No doubt that many eyes shot a side-eye after reading that headline, especially considering Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith have practically made second careers out of denying the divorce rumors. But it’s not like that at all. It’s Will and Jada, which means it’s bound to be two parts overcompensating with a dash of insufferable.
Look at those eyes. Those eyes are saying: “My pussy has a secret: and Imma tell it!”
People is reporting that on an episode of Jada Pinkett Smith’s Facebook web series Red Table Talk–where she tackles issues such as scarring her child for life and her petty feuds with other celebrities–she took her mother to the Vitality Institute of Agoura where the owner, a professional vagina-whisperer named Kelly Rainey, discussed pussy polishing. It’s there that Jada admitted she’s undergone three vaginal rejuvenation procedures.
Now that Jada Pinkett Smith has her own Facebook show, Red Table Talks, she’s been sharing all sorts of nuggets from the Pinkett-Smith family vault. One such tidbit is that she was devastated when Jaden Smith asked to be emancipated at age 15. You see, back when he was just a little proto-humanoid, Jaden wanted to be emancipated from his overbearing parents. Can you believe those monsters wouldn’t even help him find a doctor who would perform a surgery on him that would reverse his torso so he could wear his pants backwards without actually wearing backwards pants?! Will and Jada told him “no son, if you want reverse torso surgery, you’re going to have to find a doctor to perform it yourself and pay for it out of your own elective surgery allowance!”. Parents, they just don’t understand!
The only rumor about Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith’s 21-year marriage that has persisted longer than the one about them being swingers, is the one that claims they’re getting a divorce. The divorce rumors seem like a bit of a “So what, who cares?” in the grand scheme of things. But those rumors bother Will enough that he’s started rapping about them.
Will is working on new music, and yesterday, he released a short clip of himself in a studio recording a track called “To The Clique.” I don’t know if it’s because Will is 49, or if it’s some kind of thing he’s trying to do, but for some reason Will now raps like he just finished yelling at the neighborhood kids after he caught them tagging his recycling bins. Unfortunately, he’s gone from rapping about summertime and parents’ lack of comprehension to reciting rhymes that sound like they were ghostwritten by a publicist.
20 years of swag y’all just witnessed
Stop the divorce rumors and mind your damn business!
I get that Will is tired of the rumors, but the part about minding my damn business has me very confused. Will, you can’t tell us to mind our business when you and your family are all too willing to overshare. Here is but a brief list of TMI things I know about Will and Jada: Willow Smith learned about sex by walking in on her parents doing it. Will and Jada might have an open marriage. Jada loves watching her husband fuck on screen. Will takes secret pictures of naked Jada while she’s asleep. Really, Will, you can’t tell us to mind our business and stay out of your personal life when Jada is telling everyone that she’s jerked you off with a grapefruit.
Jada Pinkett Smith is still pimping out her new Facebook Watch show Red Table Talk. That’s how we heard about the secret 17-year feud she had with Gabrielle Union. The latest tidbit RTT teased is that Willow Smith once had the harrowing experience of walking in on her parents doing the Horizontal Tango. Only, since it’s Will Smith and Jada we’re talking about, it was probably some real unusual shit. Like the Secant Vector Shuffle with a Xenu twist. Whatever she saw, I’m sure it wasn’t covered in The Joy Of Sex.
If Ryan Murphy is still looking for material for Feud 2, Jada Pinkett Smith and Gabrielle Union would like him to believe they were JUST as catty as Bette Davis and Joan Crawford. Jada is doing some talk show on Facebook with her mom, and Gabrielle has a movie to promote, so what better time than to bring up a long-term feud none of us knew even existed?! Continue reading