Quincy Jones Says He Dated Ivanka Trump 12 Years Ago, And Knows That Marlon Brando Boned Richard Pryor (UPDATE)
Okay, who’s going to make the, “Trump, smell your daughter on these fingers,” joke about that pic?
Horny ole’ bag of endless tea Quincy Jones already took us for a wild ride during his GQ interview when he bragged about having 22 girlfriends, said he watched the nutsack of Ray Charles get shot up with heroin, and claimed that Marilyn Monroe was interested in getting with him but he turned her down. (I know, everything that comes out of Quincy’s talk hole should be certified as a lie for telling that fairy tale about Marilyn Monroe.)
Quincy is back with another wild interview where he claims he dated Trump’s favorite child, alludes to knowing who REALLY killed JFK and provided me with some good vintage fap material by saying that a young Marlon Brando fucked Marvin Gaye and Richard Pryor. 2018 is bringing the surprises, because who knew that Quincy Jones of all people would turn out to be my favorite neighborhood gossip. Benita Butrell, who?
As if I even needed to specify it was Ivanka Trump.
It’s been alleged that porn star Stormy Daniels was paid $130,000 a month before the election to keep quiet about an affair she had with Donald Trump in 2006. The only thing is, Stormy originally spoke to In Touch in 2011 about the affair, long before she allegedly took the $130,000 and signed an NDA. So yesterday InTouch Weekly was like, here, have at it, folks, and republished parts of their story.
Malia Obama goes to Harvard, and she was papped by TMZ at her first Harvard-Yale football game last weekend, smoking and making out with a strapping young man from Britain (Rory Farquharson). That was followed by a leaked video of Malia puffin out some smoke rings. Malia can kiss whom she pleases! She’s a strong, independent young woman with her whole life ahead of her OH PLEASE MALIA, PLEASE PLEASE ASK YOUR DAD TO COME BACK. OBAMA! THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY STUPID BUFFOONS! OBAMA, CAN YOU HEAR ME? OBAMA CAN YOU SEE ME? OBAMA CAN YOU FIND ME IN THE NIGHT?
Er, but I digress. Of course, a former First Daughter blowing smoke rings and locking lips with a boy at a college football game is a salacious scandal for those in the conservative media. Some of these haters loathe Obama & Co. even more than they hate the words “Happy Holidays.” So a former First Daughter living her life at a tailgate is practically cause for a Senate inquiry. Thankfully, one former First Daughter and a current First Daughter took to social media to defend her.
Those who say that journalism is dead will eat their words when reading HuffPo’s report on the discovery of what they think is First
Complicit Daughter Ivanka Trump and her senior White House adviser husband Jared Kushner’s Spotify playlist for bonin’. To those of you who naturally assumed the list would feature “Let’s Fuck” by The Dwarves, my condolences. It turns out that nothing gets Ivanka and Jared slippier than a sexless, whiny James Blunt ditty about stalking. “Jar Jar, tonight I want to cum to ‘You’re Beautiful!’ Make it happen or I’LL TELL DADDY!” Continue reading
I don’t trust anybody named Trump as far as I can throw them. Ivanka Trump, perhaps the most easily tossed Trump, is no exception. So when Ivanka says she went through a “punk phase”, I’ve got to go see my ophthalmologist for severe spraining of the eyeballs. Ivanka wrote a chapter in her mom Ivana Trump‘s book Raising Trump, and because she’s a bad liar, she revealed that she used to shoplift tampons with GG Allin back in the day. Or close to it!
I always figured Ivanka Trump and her brother Donald Trump Jr. were diabolical schemers cozying up to their pops and his wallet until the day he croaks, but this is some 1980s soap opera shit. Newsweek got their hands on an archived interview Trump did with Howard Stern. And if you didn’t already feel bad for the Donald’s Other Daughter Tiffany Trump, well you might now. Not a lot – just a teeny-tiny bit. Like, visualize the amount Donald wants to date Tiffany, and divide it in half.