal has been rumored to play Batman. More than a decade ago, Jake was reportedly considered by Christopher Nolan to play Batman in Batman Begins (the role of course went to Christian Bale). Jake was also rumored to replace Tobey Maguire in Spider-Man, which obviously never panned out. But it seems like he’s really interested in playing superheroes, so this might end up happening.
Screen Rant notes that if Jake does replace Ben, then this will possibly be another reboot of the franchise. That’s the only way they could explain that switch-up; because it sure as hell won’t look like it takes place in the same universe. I don’t know how they could possibly explain why Batman went from a grizzled 45-year-old dude who looks like he’s one soft chair away from a nap to a cute-faced 36-year-old whose favorite activity is cuddling and blushes if you compliment his hair.
The 11th Round Of “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets” Brought To You By Jennifer Lawrence’s Unenthusiastic Handjob
Jimmy Kimmel has been working tirelessly to educate people and politicians about healthcare lately on Jimmy Kimmel Live!. And last night, he gave a real example of the importance of good healthcare by showing celebrities receiving third degree burns from Twitter.
You can’t be a real Bostonian without being a bit of an a-hole. Hell, I’ve given three people in this coffee shop the finger just over the span of typing out two sentences. So it’s only natural Jake Gyllenhaal gets into character and acts like one on the press tour for Stronger, the film where he portrays real-life Boston Marathon bombing survivor Jeff Bauman. Jake and Jeff interviewed each other and it’s not so much an interview as it’s 2 minutes them sassing one another. Continue reading