One second after that picture was taken, the baldie in the poster on the door spit out his cigar after he blew all the loads in his balls from being so close to such elegance.
The camera lenses of the paparazzi in Germany have it so much better than the camera lenses of the paparazzi here in the US. The pap lenses here practically fall asleep every time they have to get a picture of a human drool stain (like the Jenners, the Kartrashians, the Hadids, etc..) in ugly clothes, while in Germany, the pap lenses tingle from taking in the orgasm-inducing sophistication of Harald Glööckler, Micaela Schäfer and Sophia Vegas! 18 years ago (I’m guessing that Sophia is 18), two delicate faeries bareback boned on top of a delicate rosebud in a field in Germany somewhere, and after one of the faeries busted an ethereal nut on the rosebud, it bloomed into the gorgeous blossom we know as Sophia Vegas. Sophia is a “reality star” in Germany, the ex-wife of a German brothel owner, and more importantly a friend of Brazilian diamond The Human Doll (government ID name: Rodrigo Alves).
Because today’s theme seems to be balls flying at faces (and not in the way I dream about in my teabag dreams), here’s a little clip of human Grammy repellent Katy Perry perfectly nailing an audience member with an inflatable eyeball as though someone screamed at her, “Quick, Katy! Your arch nemesis Taylor Swift is lurking over there and is about to strike!”
KatyCat Jordan Hanks was at Katy Perry’s show in Salt Lake City on Friday, and was recording her performance of Roar when she almost took him out with a flying ball to the head. Katy looks about as over it and tired as a hungover preschool teacher trying to teach a stupid song to her students on a Monday morning, but what she lacks in enthusiasm, she makes up for in her impeccable soccer skills.
Katy Perry didn’t even attack your head with a giant eyeball and you probably feel dizzy…. from trying to figure out what in Dollar Tree Jean Paul Gaultier space raver HELL she’s wearing. Jordan is okay. Thankfully he didn’t get injured, like lose his eyesight, because then he wouldn’t be able to take in these breathtaking pictures that have nothing to do with Katy Perry (except for the fact that his peroxide ‘do is hotter than hers) but are too hot to not share. Behold, the Human Ken Doll, Rodrigo Alves, giving you Voldemort Ann Jillian glamour while shopping in Milan.