Category: Hot Slut of the Month

The Tutu-Wearing Ice Crasher From The Winter Olympics Is February’s Hot Slut Of The Month!

March 9, 2018 / Posted by:

It’s still early, but the Hot Slut of 2018 battle is turning out to be the most glamorous once since Spaghetti Cat, Rojo Caliente and La Pequeña’ battled it out in 2009. The redefined definition of judicial glamour Judge Rosemarie Aquilina easily snatched up January’s Hot Slut of the Crown, and joining her in the HSOTM royal court is the princess cut pink tutu-wearing diamond who twirled into our hearts when he crashed the ice during a men’s speed skating event at the Winter Olympics in PyeongChang.

Mark Roberts, the prolific event crasher who caused clits to do a triple axle with glee over his monkey face dick pouch, won 50% of your votes. He beat Prince’s 2007 Super Bowl Halftime Show (29%), The Pizza Vibrator (13%) and Olive Garden’s Meatball Pizza Bowl (8%).

That delicate pink rose and his freshly-bloomed pedals have now twirled on into the Hot Slut of 2018 semi-finals next year. And I end this post with a clip from the 2006 Winter Olympics in Turin, Italy of our current reigning HSOTM bringing non-FDA approved raw sex to a curling event by crashing that bitch and choking his chicken.

Thanks to all who voted!

Pic: AP


Who Is February’s Hot Slut Of The Month? 

March 2, 2018 / Posted by:

It seems like nothing is going to stop the glamour-fied Lady Justice that is Judge Rosemarie Aquilina from winning Hot Slut of 2018, but one of these Hot Sluts will try to stop her from taking the crown that will inevitably be placed on her White Rain-encrusted coif of perfection. February’s Hot Slut of the Month showdown is a perfect mix of HSOTDs. You definitely want to hump one of them (see: bottom right) to the fuck music of a genius (see: bottom left), and afterward you can use the sex toy you used on each other (see: top right) to order a Pizza Bowl (see: top left).

The first three HSOTDs in this HSOTM battle got the most Facebook likes for the month. The last one is a wildcard picked by me, and how could I say no to a peaceful ice princess ballerina in a monkey face dick pouch? Your choices are:

Olive Garden’s Meatball Pizza Bowl!

The vibrator you can use to order pizza after doing yourself!

Prince’s 2007 Super Bowl Halftime Show (aka the one we all cleansed ourselves with after watching Justin Timberlake’s dreadfulness)!

The bearded winter swan who spread love and beauty after the men’s 1,000-meter speed skating event at the Winter Olympics!

Voting will end next Friday, and that’s when we’ll all bow down to our new HSOTM victor!

Pic: Pizza Hut, CamSoda Labs, YouTube, Getty


January’s Hot Slut Of The Month Is….

February 9, 2018 / Posted by:

It wasn’t even close. Judge Rosemarie Aquilina bulldozed through her Hot Slut of the Month competition like a rage-filled father bulldozing through court room bailiffs to take down a nugget of dried pedophile smegma.

Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, who won hearts everywhere when she spit at prolific pedo Larry Nassar during his sentencing and told him she was signing his death warrant, is January’s HSOTM. Judge Aquilina got 56% of the votes, easily beating Patti LuPone (17%), Oprah’s Third Hand (14%) and The Founding Fathers and Mothers of Booze Island (13%).

There was talk of Judge Aquilina (which is the perfect last name because it sounds like AquaNet’s brand of liquid eyeliner) running for State Supreme Court in Michigan, but she decided not to and gave this reason why:

“It’s just not the time for me to go campaigning all across Michigan when I have so many responsibilities at home.”

I think what she meant by that is that she knew she was easily going to win January’s HSOTM on Dlisted and wants to spend her time and energy trying to take the ultimate title of Hot Slut of the Year.

Thanks to everyone who voted and thanks to Judge Aquilina for being the badass pedo-destroying we all need during these times.

Pic: YouTube


Who Is Our First Hot Slut Of The Month Of 2018?

February 5, 2018 / Posted by:

It’s been less than a week since Winona Ryder’s Many Faces got to bask in the whory glory of winning the illustrious title of Hot Slut of the Year, and we’re already starting the long journey to find their successor. Can’t we just let a Hot Slut champion have their time in the shine for a long second? “No, please don’t, I want people to forget that my many faces were tarnished that that title.” – Winona Ryder

For January’s HSOTM contest, we’ve got a hero with brows of perfection, a diva legend, booze legends and the secret third hand of a living deity. Like always, the first three finalists got the most Facebook likes for the month, and the fourth choice was picked by me. I went with Oprah’s Third Hand, because when she reveals that she’s a modern day Shiva and the rest of her hands sprout out as she takes over the world, she may have mercy on me for honoring one of her hands. Your choices are:

Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, the badass pedo-fighting avenger judge who happily locked away ex-Team USA Gymnastics doctor and pedophile Larry Nassar for the rest of his life, and did it while working a face slathered in several layers of glamour.

Patti LuPone, who really should’ve gotten HSOTD status decades ago, but got it in January for shaking everyone awake at the Grammys with the two-ton powerful musical notes blowing out of her diva mouth.

The Founding Fathers and Mothers of Booze Island, who came up with a genius way to avoid the alcohol ban on New Zealand’s North Island by building their own island off the coast in “international waters.” If CBS’ next season of Survivor took place on Booze Island, I’d be the first mess to apply.

Oprah’s Third Hand, the third hand of The Mighty O that made its public debut in Vanity Fair.

Vote with your first, second or third hand below. The winning HSOTM will be announced on Friday!

Pics: @NBCNightlyNews, CBS, David Saunders/Facebook, Annie Leibovitz/Vanity Fair


Robin Roberts Is 2017’s Final Hot Slut Of The Month!

January 5, 2018 / Posted by:

Robin Roberts has co-anchored Good Morning America for over 10 years, is a Peabody Award winner, graduated cum laude (yes, since my brain runs on gutter water I pronounce that as “cum loudah“) from Southeastern Louisiana University and was inducted into the Women’s Basketball Hall of Fame for her contributions to the sport, but I’m sure she’d tell you that her greatest professional achievement in life is being named Hot Slut of the Month on some low-level busted down dirty condom of a blog.

Robin Roberts is our final Hot Slut of the Month Queen of 2017 and she did it by winning 43% of your votes. She easily beat out The Drunk Trespassing Opossum (26%), Rhoda Young (20%) and The Gayest Cake (11%). Robin will go on to battle the 11 other Hot Slut of the Months in the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals next week.

In the meantime, let’s all remember why you all bestowed Robin with this honor of honors. A “Bye, Felicia” to Omarosa and the three HSOTM finalists who ate her dust.

Thanks to all who voted!



Who Is December’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

January 3, 2018 / Posted by:

I don’t know how I made it out of 2017 alive (SPOILER ALERT: I made it out alive thanks to weed, weed, the promise of seeing Prince Hot Ginge in a prince uniform on his wedding day, and more weed), but I know exactly how I got through December. I got through it by powering my life bars on the hotness wafting off of the gayest cake in the land, the drunk opossum, Robin Roberts throwing a dig at Omarosa and the investigative journalism brilliance of Rhoda Young!

It’s the final Hot Slut of the Month contest of 2017, which means we’re close to crowning the new reigning Queen of Dlisted (aka the Hot Slut of 2017). Like every damn month, the first three finalists fighting for the HSOTM title (“Um, how can we fight when none of us want it?” – all four HSOTM finalists) got the most Facebook likes and the last one was picked by me. Your choices are:

The sugary gay extravaganza that a baker in Canada whipped up for a couple who requested the gayest cake ever. For those of you haters throwing a, “that’s the gayest cake ever?” look, you try to find a cake mold of Liberace riding a unicorn.

The drunk opossum in Florida who did her state proud by breaking into a liquor store and getting plastered on booze she didn’t pay for.

Robin Roberts, the highly-esteemed journalist (and that was served without a milliounce of sarcasm) who brought Bye Felicia back from the dead and used it to drag Omarosa.

Rhoda Young, the citizen reporter in Virginia who did the jobs of Murphy Brown and Jessica Fletcher at the same time by reporting on and solving an arson case.

Because I really want to get to the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals, this HSOTM contest is going to be quicker than the dorm room sex between Forrest Gump and Jenny. The winner will be announced on Friday.

Pic: Facebook, Facebook, ABC News, Facebook


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