Category: How Dare You
Kylie Jenner’s Getting Dragged For Throwing Her Kids An Astroworld-Themed Party (Again) Despite The Festival’s 2021 Crowd Surge Tragedy
It’s hard to forget the sad and catastrophic events of Travis Scott’s Astroworld Festival back in November 2021, when a crowd surge resulted in hundreds of injuries and 10 deaths, several of which were children. Unless you’re Kylie Jenner and Travis, and you have a birthday party to throw, of course! Because they just threw their kids, Stormi and Wolf Aire, a joint “Stormi/Aireworld” birthday party. Page Six says Kylie posted shots of the insensitive mess on her Instagram stories, and many have spoken out to give her the business for such a callous, ill-informed choice.
Open Post: Hosted By Dionne Warwick Being Mistaken For Gladys Knight
History was made last night as Serena Williams won her 108th(!) U.S. Open title when two hussies misidentified Dionne Warwick for Gladys Knight and survived. Naturally, there were a shit ton of celebrities in the stadium to see what could be Serena’s last U.S. Open and both Dionne and Gladys were there. But ESPN broadcasters Mary Carillo and Chanda Rubin both seemingly agreed that the elegant matron with the iconic short blond hair and cheekbones that could cut a bitch from across a room was Gladys, who plays, instead of Dionne, who absolutely does not. And I’m not talking about tennis, I’m talking about with fools.
Meghan Markle Was Taken Aback When Mariah Carey Said She Had Some “Diva Moments”
One might assume based on context clues such as *checks notes* becoming an actress, marrying a prince, being addressed unironically as a Duchess, getting super into British hats and tiaras, co-orchestrating a split from the Royal Family causing an international uproar, coyly teasing details about the reasons why on Oprah, coyly teasing a “groundbreaking” podcast for two years and then inviting Mariah Carey on said podcast to discuss what it means to be a “diva,” that Meghan Markle might feel some sort of personal connection to the word. But nope.
Sir Ian McKellen Almost Became Homeless And It Was All Taylor Swift’s Fault!
Of course I’m being a *bit* dramatic, since we all know Sir Ian McKellen always has a couch at Sir Patrick Stewart’s house, and you’re never truly homeless when you live in the hearts of millions. But still! The point is that the wannabe Truly Scrumptious once put Gandalf’s ass out on the streets, and that’s how you guarantee yourself a one-way first class ticket to Hell.
Sir Ian recently outed Taylor Swift as the Sweet Valley High version of Benny Coffin III during a recent interview with the Gay Star News when he told the story about how he was evicted from his apartment by Tay Tay. Tay Tay was playing House Hunters in New York City and decided to buy Peter Jackson’s apartment. The only problem was, Sir Ian was crashing at Peter Jackson’s apartment at the time. Rather than doing the right thing and letting life legend Sir Ian keep squatting, she grabbed her Peppermint Rose stationary and a scented push-point pencil and told him to GTFO. According to Sir Ian, he was “thrown out” a month before he was supposed to leave. I don’t know where he went, but I just pictured Sir Ian wandering the streets of New York in the rain with a hobo bindle over his shoulder, and now I’m sad. THANKS TAYLOR.
Because Sir Ian is truly an angel sent from above, he claims he doesn’t hold a grudge against Taylor:
“Well she bought it, she’s every right to take it over. I was just lodging there for free you know.”
Although he’s not exactly rushing out to be one of her next “Please welcome to the stage…” surprise guests either. When asked what it’s like to be part of Taylor’s “squad” (Taylor once Tweeted a collage of picture of Sir Ian and Sir Patrick), Ian confessed that she had asked Sir Ian and Sir Patrick to join her on stage during one of her shows in Los Angeles. But they politely declined because they “had something else to do that night” instead. Oooh, look out, Sir Ian and Sir Patrick; you’re about to become a song titled “Knights in Jealous Hater Armor.“
Vince Gilligan Would Like You To Stop Throwing Pizzas Onto The Roof Of The Breaking Bad House
If you never got around to watching Breaking Bad (aka Malcolm’s Dad Goes Crazy), there’s an episode in the third season called “Caballo Sin Nombre” that features a scene of Walter White getting pissed off and angrily whipping a pizza onto the roof of his house. Since they filmed Breaking Bad in a real neighborhood in New Mexico, fans have apparently been rolling up to Walter White’s old house and throwing pizzas on the roof as some kind of dumb reverse souvenir.
Unfortunately the creator of Breaking Bad, Vince Gilligan, isn’t thrilled that there’s always a pile of rancid food on some poor lady’s roof. Vince recently hissed at the pizza tossers during a podcast interview about his new show Better Call Saul (via NY Daily News), and told them to cut that shit out:
“There is nothing original or funny or cool about throwing a pizza on this lady’s roof. It’s just not funny, it’s been done before. You are not the first. We love our fans; I don’t love those fans. I don’t even consider them fans, I consider them jagoffs.”
JAGOFFS! He also added that the people who live in the house are the “nicest people in the world” who are more than happy to let fans take pictures. Vince Gilligan was joined by Jonathan Banks (aka badass grandpa Mike Ehrmantraut), who said he’d “hunt down” the pizza bandits before adding:
“If you…are doing that, straight your ass up man, because it’s not cool…you don’t treat people that way.”
Both urged fans to take down the license plate numbers of anyone creeping around the Breaking Bad house with a random pizza box. Vigilante Pizza Justice! My favorite kind.
Even though I don’t live in that New Mexico pizza roof house, I’m still pissed as hell at those pizza bandits. How could anyone claim they’re a Breaking Bad fan and waste a perfectly good pizza like that? Wasting pizza makes Jesse Pinkman cry.
Kelly Clarkson Says She Will Deny Her Daughter One Of Cinema’s Greatest Gifts To Humanity
File this under the No. 1 reason people probably don’t want to work with Kelly Clarkson: during an interview with TIME about her new album Piece by Piece, Kelly was asked at what age she would introduce her daughter River Rose to the cinematic masterpiece that is the 2003 film From Justin to Kelly. Kelly’s response SHOULD have been “As soon as possible” or “Duh, I had my OB-GYN throw an iPad up my cooch while I was pregnant so she could watch that shit in-utero”. But Kelly Clarkson clearly has no appreciation for good taste and/or cargo shorts, because her answer was this:
TIME: At what age will you sit River Rose down and tell her about From Justin to Kelly?
Kelly Clarkson: Never! We don’t have to show her that!TIME: You’re going to pretend it doesn’t exist?
Kelly Clarkson: That’s what I do. So why not?TIME: It could be a cult movie classic, you just have to give it a few more years.
Kelly Clarkson: Oh my God, I hope not. I just want it to go away. I want to own all of it. I just want it to not be here.
NOOOOOOOOO KELLY CLARKSON – take it back take it back TAKE IT BACK! From Justin to Kelly is one of the finest pieces of so-bad-its-good fuckery to ever grace humanity’s eyeballs. Your baby should know about From Justin to Kelly, Kelly. Your baby should know as soon as her eyes start recognizing shapes and colors. Although even then, she’ll still probably be looking at Justin Guarini’s hair and thinking “WTF am I even looking at?“