Category: Hot Slut of the Year
Who Is Hot Slut Of 2021? Vote In The Final Round!
It only took (insert OldRoseSayingItsBeen84Years.GIF) but we’ve finally made it to the final round in choosing which Hot Slut was the Hottest Hot Slut of all the Hot Sluts of last year. Steve Buscemi’s meme Halloween costume has won the third round of the HSOTY semi-finals with 42% of the votes and will take the final spot in the grand final. Get a lot of rest, snort protein powder, and meditate to a higher Hot Slut being (Phoebe Price), because you’ll need strength and clarity to decide who should inherit the HSOTY scepter (and yes, it’s a gently-used long dildo) from our current reigning HSOTY Leslie Jordan. Your choices are:
Steve Buscemi’s “How Do You Do Fellow Kids?” Costume!
Voting is below. We will crown our new Hot Slut of the Year on Monday, January 31. And the results will stay hidden until then for MAXIMUM DRAMATIC EFFECT!!!
Who Is Hot Slut Of 2021? Vote in Round Three!
The Hot Slut of 2021 final round is turning into a battle of the pepaws. Because Bernie Sanders’ Mittens won the first round and the second round was won by The Beauty School Husband with 64% of the votes. So Steve Buscemi, Bob Dylan, and Noodle the pepaw pug are sliding into this bitch with the advantage. Beyhan Mutlu, they’re coming to take you down! Your choices for round three are:
September: Beyhan Mutlu, the 50-year-old man from Turkey who drunkenly joined the search party looking for a missing man who turned out to be him.
October: Noodle, the 13-year-old pug who may be facing a class-action lawsuit from fettuccine, spaghetti, and ramen for becoming the most famous Noodle thanks to his daily “Bones or No Bones” predictions.
November: Steve Buscemi’s “How Do You Do Fellow Kids?” Costume, the costume of his own meme that Steve Buscemi wore on Halloween.
December: Bob Dylan’s Christmas Lights, the fuck effort Christmas lights display that decorates the outside of Bob Dylan’s Malibu compound every year.
Voting is below. The winner of round three will be crowned on Monday, January 24, and then we’ll start voting on the FINAL ROUND (I know, I’ve been dragging this out more than Brian Cox drags his past co-workers!)
Who Is Hot Slut Of 2021? Vote In Round Two!
Bernie Sanders’ Mittens are now a Hot Slut of the Year finalist after winning the first round with 41% of the votes. I’m sure if mittens were able to feel things and communicate, Bernie Sanders’ Mittens would take a bow and be grateful (or send in a cease and desist, probably that one). Now, let’s move on to which HSOTM will take the second out of three spots. It’s a battle between the animal kingdom and a Canadian sweetheart. Here are your choices:
May: The Beauty School Husband, the gold-hearted Canadian man who caused the icicles on the most frozen of hearts to melt when we all learned that he went to the Delmar College of Hair and Esthetics in Calgary because his wife of 50 years was having trouble with her vision and he wanted to learn how to curl her hair for her.
June: Esme, the cat thief of Beaverton, OR whose acts of thievery were wrongly and boldly called out in a lawn sign by her own human.
July: The Embarrassed Raccoon, the raccoon in Dalton, GA who got caught on camera doing the embarrassing face palm like my dates whenever their friends see us out in public after he got stuck in a house and had to be rescued.
August: Eros, Mira, and Myra, the three lifeguard pooches in Italy who saved a group of humans from drowning after they were swept out to sea.
Voting is below and the winner of this round will be announced on Wednesday, January 19!
Pic: Facebook, YouTube, City of Dalton Fire Department, Facebook
Who Is Hot Slut Of 2021? Vote In Round One!
It’s the time of year when we skip down Hot Slut Memory Lane and look back at the HSOTMs of 2021 and say, “Wait, that only happened last year?!” Bob Dylan’s Christmas Lights won December’s HSOTM title, so that stunning holiday display will battle it out for the Hot Slut of the Year crown. But first, it’s round one!
The HSOTY battle royale is broken down into four rounds. In each of the first three rounds, four HSOTMs will compete, and the winner of each round will go on to the final round to fight for the illustrious HSOTY crown. Round one is made up of the HSOTM winners from January, February, March, and April. Here are your choices.
January: Bernie Sanders’ Mittens, the mittens that stole the show at Joe Biden’s presidential inauguration.
February: The Kitty Lawyer, the white pussy filter that one Texas attorney was trapped in during a Zoom-hosted court hearing.
March: Sisu and His Unicorn Soulmate, the then stray dog in North Carolina who kept sneaking into a Dollar General to be with his true love, a unicorn plushie.
April: The 7-Eleven Lizard, the Monitor lizard who slithered into a 7-Eleven outside of Bangkok and crawled up some shelves (and probably in an effort to cool its hot ass on the air conditioning unit).
Voting is below. The winner will be announced this Friday, January 14, and that’s when we’ll start round two!
Dlisted’s Hot Slut Of 2020 Is….
After hundreds of Hot Slut of the Days, a dozen Hot Slut of the Months, and over 160 million of your votes (yes, the Hot Slut of the Year showdown got more votes than the U.S. presidential election and don’t “fake news” me on that one), we have 2020’s Hottest Hot Slut who out Hot Slutted them all.
It came down to Leslie Jordan (April’s Hot Slut of the Month), Chang Wan-ji and Hsu Sho-er (July’s Hot Sluts of the Month), and The Fly on Mike Pence’s head (November’s Hot Slut of the Month). The winner is after the cut, and I’m sure it’ll be difficult to click with your fingers shivering with massive amounts of anticifuckingpation.
Who Is Hot Slut Of 2020? Vote In The Final Round!
The inauguration of Joe Biden and Kamala Harris gave us Amanda Gorman, Jennifer Lopez telling us to get louder than her huge diamond ass ring which knocked my good retina out with its sparkles, and the Bernie Sanders meme that has been effectively killed forever by music producer Bernie Blanco (DO NOT CLICK ON THAT LINK) on TikTok. But one thing the inauguration didn’t give us was a magnetic interpretive dance performance to Queen’s Spread Your Wings from the breakout star of the 2020 Presidential election: THE FLY who must have mistaken the fiberoptics on Cyborg Pence’s head for dried milk and landed on his head at the VP Debate. For shame for not giving that fly a star spot in the celebrations! But here at Dlisted, you all have given The Fly the recognition it deserves because it has won the third round in the Hot Slut of the Year semifinals.
The Fly got 37% of the votes and has flown on into the finals. Hot Slut of the Year has now come down to the Sweetheart of the Coronavirus Quarantine, the Sweethearts of The Fashion World, and the Sweetheart of the 2020 Election. Here are the winners of each round:
Round one: Leslie Jordan!
Round two: Chang Wan-ji and Hsu Sho-er!
Round three: The Fly!
Voting is below and the results will be hidden for maximum mystery. 2020’s Hot Slut of the Year will be crowned a week from today, Thursday, January 28!