Category: Hot Slut of the Month

Officer Poncho Is June’s Hot Slut Of The Month!

July 17, 2018 / Posted by:

The animal kingdom’s reign over the Hot Slut of the Month crown hasn’t let up. Sorry, humans and non-living things, but those animal friends’ furry grasp on the HSOTM title is much too strong for your weak asses to take. For the fourth month in a row, creatures who are too good for this destroyed-by-humans world have beat the other Hot Sluts.

Dog The Fish-Selling Pussy won Miss Hot Slut of March, Karamel The Two-Wheeled Squirrel won Miss Hot Slut of April, The Badass Flying Pussy won Miss Hot Slut of May, and now Officer Poncho has won Hot Slut of June. The life-saving cop puppy from Spain, who caused us all to fill with the awwws from watching his impeccable CPR skills, is now our reigning HSOTM thanks to getting 34% of the votes. Officer Poncho took out Mark Kanemura (28%), The Canadian Bonnie Parker (also 28%), and Veronica Recinos (10%). Officer Poncho killed the competition, but because he’s devoted to a career in life-saving, he brought them back to life by giving them CPR. A saint and a hero.

If you want to relive one of the only good things to happen in this world this year, here you go:

Thanks to all who voted! And if you’ve ever got a HSOTD idea you don’t think I’ve done, lube it up and toss it in michaelk@dlisted.com.

Pic: YouTube 

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Who Is June’s Hot Slut Of The Month? 

July 11, 2018 / Posted by:

June was Pride Month, so if you don’t vote for one of the two burgeoning gay icons in this Hot Slut of the Month showdown, you’re a homophobic piece of trash and may a rainbow never appear before your ugly gay-hating eyes again. Just kidding, everyone in June’s HSOTM contest is a burgeoning gay icon from the wigged blossom of wonder to the puppy who got to pound on a hot Spanish cop to the white Canadian Tandi Iman Depree to gay Twitter hero Veronica Recinos. And yes, “burgeoning” was on my word of the day app. And yes, when you say it out loud it sounds like the phrase you use while getting fucked by Tom Bergeron.

As always, the first three HSOTM finalists got the most Facebook likes for the month. The fourth was picked by me. Your choices for June are:

Mark Kanemura, the human wig dispenser who splatters rainbow glitter onto the eyes of his Instagram followers by busting out a one-man Carly Rae Jepsen-backed Pride Parade float.

Officer Poncho, the police dog from Madrid who killed people with his cuteness and then brought them back to life with his impeccable and next-level CPR skills.

The Canadian Bonnie Parker, the alleged criminal from Alberta who became an overnight internet star after twirling out a ballet de buffoonery move when she fall out of the ceiling of a convenience store while trying to get away from the cops.

Veronica Recinos, the Los Angeles-area realtor who doesn’t only sells houses but also sells theatrical drama in YouTube videos where she lets you know that she’s going to show YOU how to be a homeowner.

Voting is below. The winning HSOTM will be crowned this Monday!


Pics: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, YouTube

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The Badass Flying Pussy Is May’s Hot Slut Of The Month!

June 15, 2018 / Posted by:

Pussymanity is back to ruling the Hot Slut of the Month game AND HOW!

There was pussy dry period for a bit where cats never won the Hot Slut of the Month title, but that’s changed. First, Dog The Fish-Selling Pussy won Hot Slut of March, and now the high-flying video game cat has won Hot Slut of May. The cat who became an instant viral superstar by busting out some hot “Bernardo in West Side Story” ballet moves soared its way to victory by getting 36% of the votes. It beat The Not The One Nail Salon Worker (31%), Frances McDormand’s Met Gala Look (19%), Jerad Kluting (9%), and Balenciaga’s Double Dad Shirt (5%).

The Badass Flying Pussy will go on to try to get a perfect KO by taking down its Hot Slut of the Month rivals in the Hot Slut of the Year semifinals in January.

And now I leave you with the video that made our current reigning Hot Slut of the Month a star. There’s no follow-up about this cat yet, but I’m guessing pussy’s deciding whether to accept an offer as Jackie Chan’s stunt double or a principal dancer with the Joffrey Ballet.

Thanks to all who voted!

Pic: YouTube

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Who Is May’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

June 8, 2018 / Posted by:

Usually a Hot Slut of the Month showdown is between four Hot Slut of the Days, but May was chock-full of so many scorching hot HSOTDs that you’ve got five to choose from this time around. The theme of May’s HSOTM battle royale is *~FaShUn~* and *~AcShUn~*. We’ve got a fashion disaster, a fashion icon, a flying pussy, my favorite Fast and Furious character who never was, and a Louis Vuitton devotee who was willing to die for his bag.

As always, the first three finalists got the most Facebook likes for the month. The fourth finalist is a wild card picked by me. Since I couldn’t choose between the manicurist turned action star and the crazy mess who is ride-or-die for LV, I picked two for May. Your choices are:

Balenciaga’s $1,290+ double dad shirt, which is the perfect thing to buy if you want to look like an ugly mess while letting the world know that you got bored with burning all the extra money you have and decided to waste it on overpriced ridiculous clothes.

Frances McDormand’s Met Gala ensemble, which would be the theme of next year’s Met Gala if Anna Wintour knew high fashion at all.

The Badass Flying Pussy, who wins every video game battle they encounter, and should really star in Crouching Pussy, Hidden Dragon.

The Not The One Nail Salon Worker, who became a trunk ornament and refused to lose out on money when a customer walked out of the salon without paying up.

Jerad Kluting, the label whore who’d rather end up six feet under than let go of his one true soulmate: his Louis Vuitton bag.

Voting is below. Miss Hot Slut of May 2018 will be crowned next Friday!


Pics: Balenciaga, Wenn.com, YouTube, YouTube, Instagram

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Karamel The Two-Wheeled Squirrel Is April’s Hot Slut Of The Month!

May 11, 2018 / Posted by:

I guess when you’re a squirrel and you’ve got two wheels for arms, you zoom past every bitch and leave them eating your dust and squirrel farts. Because Karamel, the speed racing squirrel of Turkey, easily won the title of Hot Slut of April 2018.

Jackson Parodi and his clit seizure-triggering mane, accordion skills and his happy trail weren’t magnificent enough to take down Karamel. He got 8% of the votes. Hugo: Man of a Thousand Faces might be made of 1% plastic and 99% pure nightmares, but he wasn’t scary enough to spook all of you into voting for him. He got 6% of the votes. The Mary River Turtle came the closest to taking Karamel down, but even its enviable ability to breathe through its genitals were no match for Karamel’s wheels. It got 23% of the votes.

Karamel got 63% of the votes and she’ll go on to the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals.

If you haven’t heard about Karamel’s story, then please educate yourself by watching this video from The Dodo showing her journey from wild squirrel to the most technically complex and greatest Transformers character that ever was.

Thanks to all who voted!

Pic: Instagram

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Who Is April’s Hot Slut Of The Month? 

May 4, 2018 / Posted by:

Here at Dlisted, April was definitely the wettest month. Panty pudding geysers were released after watching musical stallion Jackson Parodi tickle the ivories of an accordion. Tears of happiness streamed down faces while reading the happy story of Karamel the squirrel who got two front wheels after losing his arms to an animal trap. Blood spewed out of eyes at the sight of bald-headed nightmare monster Hugo. And we all drooled out a river of jealousy over learning that the Mary River Turtle can breathe through its genitals.

Like every damn month, the first three finalists in April’s Hot Slut of the Month contest got the most Facebook likes. The fourth one is a wild card picked by me. Your choices are:

Jackson Parodi, the YouTuber who is responsible for thousands of keyboards getting ruined after they were sprayed with crotch fluids from people orgasming while watching him play the Nokia ringtone on an accordion in nothing but a black Speedo and nerd glasses.

Karamel, the squirrel from Turkey who became the baddest bitch on two wheels when orthopedists hooked him up after he lost his arms in an animal trap.

Hugo: The Man Of A Thousand Faces, the terrifying puppet toy from the 70s who is probably standing behind you right now. Don’t look.

The Mary River Turtle, the endangered turtle from Queensland, Australia, who is the envy of everyone because it can beautifully pull off a green mohawk and can spend the rest of its days giving itself head since it can breathe through its genitals.

The fourth Hot Slut of the Month will be announced next Friday!


Pics: YouTube, YouTube, Dirty Horror, Kat Von D, Chris Van Wyk/Flickr/Zoological Society Of London

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