Category: Hot Slut of the Month

Who Is May’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

June 8, 2018 / Posted by:

Usually a Hot Slut of the Month showdown is between four Hot Slut of the Days, but May was chock-full of so many scorching hot HSOTDs that you’ve got five to choose from this time around. The theme of May’s HSOTM battle royale is *~FaShUn~* and *~AcShUn~*. We’ve got a fashion disaster, a fashion icon, a flying pussy, my favorite Fast and Furious character who never was, and a Louis Vuitton devotee who was willing to die for his bag.

As always, the first three finalists got the most Facebook likes for the month. The fourth finalist is a wild card picked by me. Since I couldn’t choose between the manicurist turned action star and the crazy mess who is ride-or-die for LV, I picked two for May. Your choices are:

Balenciaga’s $1,290+ double dad shirt, which is the perfect thing to buy if you want to look like an ugly mess while letting the world know that you got bored with burning all the extra money you have and decided to waste it on overpriced ridiculous clothes.

Frances McDormand’s Met Gala ensemble, which would be the theme of next year’s Met Gala if Anna Wintour knew high fashion at all.

The Badass Flying Pussy, who wins every video game battle they encounter, and should really star in Crouching Pussy, Hidden Dragon.

The Not The One Nail Salon Worker, who became a trunk ornament and refused to lose out on money when a customer walked out of the salon without paying up.

Jerad Kluting, the label whore who’d rather end up six feet under than let go of his one true soulmate: his Louis Vuitton bag.

Voting is below. Miss Hot Slut of May 2018 will be crowned next Friday!


Pics: Balenciaga, Wenn.com, YouTube, YouTube, Instagram

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Karamel The Two-Wheeled Squirrel Is April’s Hot Slut Of The Month!

May 11, 2018 / Posted by:

I guess when you’re a squirrel and you’ve got two wheels for arms, you zoom past every bitch and leave them eating your dust and squirrel farts. Because Karamel, the speed racing squirrel of Turkey, easily won the title of Hot Slut of April 2018.

Jackson Parodi and his clit seizure-triggering mane, accordion skills and his happy trail weren’t magnificent enough to take down Karamel. He got 8% of the votes. Hugo: Man of a Thousand Faces might be made of 1% plastic and 99% pure nightmares, but he wasn’t scary enough to spook all of you into voting for him. He got 6% of the votes. The Mary River Turtle came the closest to taking Karamel down, but even its enviable ability to breathe through its genitals were no match for Karamel’s wheels. It got 23% of the votes.

Karamel got 63% of the votes and she’ll go on to the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals.

If you haven’t heard about Karamel’s story, then please educate yourself by watching this video from The Dodo showing her journey from wild squirrel to the most technically complex and greatest Transformers character that ever was.

Thanks to all who voted!

Pic: Instagram

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Who Is April’s Hot Slut Of The Month? 

May 4, 2018 / Posted by:

Here at Dlisted, April was definitely the wettest month. Panty pudding geysers were released after watching musical stallion Jackson Parodi tickle the ivories of an accordion. Tears of happiness streamed down faces while reading the happy story of Karamel the squirrel who got two front wheels after losing his arms to an animal trap. Blood spewed out of eyes at the sight of bald-headed nightmare monster Hugo. And we all drooled out a river of jealousy over learning that the Mary River Turtle can breathe through its genitals.

Like every damn month, the first three finalists in April’s Hot Slut of the Month contest got the most Facebook likes. The fourth one is a wild card picked by me. Your choices are:

Jackson Parodi, the YouTuber who is responsible for thousands of keyboards getting ruined after they were sprayed with crotch fluids from people orgasming while watching him play the Nokia ringtone on an accordion in nothing but a black Speedo and nerd glasses.

Karamel, the squirrel from Turkey who became the baddest bitch on two wheels when orthopedists hooked him up after he lost his arms in an animal trap.

Hugo: The Man Of A Thousand Faces, the terrifying puppet toy from the 70s who is probably standing behind you right now. Don’t look.

The Mary River Turtle, the endangered turtle from Queensland, Australia, who is the envy of everyone because it can beautifully pull off a green mohawk and can spend the rest of its days giving itself head since it can breathe through its genitals.

The fourth Hot Slut of the Month will be announced next Friday!


Pics: YouTube, YouTube, Dirty Horror, Kat Von D, Chris Van Wyk/Flickr/Zoological Society Of London

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Dog The Fish-Selling Pussy Is March’s Hot Slut Of The Month!

April 13, 2018 / Posted by:

There was a time when the animal kingdom constantly took a seat on the Hot Slut of the Month throne. But then less and less furry asses sat down on the throne (the tutu-wearing Olympics crasher doesn’t count). The last animal to win HSOTM was the plushie-loving seal in February 2017. And the last cat to win HSOTM was in February 2015! The pussy drought is finally over. Dog, the fish vendor cat from Vietnam, is our new HSOTM! Dlisted is finally back in the good graces of pussmanity again. We may be spared when cats finally take over the world, and please tell me that’s happening like right now.

Dog took the title by getting 35% of your votes. Behind Dog is stunning Russian block of Top Ramen Valentina Petrenko (25%), the cop wagon-saving Drag Queen Elsa of Boston (22%), and Adam Rippon’s Oscar harness (18%).

Dog will move on to the Hot Slut of 2018 semi-finals, and could possibly become the first pussy since Spaghetti Cat to take the HSOTY tiara. But the HSOTY 2018 showdown is a million years away, and hopefully when the time comes to vote, cats will have taken over and command us to vote for Dog.

Thanks to all who voted!

Pic: Lê Quốc Phong

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Who Is March’s Hot Slut Of The Month? 

April 6, 2018 / Posted by:

The theme of March’s Hot Slut of the Month showdown can be summed up with one word: GLAMOOOOOOUR!

Drag Queen Elsa brought the icy glamour (and sex, see that tingle-inducing screen shot) while saving a cop wagon in Boston. Dog the Scottish Fold regularly brings the glamour in his Lennon glasses while selling fish to the people in Vietnam. Adam Rippon brought the dressed-up leather twink glamour at the Oscars. And last but not even close to being least, SpongeBob’s Russian human second cousin always slathers Russia with electrocuted Brillo pad glamour.

Like always, this month’s contest to find our new Hot Slut of the Month is made up of the three Hot Slut of the Days who got the most Facebook likes. The fourth one is a wild card picked by me. Your choices for March are:

Drag Queen Elsa, the Boston bro in Elsa from Frozen drag who beautifully sang out, “Let it goooooo,” to a bunch of snow that was holding a cop wagon hostage.

Dog, the Scottish Fold pussy who sells fish and other stuff at a market in Vietnam, and does it in fashion-forward ensembles that French Vogue will copy for months to come.

Adam Rippon’s Oscar harness, which he wore to the Oscars after making the 100% right decision to dress like a twink-ified James Bond on his way to a gay sex party.

Valentina Petrenko, the Russian federation senator who knocked over the internet with her fried hair wall of secrets (and Russian bots).

The winner of March’s glamour-off (and Hot Slut of the Month contest) will be announced next Friday!


Pics: Facebook, Facebook, Wenn.com, AP

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The Tutu-Wearing Ice Crasher From The Winter Olympics Is February’s Hot Slut Of The Month!

March 9, 2018 / Posted by:

It’s still early, but the Hot Slut of 2018 battle is turning out to be the most glamorous once since Spaghetti Cat, Rojo Caliente and La Pequeña’ battled it out in 2009. The redefined definition of judicial glamour Judge Rosemarie Aquilina easily snatched up January’s Hot Slut of the Crown, and joining her in the HSOTM royal court is the princess cut pink tutu-wearing diamond who twirled into our hearts when he crashed the ice during a men’s speed skating event at the Winter Olympics in PyeongChang.

Mark Roberts, the prolific event crasher who caused clits to do a triple axle with glee over his monkey face dick pouch, won 50% of your votes. He beat Prince’s 2007 Super Bowl Halftime Show (29%), The Pizza Vibrator (13%) and Olive Garden’s Meatball Pizza Bowl (8%).

That delicate pink rose and his freshly-bloomed pedals have now twirled on into the Hot Slut of 2018 semi-finals next year. And I end this post with a clip from the 2006 Winter Olympics in Turin, Italy of our current reigning HSOTM bringing non-FDA approved raw sex to a curling event by crashing that bitch and choking his chicken.

Thanks to all who voted!

Pic: AP

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