Open Post: Hosted By The “Creepy Man With A Pillow” Who Police Got A Call About 

Imagine you’re at home, minding your own business, and you look out the window to see some mustachioed fiend standing outside gripping a pillow. He doesn’t look bothered, in fact he’s grinning like an idiot, despite the fact that it’s freezing outside and he’s not wearing a coat. You might think he was some sort of deranged imbecile who thinks that Trump was chosen by God to become President. And you’d be right! That’s what happened to a Jordan, Minnesota resident who called the police to report a seriously fucked up looking person standing outside in the cold. But because they are nice in Minnesota, they only called so that the police could do a wellness check on the person. Turns out the guy was more fucked up than he looked. When the police got there, they found him stiff as a board! Turns out it was a cardboard cutout of MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell, and he actually believes Trump was appointed by God.

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Here’s The Trailer For “Peppermint” Starring Jennifer Garner

Jennifer Garner’s mad as hell and she’s not gonna take it anymore! After years of being the grown up in her relationship with Ben Affleck, she’s probably burnt the fuck out from playing nice. Maybe that’s why she’s eschewed her usual “rom-com I have pretty chestnut hair and a winning smile” roles for something slightly zestier. In Peppermint (I heard mint described as “cold spicy” recently which kind of blew my mind), directed by the same guy who did the first Taken movie, Jennifer plays a lady version of Liam Neeson in a kitten wig she borrowed from the Monét X Change collection. She’s an avenging angel willing to stop at nothing to get revenge for her slaughtered family. Peppermint is Jennifer’s phoenix back tattoo.

Here’s the trailer!

I swear to God I listened to the first part a minimum of 8 times in disbelief that she would tell her little girl that she had peppermint in her butt. I had to get an assist to hear what she really says (it’s “blood” apparently). This looks good, I will probably see this movie. It’s nice to see Jennifer back in Sydney Bristow mode instead of hands clasped primly in front, frozen smile and dead eyes mode, as she’s appeared of late. Of course this movie’s premise is older than dirt, but I enjoy the splendid mustache work going on throughout, so I’m in!

Pic: YouTube