Category: Hot Slut of the Month

Who Is October’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

November 3, 2017 / Posted by:

The theme of our 10th Hot Slut of the Month contest is BONERS. One finalist is an “r” away from being named Mr. Boners, other finalists induced boners with their hot sexy pose game, another finalist got a boner in his mega touching wedding photo and our last finalist made it possible for tricks to easily send boner pictures through the Internet. And yes, I reached so hard for that “boner” theme that I think I broke every brone in my arm.

As always, the first three HSOTM finalists got the most Facebook likes, and the fourth one was picked by me. Your choices are:

Mr. Bones Puzzle Candy, the Halloween staple that was a highly advanced puzzle (so advanced that Tom Hanks’ Da Vinci Code character couldn’t even solve it), delicious candy and a coffin clutch!

The Hot Librarians of Invercargill, the social media team of Invercargill City Libraries in New Zealand who let the world know with one picture that we shouldn’t be keeping up with the Kartrashians, we should be keeping up with the Invercargill librarians!

The Most Romantic Newlyweds in the World, the newly wedded couple from the Netherlands who staged a fake beej for their wedding pictures, because they wanted to display romance at its purest. And also because it would probably be the last blowjob (fake or real) she’d ever give him again since they’re married now.

AIM’s Running Man Icon, the legendary running man who represented an important vanguard program that made it possible for us to avoid in-person human interaction for decades!

Voting is below. The winning HSOTM will be announced next Friday.


Pics: Reddit, FacebookMichael Kooster/Facebook, AOL

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Jane Fonda’s Emmys Ponytail Is The Hot Slut Of August/September!

October 27, 2017 / Posted by:

The clip-on Barbie hair ponytail that was Jane Fonda’s special date to the Emmys last month not only destroyed hos on the red carpet, but it’s also destroyed its competition in August/September’s Hot Slut of the Month battle. Before Jane Fonda’s clip-on ponytail earned itself a prime spot at the Museum of Enduring Beauty in Malaysia (which is probably where that ponytail hair came from), it easily whipped down its HSOTM rivals. Jane’s ponytail got 52% of your votes, easily beating Angelyne (23%), Taco Bell’s Firecracker Burrito (13%) and Lily Charles (12%). It will now go on to the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals in January.

Thanks to everyone who voted. If you’ve got a HSOTD that you don’t think I’ve done before, drop it into my inbox.

And here’s the now award-winning clip-on ponytail’s owner working a perfect Miss Marple look while speaking at an ROC event in NYC on Tuesday.

Pics: Wenn.com

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Who Is Hot Slut Of August/September?

October 20, 2017 / Posted by:

Before we get into it, I’d like to apologize to the trifecta of glamour (Angelyne, Lily Charles and Jane Fonda’s clip-on ponytail) for clumping them in with that picture of what looks like a freshly creampied prolapsed anus. Blame the sucios who Facebook-liked it.

Because of my mega dramatic retina saga, I had to step back from the site in the middle of August, and so Hot Slut of the Day took a break for a few weeks. Since there was a lack of HSOTDs for August and September, I’ve combined both of those months to pull the finalists for our 8th Hot Slut of the Month showdown of 2017. It’s down to three visions of beauty, and a burrito that probably looks the same going out as it does going in. Like always, the first HSOTM finalists got the most Facebook likes, and the fourth is a wild card picked by me. My 7-year-old self forced me to pick Jane Fonda’s ponytail weave. If I had access to a stunning ponytail weave like that when I was 7, I wouldn’t have had to wear a sad pantyhose wig while playing dress up with my mom’s clothes. Your choices are:

Angelyne, who really needs zero introduction!

Lily Charles, the one-eyed former synchronized swimming star played by Swoosie Kurtz on Pushing Daisies!

Taco Bell’s Firecracker Burrito, the abomination from the Ninth Circle’s cafeteria whose sole mission is to make your asshole explode!

Jane Fonda’s ponytail weave, the breakout glamour star of the Emmys (and 2017, so far)!

Voting is below. The winning HSOTM will be crowned next Friday.


Pics: Wenn.com, ABC, YouTube via Eater

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July’s Hot Slut Of The Month Is…..

August 11, 2017 / Posted by:

The spectacular diving board brows that snatched away every spotlight from Jabba the Trump during his press conference on healthcare!

When July’s Hot Slut of the Month showdown started, I prayed to the Hot Slut gods to make it a tie between the show-stealing bug antenna brows of my dreams and the First Lady of Japan. It was close for a quick second, but in the end, the title went to the perfect pair of long division brows that every math teacher should paint on their faces if they want their students to take them seriously as an authority on arithmetic. If Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting was a chola, not only would he be a zillion times more interesting, but he’d have brows like that.

Last month, the gorgeous garden hoe brows on the face of an “Obamacare victim” became the only good thing that Jabba the Trump has ever given. As he caca’d at the mouth about healthcare, those brows caught the attention of every pair of eyes watching. And this month, those same stunning brows earned the most votes from you hos and is now our reigning Hot Slut of the Month. The brows that perfectly expressed our feelings about Trump got 36% of the votes, beating out the first lady of my heart, Akie Abe (31%), Elishaly D’witshes (21%) and the Air Peddling Husky (12%). If we don’t get nuked to Jesus by January (Side note: those brows will survive the nuclear war and live forever), those brows will battle it out in the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals. And now let’s all raise a fine point Sharpie and salute our new HSOTM!

Thanks to everyone who voted!

Pic: YouTube/Dreamstime

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Who Is July’s Hot Slut Of The Month? 

August 4, 2017 / Posted by:

Those lazy whores in Congress are taking a vacation and have pressed paused on voting for shit, but here at Dlisted, democracy doesn’t take a holiday and we must continue to vote on the issues that truly, truly matter in this world. Like which one of July’s Hot Sluts should take the Hot Slut of the Month crown and scrap and wrestle with the other HSOTMs for the title of Hot Slut of 2017!

July’s HSOTM battle royale is a real international competition (not really) with Hot Sluts from Canada, Japan, SharpieVille and South Beach. As always, the first three HSOTM finalists got the most Facebook likes by you and the fourth one was picked by me. Your choices for July are:

The air peddling husky puppy from Toronto who became a king to those of us who like to look like we’re helping out but are actually doing dick.

Akie Abe, the First Lady of Japan who became a hero to everyone when she (probably) pretended to know zero English just so she wouldn’t have to share words with Jabba the Trump.

The exquisite crowbar eyebrows that easily stole the spotlight from Jabba the Trump’s press conference on healthcare and temporarily healed my woes.

Elishaly D’witshes, the drag queen acrobat from South Beach who caused a 69.0 earthquake in hell when she dropped from a double decker bus and landed tuck first on the sidewalk.

Voting is below. July’s winning Hot Slut of the Month will be announced next Friday!


Pics: Instagram, Wenn.com, ABC News, Facebook

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June’s Hot Slut Of The Month Is….

July 17, 2017 / Posted by:

Nikos Giannopoulos!

Clariol’s True-To-Light Makeup Mirror has shattered into a million pieces. Man Bun Ken’s man bun has unraveled. And my current favorite auto-tuned chanteuse, Sarah Dunne, has melted into a puddle of rejection and woe and is at a loss for words. It’s all because they got their asses beat hard in June’s Hot Slut of the Month showdown by Nikos Giannopoulos, the Rhode Island teacher of the year who brought some refreshing gayness and glamour to a White House that’s about as gay as a Miller Lite stain on a Nascar shirt and didn’t acknowledge Pride Month.

Nikos got a whopping 64% of your votes, and far behind in second was Clariol’s True-To-Light Makeup Mirror with 19%. In third was Man Bun Ken with 14%, and in last was Sarah Dunne with 3%. Nikos fanned away the competition and will now go on to the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals in January.

Thanks to everyone who voted. And if you’ve got a HSOTD idea that you don’t think I’ve ever done, stick the tip in my inbox.

Pic: Facebook

 

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