Category: Hot Slut of the Month

January’s Hot Slut Of The Month Is….

February 9, 2018 / Posted by:

It wasn’t even close. Judge Rosemarie Aquilina bulldozed through her Hot Slut of the Month competition like a rage-filled father bulldozing through court room bailiffs to take down a nugget of dried pedophile smegma.

Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, who won hearts everywhere when she spit at prolific pedo Larry Nassar during his sentencing and told him she was signing his death warrant, is January’s HSOTM. Judge Aquilina got 56% of the votes, easily beating Patti LuPone (17%), Oprah’s Third Hand (14%) and The Founding Fathers and Mothers of Booze Island (13%).

There was talk of Judge Aquilina (which is the perfect last name because it sounds like AquaNet’s brand of liquid eyeliner) running for State Supreme Court in Michigan, but she decided not to and gave this reason why:

“It’s just not the time for me to go campaigning all across Michigan when I have so many responsibilities at home.”

I think what she meant by that is that she knew she was easily going to win January’s HSOTM on Dlisted and wants to spend her time and energy trying to take the ultimate title of Hot Slut of the Year.

Thanks to everyone who voted and thanks to Judge Aquilina for being the badass pedo-destroying we all need during these times.

Pic: YouTube


Who Is Our First Hot Slut Of The Month Of 2018?

February 5, 2018 / Posted by:

It’s been less than a week since Winona Ryder’s Many Faces got to bask in the whory glory of winning the illustrious title of Hot Slut of the Year, and we’re already starting the long journey to find their successor. Can’t we just let a Hot Slut champion have their time in the shine for a long second? “No, please don’t, I want people to forget that my many faces were tarnished that that title.” – Winona Ryder

For January’s HSOTM contest, we’ve got a hero with brows of perfection, a diva legend, booze legends and the secret third hand of a living deity. Like always, the first three finalists got the most Facebook likes for the month, and the fourth choice was picked by me. I went with Oprah’s Third Hand, because when she reveals that she’s a modern day Shiva and the rest of her hands sprout out as she takes over the world, she may have mercy on me for honoring one of her hands. Your choices are:

Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, the badass pedo-fighting avenger judge who happily locked away ex-Team USA Gymnastics doctor and pedophile Larry Nassar for the rest of his life, and did it while working a face slathered in several layers of glamour.

Patti LuPone, who really should’ve gotten HSOTD status decades ago, but got it in January for shaking everyone awake at the Grammys with the two-ton powerful musical notes blowing out of her diva mouth.

The Founding Fathers and Mothers of Booze Island, who came up with a genius way to avoid the alcohol ban on New Zealand’s North Island by building their own island off the coast in “international waters.” If CBS’ next season of Survivor took place on Booze Island, I’d be the first mess to apply.

Oprah’s Third Hand, the third hand of The Mighty O that made its public debut in Vanity Fair.

Vote with your first, second or third hand below. The winning HSOTM will be announced on Friday!

Pics: @NBCNightlyNews, CBS, David Saunders/Facebook, Annie Leibovitz/Vanity Fair


Robin Roberts Is 2017’s Final Hot Slut Of The Month!

January 5, 2018 / Posted by:

Robin Roberts has co-anchored Good Morning America for over 10 years, is a Peabody Award winner, graduated cum laude (yes, since my brain runs on gutter water I pronounce that as “cum loudah“) from Southeastern Louisiana University and was inducted into the Women’s Basketball Hall of Fame for her contributions to the sport, but I’m sure she’d tell you that her greatest professional achievement in life is being named Hot Slut of the Month on some low-level busted down dirty condom of a blog.

Robin Roberts is our final Hot Slut of the Month Queen of 2017 and she did it by winning 43% of your votes. She easily beat out The Drunk Trespassing Opossum (26%), Rhoda Young (20%) and The Gayest Cake (11%). Robin will go on to battle the 11 other Hot Slut of the Months in the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals next week.

In the meantime, let’s all remember why you all bestowed Robin with this honor of honors. A “Bye, Felicia” to Omarosa and the three HSOTM finalists who ate her dust.

Thanks to all who voted!



Who Is December’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

January 3, 2018 / Posted by:

I don’t know how I made it out of 2017 alive (SPOILER ALERT: I made it out alive thanks to weed, weed, the promise of seeing Prince Hot Ginge in a prince uniform on his wedding day, and more weed), but I know exactly how I got through December. I got through it by powering my life bars on the hotness wafting off of the gayest cake in the land, the drunk opossum, Robin Roberts throwing a dig at Omarosa and the investigative journalism brilliance of Rhoda Young!

It’s the final Hot Slut of the Month contest of 2017, which means we’re close to crowning the new reigning Queen of Dlisted (aka the Hot Slut of 2017). Like every damn month, the first three finalists fighting for the HSOTM title (“Um, how can we fight when none of us want it?” – all four HSOTM finalists) got the most Facebook likes and the last one was picked by me. Your choices are:

The sugary gay extravaganza that a baker in Canada whipped up for a couple who requested the gayest cake ever. For those of you haters throwing a, “that’s the gayest cake ever?” look, you try to find a cake mold of Liberace riding a unicorn.

The drunk opossum in Florida who did her state proud by breaking into a liquor store and getting plastered on booze she didn’t pay for.

Robin Roberts, the highly-esteemed journalist (and that was served without a milliounce of sarcasm) who brought Bye Felicia back from the dead and used it to drag Omarosa.

Rhoda Young, the citizen reporter in Virginia who did the jobs of Murphy Brown and Jessica Fletcher at the same time by reporting on and solving an arson case.

Because I really want to get to the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals, this HSOTM contest is going to be quicker than the dorm room sex between Forrest Gump and Jenny. The winner will be announced on Friday.

Pic: Facebook, Facebook, ABC News, Facebook


Who Is November’s Hot Slut Of The Month? 

December 1, 2017 / Posted by:

We’re just two Hot Slut of the Months away from the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals and finding out who our reigning HSOTY, Ana Navarro, will pass the crown, which looks like this, to. I don’t look forward to much these days, but I do look forward to making a Photoshop Award-worthy masterpiece of our Hot Slut of the Year in a stock photo crown. Now on to November’s choices!

For November, we’ve got a symbol of gay marriage in Australia, a cinematic icon, the gayest dance ever danced and my current favorite artist/photographer (who seems to be looking up at that gay couple and is so happy that they can get married now). The first three got the most Facebook likes for the month and the last one is a wild card picked out by me. Your choices are:

Luke and George, the Australian couple who gave us a double serving of Say YAAAAASSS To The Dress while celebrating the passing of marriage equality in Australia.

The bloody armadillo cake from Steel Magnolias that was baked up by Aunt Fern (played by the late Ann Wedgeworth) and also gave one of the best performances in the history of cinema.

The mega gay dance that Derek Paul swirled out at anti-gay rally, which managed to achieve the impossible: it actually made me gayer, and that’s always a good thing.

Kimiko Nishimoto, the 89-year-old artiste from Japan who has made her country and us disciples of fuckery proud with her weird self-portraits.

Voting is below. The winning HSOTM will be named next Friday!

Pics: @tom_cowie, TriStar, YouTube, Kimiko Nishimoto/Epson/Bored Panda


The Librarians of Invercargill Are October’s Hot Slut Of The Month!

November 10, 2017 / Posted by:

I may not have been to a library in centuries since every book I’m interested in reading (aka the ones by Jackie Collins) I already own and libraries tend to be zones of prudeshness where they ban sex education films (aka porn sites) from their computers, but that doesn’t mean I can’t honor librarians. Last month, the social media team of the Invercargill Libraries in New Zealand killed the Kartrashians by bringing more life, sex and charisma to their pose game than those trash heap heffas could ever dream of. And this month, the social media team of the Invercargill Libraries killed the competition in October’s Hot Slut of the Month contest.

The Hot Librarians of Invercargill won the crown with 40% of your votes, beating The Most Romantic Newlyweds in the World (32%), AIM’s Running Man Icon (16%) and Mr. Bones Puzzle Candy (12%). They will now go on to the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals next year. And hopefully by then, E! would have pulled their heads out of the Kartrashians’ assholes and shook off all the butt silicone from their faces before giving the Invercargill librarians their own $150 million reality show contract since they truly deserve it.

Thanks to everyone who voted!

Pic: Facebook


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