Category: IKEA
Open Post: Hosted By IKEA’s Bisexual Couch
An IKEA post that isn’t about that glamorous monkey in the fur coat? Ugh, fiiiine. So, as we all know, it’s the last day of Pride Month. And nobody loves Pride Month more than corporations. IKEA is no exception. They just released a line of 10 sofas, or “Love Seats”, which were designed based on various LBGBTQ+ flags. There’s a couple of light pink and blue ones inspired by the transgender flag, a frilly one to represent the asexuality flag, and couches that pay homage to pansexual, non-binary, 2spirit, genderfluid, and progress flags.
And THEN there is the bisexual couch. This particular Love Seat is covered in pink, purple, and blue hands and arms that seem to be reaching for the couch-sitter. The back cushions read: “When you change Or to And, nobody believes you.” And it’s giving me less Bisexual Pride and more “Sigourney Weaver gets dragged into her demon fridge in Ghostbusters.” Continue reading
IKEA Wants You To Stop Masturbating In Their Stores
The New York Post reports that IKEA has had to tighten up security. No they haven’t had a rash of break-ins or shoplifting recently. They had to up security because they want people to stop jacking off in their stores. I know the meatballs are good but DAMN.
Open Post: Hosted By IKEA’S 75 Cent Vegan Hot Dog
It hasn’t been a great year for cost-conscious retail store hot dogs. Back in July, Costco dumped their beloved Polish hot dog in an attempt to be healthier (thankfully, Sam’s Club stepped up as the hero we needed). IKEA launched a veggie dog in Sweden back in February, and it has finally made its way to the USA. And that right there is what it looks like. Kind of like the healthy food equivalent of the mistake that emerged from the telepod in David Cronenberg’s The Fly.
IKEA Is Working On A Perfume
Sadly, it won’t smell like meatballs. That picture is just the most suitable image for a story about IKEA and scent. But since we know very little about the actual smell of IKEA’s perfume, let’s all believe for one sweet short moment that they could have taken over the perfume world by bottling the hot salty smell of their greasy processed cafeteria meat spheres.
IKEA announced on their blog and at the Democratic Design Days 2017 in Sweden that they’re working with perfume house Byredo on a signature scent. They also released a pretentious video which makes it seem like their perfume is going to be really classy. I pictured an IKEA scent coming in a frustrating-to-assemble package and retailing for $2.98.
IKEA hinted on their blog that it might smell like the halls of IKEA, aka cinnamon buns. My IKEA smells like cardboard, hot dogs, AS IS section upholstery and melted soft serve. Not that I’m complaining! I just want to know if that will be a future scent.
Pic: IKEA