All Eyez on Me, the biopic about Tupac Shakur, opens tonight and it’s gotten some not-great reviews so far. One review has been an unsolicited one courtesy of Jada Pinkett Smith. Jada, who was a friend of Tupac’s from way back, has denounced the makers of All Eyez on Me for taking creative liberties of her relationship with Tupac.
By looking at that picture, you may think that the Chanel show took place in another galaxy where the attendance was all rich aliens. It didn’t. It happened in Paris and was attended by rich humans. Although some aliens did manage to get an invitation, like intergalactic teenage nonsense philosopher Willow Smith and her mom Jada Pinkett Smith.
It’s not exactly a surprise that 15-year-old Willow is hanging out at a fashion show in Paris in the middle of a Tuesday, since the Smith children don’t do regular school. But it’s not like she’s doing it for fun; Willow was just named Chanel’s newest brand ambassador. Plus I’m pretty sure attending a haute couture fashion show is technically considered a field trip in the Smith family’s un-school curriculum. And since it would be irresponsible to send a 15-year-old on a field trip without an adult present, Jada joined her. Jada has apparently moved on from that whole Oscars boycott situation, so she has the time.
I’ve never been to a fancy-ass fashion show, but from what I’ve gathered, it’s proper to show up wearing shit made by the designer. I see that Jada got the memo – although those jeans do look a little Old Navy. But I have no idea what is happening on Willow. She looks like a Scientology superhero designed by John Travolta (“I call her The Incredible Audit“). But if Chanel HBIC Karl Lagerfeld is responsible for what Willow is wearing, and he probably is, then he should probably expect to receive a copyright infringement notice from the producers of Galaxy Quest.
Here’s more of Cool Mom Jada and Cool Teen Willow posing for their lives outside of the Chanel show earlier today.
Unless your only exposure to Chris Rock is the Madagascar movies or a television from the 90s that plays nothing but those Lil Penny commercials, then you pretty much expected Chris Rock to drag the Oscars for their lack of diversity this year. And he did! For all 10:28 minutes of his monologue, Chris Rock was like a one-man #OscarsSoWhite Twitter thread.
Chris yanked at the weaves of the Academy by making a joke about there being “at least 15 black people” in the opening montage, referring to the Oscars as the “White People’s Choice Awards“, and slapping at Hollywood for being “sorority racist.” Yes, Chris went there. And then once he got there, he took a cab from there and went even further by joking that the In Memoriam segment was going to be just black people who were shot by the cops on their way to the movies.
But because Chris is an equal-opportunity hater, he took a few swipes at the famous types who told him he should cancel his tuxedo rental and boycott the ceremony. Chris also shot up to the top of Scientology’s Shit List by reading Oscar boycotter Jada Pinkett Smith to filth. Marty’s clap back at Gloria happens at the 2:48 mark.
In the event that gets yanked from YouTube, you can watch the whole thing here.
According to Chris, “Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna’s panties. I wasn’t invited!” Somewhere in an ear-nose-and-throat clinic, the Original Aunt Viv is being treated for extensive damage done to her vocal cords from screaming “YAAASSSSS!” at the top of her lungs.
Chris kept it real, and I’m sure there were some people who weren’t having it. But it never really went into uncomfortable-for-everyone territory. Then again, you’ve got to work pretty hard to beat John Travolta creeping on everyone during last year’s ceremony.
Here’s Chris and his mom and his new girlfriend at the Vanity Fair party last night.
Jaden and Willow Smith, seen above looking like two vintage store-dwelling elves who are about to trick you into trading your soul for a velvet choker and a pair of Fluevog Munsters, are pretty much the unofficial prince and princess of DWTFYW (doing whatever the fuck you want). But unlike other rich kids who got their freedom to do whatever dumb shit they desired by threatening to run away to their summer home in Europe, Jaden and Willow were given full permission from their famous parents, Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith.
The NAACP Image Awards happened in Pasadena, CA last night, and once again, grand master poser Taraji P. Henson melted the eyelashes off of hos left and right with her extra hot posing game. At the Golden Globes last month, Taraji took us on a journey with her poses. She was Scarlett O’Hara with the vapors. She was a shocked Norma Desmond. She was me whenever one of my friends get me a new butt plug for my birthday. She was everything and more. Taraji played it a little more subtle at the NAACPs last night, but she still posed like she was head of her class at Phoebe Price’s Community College of Exuding Raw Glamour.
Empire won a few NAACP Awards last night including one for Taraji for Outstanding Actress in a Drama Series. Taraji should’ve won another award for Outstanding Posing While Holding A Trophy Backstage At The NAACP Awards. Taraji served up intrigue and orgasm faces while posing with that award. She also gets extra points for making sure that we all got a good view of that trophy’s crotch. And I even love that she looked like a cross between Morticia Addams going to a daytime business meeting and a casual Magica de Spell.
Here’s a million more pictures from last night of everyone looking like they’re wearing dresses they bought at Windsor Fashions in the 90s. Well, everyone except for Cree Summer who looked like Pilgrim Pippi Longstocking on the right kind of acid.
When Jada Pinkett Smith declared in a video on Facebook that she’s not going to attend or watch the Oscars this year over the all-white acting noms, I assumed that Will Smith was boycotting them too. I figured that even if the Oscars were projected on a bare ass at a bi swingers sex party, both Jada and Will would shut their eyes and refuse to watch it. Will is now making it perfectly clear that he’s sticking with his wife. Will also claims that he wouldn’t go even if he was the only black actor nominated. I felt the earth move a bit and I’m sure that was from The Original Aunt Viv busting out the eye roll of eye rolls while cackling.