Category: Ivana Trump

Open Post: Hosted By Rita Ora Giving You Intergalactic Bordello Madam

January 28, 2018 / Posted by:

When you’re a question mark’s favorite pop singer and people regularly mistake you for the wall, you have to pull some shit to make people pay attention to you. Like dress yourself up as a Miss Kitty from the future who just got jumped by a gang of silkie chickens.

Clive Davis threw his annual pre-Grammy party in NYC last night, and many of the guests decided to save their better dresses for tonight’s Grammys (although, they should really just wear pajamas with an attached pillow and duvet cover, because that shit is going to be three and a half fucking hours long). Because most of them wore boring dresses bought off the rack at Macy’s (Taryn Manning’s impact!), but not Rita Ora.

Rita Ora threw feathers, fringe, bows, rhinestone and whatever else that was on sale at Michael’s onto her body. Rita looks like she just came from auditioning for the Thandie Newton role in a no-budget unauthorized Public Access reboot of Westworld that takes place way off in the future and will eventually get shut down after HBO sues. Rita is also dressed like a look-for-less Kartrashian, which is saying a lot since the Kartrashians dress like look-for-less Kartrashians.

And here’s a million more pictures from Clive Davis’ party, including Kathie Lee Gifford (who I hope wins, via write-in vote, the Best Song Grammy tonight for He Saw Jesus) and Martha Stewart, whose dogs are probably nervous that she’s going to skin and wear their asses next.

Pics: Wenn.com

Ivana Trump Gleefully Gabbed Again About The Other Mrs. Trump

November 27, 2017 / Posted by:

Every time Ivana Trump sits down to do an interview I get real excited with the hope that some juicy (and actionable) tidbit about Donald Trump will “innocently” slip from her exuberantly painted lips. But she’s very careful. Since she walked back those early rape allegations a while back, she’s mostly kept her gossip very shady and directed at easy target Melania Trump. Even if she’s chosen not to bring down the current administration (because there’s a chance she could if she wanted to), she still can’t resist subtly dragging Donny and his “new” wife whenever she gets the chance.

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Ivanka Trump Claims To Have Had A “Punk Phase”

October 18, 2017 / Posted by:

I don’t trust anybody named Trump as far as I can throw them. Ivanka Trump, perhaps the most easily tossed Trump, is no exception. So when Ivanka says she went through a “punk phase”, I’ve got to go see my ophthalmologist for severe spraining of the eyeballs. Ivanka wrote a chapter in her mom Ivana Trump‘s book Raising Trump, and because she’s a bad liar, she revealed that she used to shoplift tampons with GG Allin back in the day. Or close to it!

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Ivana Trump Thinks Melania Trump Needs To “Get Over It”

October 14, 2017 / Posted by:

The least surprising thing about the Trump presidency is that his current wife Melania Trump (aka the First Lady) and his ex-wife Ivana Trump have both come down with cat-scratch fever and are battling it out in the press and on TV. In the Trump era, nothing is considered inappropriate, undignified, or “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE FIRST LADY, WHY WOULD YOU TAKE EVEN A MOMENT TO ADDRESS THIS CHICK’S TAUNTS. PUERTO RICO IS STILL A DISASTER AREA. DID YOU STOP BULLYING, YET? IT’S ALL ABOUT PRIORITIES, CAPTAIN HURRICANE STILETTOS!

Ivana is selling a book about raising her and Donald’s awful children, and her marketing ploy of dragging the First Lady worked. Because the First Lady responded. So Ivana went on Wendy Williams to respond to Melania’s response. Continue reading

Someone Hold Ivana Trump’s Champagne, Sweetie Dahling, Because She’s Going In On The Trump Wives

October 10, 2017 / Posted by:

Donald Trump is the cattiest queen of the Trump family, but it looks like Ivana Trump learned a thing or two from him, because she used one manicured paw to drag Trump wife #2 Marla Maples by the hair and used her other manicured paw to drag current Trump wife Melania Trump by the hair. And yes, Andy Cohen is loving this Real Trumpwives of Shitsville reunion moment.

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Ivana Trump Didn’t Want To Give Up Her Opulent Life To Be A Government Employee 

October 6, 2017 / Posted by:

Nearly three seconds after a doomsday cloud fucked us all in the ass when we found out that Donald Trump won the United States presidency, there was a rumor that he was going to offer his first wife, Czech-American gold digging icon Ivana Trump, the U.S. ambassadorship to the Czech Republic. It was later reported that Ivana turned down the gig, and she’s now telling CBS News the reason why. Ivana just didn’t want to give up her lap of luxury lifestyle, dahling!

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