Charlie Hunnam had to put lots of muscles on his body for his last three movies, including the ones he’s promoting now, The Lost City Of Z. Charlie talked to Men’s Health about how he got so ripped, and he said he did it by quitting weed, working out a lot (duh) and pretty much existing on the model diet (coffee and cigarettes). Charlie does it all when it comes to work out stuff, and one of the exercise techniques he counts on the most to keep his body hot is fucking.
Don’t you dare e-mail me your dry cleaning bill. It’s not my fault that the sight of white hot daddy Ric Flair in Liberace’s casual loungin’ robe causes crotches to burst.
Retired WWE champion Ric Flair recently bragged on his radio show, The Ric Flair Show, about all of the dozens of famous chicks who have taken a ride on Space Mountain. “Space Mountain” is apparently what Ric calls fuck times with him, which makes sense since like the ride, it doesn’t last long and you’ll be dizzy and disappointed afterward. The Stylin’, profilin’, limousine riding, jet flying, kiss-stealing, wheelin’ n’ dealin’ son of a gun would only say the name of one celebrity he’s done and that’s Halle Berry. But according to Halle Berry’s people, her coochie’s passport doesn’t have a stamp with Space Mountain’s name on it.
Who cares if Ricky Martin’s shirt looks like it’s covered in flattened cockroaches and stepped-on bunny poop? Who also cares if Ricky Martin’s face looks like it was reupholstered in pieces cut out from the sun-damaged leather Levitz couch my tia kept on her backyard patio for years? Who cares about any of that? I doubt Ricky Martin gives a fuck , because he’s too busy humping on his hot new piece.
This post is really just an excuse to gently caress your eyeballs with the velvety beauty of the tip moistening Italian Adonis who looks like he was chiseled out of a giant blog of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter by Michelangelo. When the Internet hands you a reason to post an exquisite portrait of the human vibrator for eyes, you take it. But while we’re here, let’s go into Fabio pissing all over Kim Kartrashian, and not in the way that made her famous.
If you’re Alex Rodriguez, I’d know you’d hit it like the final pitch at the World Series. This is A-Rod’s dream girl. She’s got the 3 Bs: blonde, buff and butch!
On last night’s second season premiere of Lip Sync Battle, Jenna Dewan Tatum did herself up in bro drag (complete with Mimi-like painted on abs) to channel her husband Channing Tatum while performing Ginuwine’s Pony. Channing Tatum’s response to that was to tuck, pluck and fuck it up as Chanyonce while performing Run The World (Girls). Channing Tatum as Beyonce looks more like He-Man in drag as She-Ra. Chanyonce is giving me Jocelyn Wildenstein’s face on Madonna’s body.
The queens of RuPaul’s Drag Race have nothing to worry about, because Channing lip synched about as good as Brit Brit Spears after getting her mouth shot up with novocaine. But what Chanyonce lacked in lip synching skills, he made up for in charisma and pussy popping. A very special guest also strutted out at the end. Sadly, it wasn’t Jonah Hill who did himself up in Shakira drag to perform Beautiful Liar. Prepare your b-hole for puckering:
To quote Channing Tatum:
I love how Beyonce gave Chanyonce props at the end. I don’t think she even did that with Michelle Williams. Chanyonce and Beyonce should really be the Super Bowl Halftime Show headliners. Move over, Coldplay.
Channing also did Queen Elsa and this is obviously the role he was born to play.
And it weirds me out to say this, but yeah, I’d hit it until his wig popped off.
I mean, that’s what’s going on here, right? You can’t tell me that Idris Elba is lifting a tire for exercise? Who does that? Working out is so weird.
Since we’re on the subject of nipple-hardening hot pieces, here’s Idris Elba’s spread in Men’s Health, which has a picture of him holding a giant tire (I know you’re going to Photoshop yourself over that tire) and a picture of him relaxing on a car like no one has ever relaxed on a car before. Idris also said words to Men’s Health too, but all the words he said were about boring work-out stuff. But the thing about working-out-talk is that a thirsty, hard-up, desperate piece of trash like myself can easily twist those words to create a sentence that is much more relevant to my interests.
Idris on his fitness goals:
“Some guys want to be toned or want to jog for miles, but my ultimate fitness goal is to be fight-ready. If I step into the ring, could I go toe-to-toe for five rounds? That’s what I strive for. That’s what I consider fit. I want to know that if I’m being wrestled to the ground, I’ve got the strength to fight a man off.”
I read that as: “I want to [be] wrestled to the ground [by] a man [who will suck] my toe for five rounds.” That last part was for Quentin Tarantino.
Idris on doing something called burpees:
“I do these burpees where you have to stand up, and then you kind of crawl on your hands to the burpee position, burpee, and then crawl back up and do a star jump. I do about 15 of those and then I’m done.”
I read that as: “I [want] you [to] crawl on your hands [in front of me and show me your dirt] star.”
Idris on how shit is too vanilla nowadays:
“These days everything is a bit watered down, a bit vanilla. If I want to do something, I’ll do it—breakdancing at the end of a movie trailer, adding a verse on a rap song, racing rally cars. Why not? If that’s a man’s man, cool.”
Okay that one I can read as is.