Category: Ivana Trump

Ivanka Trump Claims To Have Had A “Punk Phase”

October 18, 2017 / Posted by:

I don’t trust anybody named Trump as far as I can throw them. Ivanka Trump, perhaps the most easily tossed Trump, is no exception. So when Ivanka says she went through a “punk phase”, I’ve got to go see my ophthalmologist for severe spraining of the eyeballs. Ivanka wrote a chapter in her mom Ivana Trump‘s book Raising Trump, and because she’s a bad liar, she revealed that she used to shoplift tampons with GG Allin back in the day. Or close to it!

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Ivana Trump Thinks Melania Trump Needs To “Get Over It”

October 14, 2017 / Posted by:

The least surprising thing about the Trump presidency is that his current wife Melania Trump (aka the First Lady) and his ex-wife Ivana Trump have both come down with cat-scratch fever and are battling it out in the press and on TV. In the Trump era, nothing is considered inappropriate, undignified, or “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE FIRST LADY, WHY WOULD YOU TAKE EVEN A MOMENT TO ADDRESS THIS CHICK’S TAUNTS. PUERTO RICO IS STILL A DISASTER AREA. DID YOU STOP BULLYING, YET? IT’S ALL ABOUT PRIORITIES, CAPTAIN HURRICANE STILETTOS!

Ivana is selling a book about raising her and Donald’s awful children, and her marketing ploy of dragging the First Lady worked. Because the First Lady responded. So Ivana went on Wendy Williams to respond to Melania’s response. Continue reading

Someone Hold Ivana Trump’s Champagne, Sweetie Dahling, Because She’s Going In On The Trump Wives

October 10, 2017 / Posted by:

Donald Trump is the cattiest queen of the Trump family, but it looks like Ivana Trump learned a thing or two from him, because she used one manicured paw to drag Trump wife #2 Marla Maples by the hair and used her other manicured paw to drag current Trump wife Melania Trump by the hair. And yes, Andy Cohen is loving this Real Trumpwives of Shitsville reunion moment.

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Ivana Trump Didn’t Want To Give Up Her Opulent Life To Be A Government Employee 

October 6, 2017 / Posted by:

Nearly three seconds after a doomsday cloud fucked us all in the ass when we found out that Donald Trump won the United States presidency, there was a rumor that he was going to offer his first wife, Czech-American gold digging icon Ivana Trump, the U.S. ambassadorship to the Czech Republic. It was later reported that Ivana turned down the gig, and she’s now telling CBS News the reason why. Ivana just didn’t want to give up her lap of luxury lifestyle, dahling!

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