Category: I See You Bitch

Taylor Swift Is Getting Called Out For Her “Calculated” Collaboration With Ice Spice

May 25, 2023 / Posted by:

Subtle” was redefined yesterday when Taylor Swift burped up the news that she’s releasing new versions of two songs from her album Midnights. TayTay announced that she and Lana Del Rey recorded a new version of their song Snow on the Beach and that she and IT rapper of the moment, Ice Spice, did a remix of her song Karma. Many have stamped the latter collab with the words “DAMAGE CONTROL” since TayTay’s current poo (typo and it stays), Matty Healy, laughed at racist comments about Ice Spice on a podcast. And while some Swifties have once again defended their savior over this, others are adding this damage control jewel to TayTay’s Queen of Performative Acts crown.

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Lori Loughlin And Mossimo Giannulli Will Finally Plead Guilty, And Have Agreed To Serving Prison Time

May 21, 2020 / Posted by:

Lori Loughlin and her husband Mossimo Giannulli have finally used a tub of Crisco to pull each other’s heads out of their own asses and admit that they were in the wrong when they paid $500,000 to get their daughters, Olivia Jade Giannulli and Isabella Rose Giannulli, into USC through the university’s rowing team even though those girls probably thought that “rowing” was a term for sitting front row at a fashion show. Lori and Mossimo’s ride up shit creek without a paddle (“Why are you looking at us? You know we don’t have a damn paddle” – Olivia Jade and Isabella Rose) ended with prosecutors saying, “Aunt Becky and Mossimo, you’re going to want to smear some La Mer on your hands to protect you from this extremely delicate slap on the wrist.” Lori and Mossimo took a plea deal and in exchange for pleading guilty, she’ll get two months in “prison” and he’ll get five months. I put “prison” in air quotes because I’m sure these two have another trick up their sleeve and that trick is using COVID-19 to get out of stepping foot in an actual cell.

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Melania Trump Really Outdid Those Hurricane Heels 

June 21, 2018 / Posted by:

Ann Coulter, the hemorrhoid that a Ninth Circle rat chewed off of Lucifer’s asshole and barfed into a puddle of acid where it mutated into a shit-spewing demon, accused the detention camp children of being crisis actors. Well, Melania Trump heard what Ann Coulter said and decided to show a bitch what crisis acting really is when she showed up to the New Hope Children’s Center in McAllen, TX today and pretended to care about the 60 immigrant kids and teens from Central America who are being detained there. But before Melania acted like she cared, she told us that she really doesn’t by wearing a jacket that read “I Really Don’t Care. Do U?” as she boarded the plane headed to Texas. In Melania’s defense, she was probably forced to wear that because it’s the new official uniform of the Trump family.

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Ivana Trump Didn’t Want To Give Up Her Opulent Life To Be A Government Employee 

October 6, 2017 / Posted by:

Nearly three seconds after a doomsday cloud fucked us all in the ass when we found out that Donald Trump won the United States presidency, there was a rumor that he was going to offer his first wife, Czech-American gold digging icon Ivana Trump, the U.S. ambassadorship to the Czech Republic. It was later reported that Ivana turned down the gig, and she’s now telling CBS News the reason why. Ivana just didn’t want to give up her lap of luxury lifestyle, dahling!

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Mimi Can’t Be Bothered With Israeli Corruption Scandals, Dahling! 

June 28, 2017 / Posted by:

Mimi fluttered into Tel Aviv earlier this week to promote her partnership with skincare line, Premier Dead Sea Cosmetics, and so she was there to talk about herself, beauty, herself, the Dead Sea, herself, premierness, herself, cosmetics, herself and singing. She was not there to talk about her Australian billionaire ex’s possible involvement in a corruption scandal! Like Jennifer Lopez’s name, question marks twirl out of Mimi’s butterfly ears when someone brings up politics to her.

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Kanye West Isn’t “Traditionally American” Enough To Perform At The Inauguration

January 19, 2017 / Posted by:

When the piss-haired egomaniac met the piss-haired egomaniac at Trump Tower in December, many of us guessed that Donald Trump was either going to offer Kanye West a cabinet position (Secretary of the Interior, because Kanye is into interior design and shit) or ask him to perform at the inauguration. Neither happened. I figured that Kanye wasn’t ask to perform at Trump’s inauguration, because he’s just not a big enough star to join the A-list extravaganza that includes an America’s Got Talent runner-up, Tony Orlando and 3 Doors Down. But it turns out that Kanye wasn’t asked to perform because he just doesn’t fit the “traditionally American” vibe that organizers are going for.

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