Category: Hot Slut of the Year

Who Is Our Hot Slut Of 2016? Vote In The Final Round!

January 19, 2017 / Posted by:

Hot Slut of the Year history has been made! This is the first time that a HSOTY grand final has been an all-female showdown. HERstory! And none of them are a dog or a cat. I know, while putting this post together, my face contorted into a giant skin question mark as I looked at that picture and thought, “Hmm, it doesn’t look like any of them communicate through meows or barks only.” I didn’t think an animal-free HSOTY final was possible. But it is!

Anti-Trump warrior princess Ana Navarro won Round 3 and so she’s now in the grand finals with whiskey-drinking, nap-loving legend Flossie Dickey and Not The One empress Bernice Starnes. I’ve written about these three HS angels many, many times, but if you need a refresher about what led them to HS victory, click here for one on the late Ms. Dickey, here for Ms. Starnes and here for Ms. Navarro.

Voting is below. The Queen of Dlisted will be crowned on Friday, January 27. If you plan to pray to your God for guidance on who to vote for, I’ll save you some trouble. Your God will say to you, “You should’ve voted for Joan Collins last January, so I don’t have any advice for you at this time.” Happy voting!


Pics: FOX 28, PIX11, Instagram

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Who Is Hot Slut Of 2016? Vote In Round Three!

January 16, 2017 / Posted by:

Congratulations to the legendary Not The One hero of the Bronx Bernice Starnes for winning Round Two of the Hot Slut of the Year showdown! Bernice will go on to the grand finals  where she’ll battle it out against fellow fuck-deficient jewel, the late Flossie Dickey, and the winner of Round Three.

In my cold medicine-induced haze, I totally jacked up the order in Round Two, so the winning HSOTM from July, Joyce Beatty, is in this round instead. Don’t yell at me for screwing up! Yell at Alka-Seltzer Severe Sinus Congestion & Cough for not stating on the box that you should not take it if you need to put together an extremely important contest on the internet. It’s their fault. Now let’s move on to who will face off with the President of Petty Joyce Beatty in this round.

JulyRep. Joyce Beatty, the U.S. representative for Ohio’s 3rd congressional district who masterfully trolled Melania Trump at the Democratic National Convention when she wore the exact same dress that Melania wore to the Republican National Convention. If Joyce Beatty goes to the inauguration, I hope she keeps the trolling going by wearing head-to-toe yellow.

October Ana Navarro, the anti-Trump warrior who regularly slayed tricks during the election (and after too) and won my heart several times, but really won it when she screamed “PUSSY” on CNN. If Ana goes to DC for the inauguration, I hope she keeps the slaying going over there by wearing head-to-toe yellow or this.

NovemberBoston, the seriously talented Boxer who shut down the Mannequin Challenge by doing it a trillion times better than anyone else. In unexpectedly awful news, Boston died not too long ago after getting hit by a car. So Boston is now in heaven, beating the angels in the Mannequin Challenge. (Although, for his sake, I hope the Mannequin Challenge is only a thing that happens on earth and in hell.)

DecemberMcDonald’s McAss cup, the holiday cup from McDonald’s that was supposed to be two mittens but instantly became a pair of spread ass cheeks (aka the official emblem of Dlisted) when you drew hands on it.

Voting is the below. The winner of Round Three will be announced on Thursday and we’ll FINALLY go on to the Final Round. I know your voting finger is worn out like you just had a hot night with Kanye, but hold on a little longer. It’s almost over.


Pic: Getty, Instagram, @Ryan_Thomas02, @SamSykesSwears

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Who Is Hot Slut Of 2016? Vote In Round Two!

January 12, 2017 / Posted by:

Congratulations to the late great Flossie Dickey for easily winning Round One of the Hot Slut of 2016 semi-finals. The nap and whiskey-loving hero of our time got 43% of your votes and will go on to the grand finals. Flossie died in November and so I’m sure she’s in heaven celebrating her victory and by that I mean napping in a giant Jack Daniels bottle. Now on to Round Two!

Round Two is another weird potpourri of hotness that includes (UPDATE: Thank you to everyone who pointed out the fact that I’m brain dead and skipped Miss July, Joyce Beatty. She will be in Round 3. I’m sick, so blame it on the Theraflu. But then again, I’d totally make that dumb mistake while not on Theraflu.)

MayZeus, the Siberian Husky who got his 15 seconds of internet fame when his human filmed him throwing a howling tantrum after he was told to get out of the bathtub. Zeus and that bathtub shall never be parted. When I showed my mom Zeus’ video, she wondered if maybe there’s something under that tub like a dead body and he’s trying to tell his humans that. So yeah, my mom really knows how to push a cute animal video into the darkside.

JuneThe Naked Rebel Sunbather of Russia, the chick who became an overnight naked idol when she continued to bathe her naked body in the sun’s rays even after the jealous biddies in the neighborhood complained and started a petition against her. Whenever I’m feeling down and need some inspiration to keep me going, I think of the naked chick in Russia who puts her bare ass on the windowsill and doesn’t care if those bitches use a slingshot to hit her nalgas with rocks.

AugustPita Taufatofua, the breakout and oiled-up star of the Summer Olympics who won a gold medal for causing a million panty cream geysers when he strut through the Opening Ceremonies with his wet nipples out.

September – Bernice Starnes, the leader of the Not The One Gang’s Bronx chapter who only had sweet words to say about the lady who snatched her purse from her as she sat in her wheelchair in front of her apartment building. Bernice told the local news that she hopes her purse snatcher gets beat up in prison and she became my go-to spiritual advisor when she said, “I’m supposed to feel sorry for that bitch? I don’t!”

Voting is below and the winner of Round Two will be announced on Monday!


Pics: YouTubenews.ngs.ru, Getty, DNAinfo

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Who Is Hot Slut Of 2016? Vote In Round One!

January 9, 2017 / Posted by:

I hope you built up your immune system this weekend by eating plenty of vitamin c (mimosas) and vegetables (Bloody Marys) and exercising (fapping while balancing your laptop on your stomach), because the Hot Slut of the Year showdown extravaganza begins now!

There will be a total of four rounds. The winner of the first three rounds will go onto the final round, which will determine Dlisted’s reigning queen of the year! In the first round we have the winning Hot Slut of the Months from January, February, March and April. Since most of our memories of those days (aka a much more innocent time) have been eaten up by the heinous shit that happened later in the year, you’ll need a refresher. Here’s the 4 battling it out for a spot in the HSOTY final showdown:

JanuaryLudivine, the dog who became an overnight sports star and made people say, “Usain Bolt, who?!“, when she accidentally entered a half-marathon and won 7th place. Ludivine also became my #1 enemy when she beat Joan Collins for the title of Hot Slut of January.

FebruaryFlossie Dickey, the grumpy angel who became a hero to all of us aspiring curmudgeons when was fresh out of fucks to give during a local news interview on her 110th birthday. Flossie only told the local news reporter that she loves long naps and whiskey, straight up. 2016 took all the greats away from us and that includes Flossie Dickey who died in November. She’s now in heaven where she’s sipping whiskey while trying to ignore the annoying angels.

MarchBirdie Sanders, the spotlight-stealing fame whore bird who turned Bernie Sanders into a regular fucking Snow White when it crashed one of his rallies. That bird was one of the few positive bright spots in the endless shit show election, and trick probably flew off to Canada the day after election night.

AprilMargaret Miles, the two-night Jeopardy! champion who had every hipster’s dream haircut and whose idea of a funky good time is knitting and petting cats.

The winner of round one will be announced on Thursday. Unless you have to decide whether to have In-N-Out or Rubio’s for dinner (go with In-N-Out), this will be the most important decision you’ll make today!


Pics: @hamlin_april, YouTube, YouTubeFacebook

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Dlisted’s Hot Slut Of 2015 Is…..

January 22, 2016 / Posted by:

EUGENE BOSTICK!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know, I’m going to be Tori Spelling this month, because I’m going to bounce checks left and right thanks to the fact that I really broke the budget on that picture and those special effects. But it’s worth it and more importantly…..

After nearly 17 million votes (give or take 16,999,9980 votes), Eugene Bostick, Texas’s Patron Saint of Dogs and the leader of the doggy train, has become the first Hot Slut of the Year since 2009. St. Eugene was Hot Slut of the Day on September 24, 2015, he became Hot Slut of the Month on October 12, 2015, and on this historic day he has been crowned our new Hot Slut King. Eugene was up against The DGAF Pussy and Roger the Buff Kangaroo. Here’s how the votes went:

The DGAF Pussy – 31.94%
Roger The Buff Kangaroo – 26.37%
Eugene Bostick – 41.69%

Eugene now joins Bai Ling, Harvey Price (It was the early days of Dlisted, okay?), Phoebe Price, Spaghetti Cat and STAINS in the HSOTY Hall of Fame. Take your victory lap, Eugene!

Thanks to everyone who voted and thanks to everyone who dropped a HSOTD idea into my inbox last year. Till next year when Eugene Bostick passes off the crown to Joan Collins!

Pic: Bob Booth/Forth Worth Star-Telegram

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Who Is Hot Slut Of 2015: Final Round!

January 15, 2016 / Posted by:

And finally, the moment that EVERYONE has been waiting for. It’s time to vote for the first Hot Slut of the Year since STAINS took the crown in 2009. STAINS most likely traded that busted crown in for a half-eaten stale cupcake (it’s all he could get for it) so the new winner will get the fanciest Photoshopped crown I can buy for cheap from a stock photo agency. Only the best for our first HSOTY in years!

Eugene Bostick, Texas’ Patron Saint of Abandoned Dogs won round 3 and has moved on to the final round with The DGAF Pussy and Roger the Buff Kangaroo. It all comes down to the gold-hearted leader of a dog train, a bro kangaroo who almost puts The Rock to shame and a fuck deficient pussy who won’t bother finding one fuck to give if he wins. Actually, none of them will care. The DGAF Pussy won’t care, because he doesn’t care about anything. Roger the Buff Kangaroo won’t care, because kangaroos can’t read blog posts. And Eugene Bostick won’t care, because he’s busy doing the lord’s work. But we’ll care!

Voting is below. I hid the results so that the winner will be a major dramatic surprise. No, I’m not going to fix it. If I was going to do that, I’d just make Phoebe Price “Hot Babe of the Year” again. Our new Hot Slut ruler will be announced in an opulent crowning ceremony (read: a short post with a janky Photoshopped picture) next Friday.


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