Category: Hot Slut of the Month

Who Is October’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

November 9, 2018 / Posted by:

Since some of you are still tinging at the fingers over voting on Tuesday (and if you’re in Georgia, then your fingers are probably tingling something extra over a possible runoff), so why not put those fingers to use some more by voting in another HIGHLY IMPORTANT election (/sarcasm).

Our 10th Hot Slut of the Month battle royale is filled with nostalgia, and it comes down to three legends from the past, and one current legend (a grifting legend, to be specific). As always, the first three HSOTM finalists got the most Facebook likes for the month, and the fourth was picked by me. I, of course, picked Princess Reyes, because like those people she grifted at McDonald’s, I just can’t say no to an adorable scammer. Your choices for October are:

Five Alive, the citrus punch from the olden-times that was some thirst-quenching meth for the soul.

The Rainbow Flip-Flops from the 70s and 80s, the gay pride parade for your feet that also killed feet.

Keebler Tato Skins, the potato-flavored cardboard discs from the 80s that some people still dream of.

Princess Reyes, the Joanne the Scammer of Oklahoma City who has grifted McDonald’s customers into thinking she’s a stray so they’ll give her a hamburger.

Voting is below. The winning HSOTM will be announced next Friday!


Pics: Reddit, LikeTotally80s, Pinterest, Facebook

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September’s Hot Slut Of The Month Is….

October 12, 2018 / Posted by:

The humans are rising back up on the Hot Slut of the Month scene!

Animals have taken up five of the HSOTM spots this year, and the humans only had three. But that’s changed thanks to Terry Lauerman, who is a beloved friend to the animal kingdom (specifically, pussies), and the angel who fell to earth to cuddle and nap with disabled shelter cats at Safe Haven Pet Sanctuary in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Terry is eighty tons of charm in a t-shirt, and not only has he won over the pussies of Save Haven Pet Sanctuary, he also won over the readers of this mess of a site.

Terry got 55% of the votes in September’s HSOTM battle. Nobody came close to taking him down. The Bread Thief Raccoon of Toronto tried to snatch the victory away from Terry but only got 19% of the votes.  The Ribbed Dick Building Of China tried too, but only ended up with 15%. And the Microsoft Windows Solitaire Deck from the 90s ended up in dead last with 11%.

The Eugene Bostick of catmanity will go on to the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals next year. In the meantime, you can find him being the angelic meat in a pussy sandwich on any given day of the week.

Thanks to all who voted!

Pic: Facebook

Who Is September’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

October 8, 2018 / Posted by:

The Hot Slut of the Month fight between humans and animals rages on! The animal kingdom has won five of this year’s HSOTM titles so far, while the humans have only won three. (Sorry, inanimate objects, but the HSOTM voters obviously hate you, because you haven’t won shit.) This battle-within-a-battle could either get as tight as a virgin gay flea’s clenched asshole or widen like a pass around bottom’s b-hole after an orgy, because there’s a beloved human and a beloved animal in this month’s HSOTM contest.

Like always, the first four finalists got the most Facebook likes for the month. The fourth was picked by me, and of course I had to pick a member of the species that will one day rule us all. Your choices for September are:

Terry Lauerman, the earth angel pepaw who proved that humanity isn’t totally a rotten corn kernel clinging to a shit log by visiting a cat shelter on the daily to nap and cuddle with the pussies.

The Microsoft Windows Solitaire Deck, the digital deck of cards on Microsoft Windows in the 90s that caused families to be torn apart because people shouldn’t could agree on which card cover to make the default.

The Ribbed Dick Building Of China, the glorious white uncut dick that was erected in the province of Guangxi and instantly became a temple in China for us dick worshipers to go, especially since it shot a hot load (aka fireworks) out of its tip during its launch party.

The Bread Thief Raccoon, who along with his friends, broke into a woman’s Toronto apartment and wouldn’t leave until it finished every last crumb of her bread while not giving a milli-ounce of a fuck.

Voting is below. Our new reigning HSOTM champion will be announced this Friday.


Pics: Facebook, Reddit, Shanghaiist, Jenny Serwylo

Who Is August’s Hot Slut Of The Month? 

September 5, 2018 / Posted by:

We’ve got four blurry legends before us, but only one can take August’s Hot (Blurry) Slut of the Month crown!

Will the animal kingdom continue to rule the HSOTM throne or will a human finally break their reign (SPOILER ALERT: Probably not)? For August’s HSOTM battle royale, we’ve got two animals who both should run for political office and we’ve got two humans who should travel with a yellow slippery floor sign because they just ooze potent talent.

As always, the first three HSOTM finalists got the most Facebook likes for the month, and the fourth is a wild card picked by me. Your choices are:

Peacemaker Dog, the dog who should be the head of the United Nations and should win several Nobel Peace Prizes for stopping a pussy fight before it started.

Jessie, the feather-covered pile of charm who told a firefighter trying to save her to fuck off before flying away. Bitch is the anti-damsel in distress and can save herself, thankyouvermuch!

The Padres Game Dance Machine, the lighting bolt of moves in coochie cutters who caused a teen boy (her son?) to fill up to the top with embarrassment at a Padres game.

Mary Halsey, Missy Elliott’s funky white sister who put her thing down, flipped it, and reversed it at a BBQ!

Voting is below. The winning HSOTM will be announced next Wednesday!


Pics: Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Twitter

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Maxdonna Is July’s Hot Slut Of The Month! 

August 17, 2018 / Posted by:

It would’ve been more fitting for Maxdonna to be given the HSOTM tiara, sash and scepter (which yes, looks like this) for August since August is the real Madonna’s birth month, but he’s getting crowned in August, so close enough.

Maxdonna, the rescue pooch from France who set the pussies of the internet on fire by doing Madonna (not like in the Sex book kind of way) on Instagram, is now our reigning Hot Slut of the Month. Maxdonna got 39% of your votes, beating dick-sucking legend Fredy Alanis  (who got 36% of the votes), The Jeff Goldblum Statue (15%), and The Blank Memorex Tape (10%).

Queen Maxdonna is the fifth animal in a row to win HSOTM this year. Dog The Fish-Selling Pussy, Karamel The Two-Wheeled Squirrel, The Badass Flying Pussy, and Officer Poncho are the other ones. The animal kingdom is clinging to the HSOTM title like me clinging to any man who – I was going to add more, but that sentence is factual as is.

Maxdonna celebrated Madonna’s birthday yesterday by announcing on his Instagram that he and his human have raised $12,000 from the sale of his stunning portraits. The money is going to Madge’s charity Raising Malawi. Madonna herself “thanked” Maxdonna for the donation and for showing her up repeatedly by sending him a basket of Snausages that totally weren’t laced with rat poison. No, Madonna approves… until she finds Maxdonna’s act “reductive.”

Thanks to all who voted!

Pic: Instagram

Who Is July’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

August 10, 2018 / Posted by:

Times flies when the world is burning like a flaming hemorrhoid, I guess, because we’re more than halfway through with the year, and you’re all about to make the seventh most important decision you’ve had to make in 2018 (the first being voting for Hot Slut of January, the second being voting for Hot Slut of February, etc… etc..)! As always, the first three HSOTM finalists got the most Facebook likes from the people, and the fourth was picked by me, because in addition to being just a freak, I’m a control freak too. Here’s your choices for July:

The blank Memorex tape from the 80s and 90s, the Rolls Royce of blank tapes that you only saved for special mix tapes for your crush. If you’ve got a box of Memorex mix tapes in a shoebox in your garage, then I’m throwing a jealous face at you since you were obviously a highly in-demand slut in school.

Fredy Alanis, the 19-year-old who ended up in the hospital with a busted up breathing tunnel after taking on a giant 10-inch dick. Fredy will probably never get to try to deepthroat a super burrito dick again (because dudes don’t want to get sued) but at least he has a beautiful story to tell his grandchildren.

The Jeff Goldblum Statue, the metal Jeff Goldblum that was erected in London for the 25th anniversary of Jurassic Park, and has probably been removed by the public health department after it was covered with several layers of cooch cream.

Maxdonna, the rescue dog from France who showed Lady Gaga how to really do a good Madonna impersonation.

Voting is below. Dlisted’s Miss July will be crowned next Friday!


Pics: Pinterest, @ELECTRIC_PAPI,Wenn.com, Instagram

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