Category: Hot Slut of the Month

Dog The Fish-Selling Pussy Is March’s Hot Slut Of The Month!

April 13, 2018 / Posted by:

There was a time when the animal kingdom constantly took a seat on the Hot Slut of the Month throne. But then less and less furry asses sat down on the throne (the tutu-wearing Olympics crasher doesn’t count). The last animal to win HSOTM was the plushie-loving seal in February 2017. And the last cat to win HSOTM was in February 2015! The pussy drought is finally over. Dog, the fish vendor cat from Vietnam, is our new HSOTM! Dlisted is finally back in the good graces of pussmanity again. We may be spared when cats finally take over the world, and please tell me that’s happening like right now.

Dog took the title by getting 35% of your votes. Behind Dog is stunning Russian block of Top Ramen Valentina Petrenko (25%), the cop wagon-saving Drag Queen Elsa of Boston (22%), and Adam Rippon’s Oscar harness (18%).

Dog will move on to the Hot Slut of 2018 semi-finals, and could possibly become the first pussy since Spaghetti Cat to take the HSOTY tiara. But the HSOTY 2018 showdown is a million years away, and hopefully when the time comes to vote, cats will have taken over and command us to vote for Dog.

Thanks to all who voted!

Pic: Lê Quốc Phong

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Who Is March’s Hot Slut Of The Month? 

April 6, 2018 / Posted by:

The theme of March’s Hot Slut of the Month showdown can be summed up with one word: GLAMOOOOOOUR!

Drag Queen Elsa brought the icy glamour (and sex, see that tingle-inducing screen shot) while saving a cop wagon in Boston. Dog the Scottish Fold regularly brings the glamour in his Lennon glasses while selling fish to the people in Vietnam. Adam Rippon brought the dressed-up leather twink glamour at the Oscars. And last but not even close to being least, SpongeBob’s Russian human second cousin always slathers Russia with electrocuted Brillo pad glamour.

Like always, this month’s contest to find our new Hot Slut of the Month is made up of the three Hot Slut of the Days who got the most Facebook likes. The fourth one is a wild card picked by me. Your choices for March are:

Drag Queen Elsa, the Boston bro in Elsa from Frozen drag who beautifully sang out, “Let it goooooo,” to a bunch of snow that was holding a cop wagon hostage.

Dog, the Scottish Fold pussy who sells fish and other stuff at a market in Vietnam, and does it in fashion-forward ensembles that French Vogue will copy for months to come.

Adam Rippon’s Oscar harness, which he wore to the Oscars after making the 100% right decision to dress like a twink-ified James Bond on his way to a gay sex party.

Valentina Petrenko, the Russian federation senator who knocked over the internet with her fried hair wall of secrets (and Russian bots).

The winner of March’s glamour-off (and Hot Slut of the Month contest) will be announced next Friday!


Pics: Facebook, Facebook, Wenn.com, AP

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The Tutu-Wearing Ice Crasher From The Winter Olympics Is February’s Hot Slut Of The Month!

March 9, 2018 / Posted by:

It’s still early, but the Hot Slut of 2018 battle is turning out to be the most glamorous once since Spaghetti Cat, Rojo Caliente and La Pequeña’ battled it out in 2009. The redefined definition of judicial glamour Judge Rosemarie Aquilina easily snatched up January’s Hot Slut of the Crown, and joining her in the HSOTM royal court is the princess cut pink tutu-wearing diamond who twirled into our hearts when he crashed the ice during a men’s speed skating event at the Winter Olympics in PyeongChang.

Mark Roberts, the prolific event crasher who caused clits to do a triple axle with glee over his monkey face dick pouch, won 50% of your votes. He beat Prince’s 2007 Super Bowl Halftime Show (29%), The Pizza Vibrator (13%) and Olive Garden’s Meatball Pizza Bowl (8%).

That delicate pink rose and his freshly-bloomed pedals have now twirled on into the Hot Slut of 2018 semi-finals next year. And I end this post with a clip from the 2006 Winter Olympics in Turin, Italy of our current reigning HSOTM bringing non-FDA approved raw sex to a curling event by crashing that bitch and choking his chicken.

Thanks to all who voted!

Pic: AP

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Who Is February’s Hot Slut Of The Month? 

March 2, 2018 / Posted by:

It seems like nothing is going to stop the glamour-fied Lady Justice that is Judge Rosemarie Aquilina from winning Hot Slut of 2018, but one of these Hot Sluts will try to stop her from taking the crown that will inevitably be placed on her White Rain-encrusted coif of perfection. February’s Hot Slut of the Month showdown is a perfect mix of HSOTDs. You definitely want to hump one of them (see: bottom right) to the fuck music of a genius (see: bottom left), and afterward you can use the sex toy you used on each other (see: top right) to order a Pizza Bowl (see: top left).

The first three HSOTDs in this HSOTM battle got the most Facebook likes for the month. The last one is a wildcard picked by me, and how could I say no to a peaceful ice princess ballerina in a monkey face dick pouch? Your choices are:

Olive Garden’s Meatball Pizza Bowl!

The vibrator you can use to order pizza after doing yourself!

Prince’s 2007 Super Bowl Halftime Show (aka the one we all cleansed ourselves with after watching Justin Timberlake’s dreadfulness)!

The bearded winter swan who spread love and beauty after the men’s 1,000-meter speed skating event at the Winter Olympics!

Voting will end next Friday, and that’s when we’ll all bow down to our new HSOTM victor!


Pic: Pizza Hut, CamSoda Labs, YouTube, Getty

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January’s Hot Slut Of The Month Is….

February 9, 2018 / Posted by:

It wasn’t even close. Judge Rosemarie Aquilina bulldozed through her Hot Slut of the Month competition like a rage-filled father bulldozing through court room bailiffs to take down a nugget of dried pedophile smegma.

Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, who won hearts everywhere when she spit at prolific pedo Larry Nassar during his sentencing and told him she was signing his death warrant, is January’s HSOTM. Judge Aquilina got 56% of the votes, easily beating Patti LuPone (17%), Oprah’s Third Hand (14%) and The Founding Fathers and Mothers of Booze Island (13%).

There was talk of Judge Aquilina (which is the perfect last name because it sounds like AquaNet’s brand of liquid eyeliner) running for State Supreme Court in Michigan, but she decided not to and gave this reason why:

“It’s just not the time for me to go campaigning all across Michigan when I have so many responsibilities at home.”

I think what she meant by that is that she knew she was easily going to win January’s HSOTM on Dlisted and wants to spend her time and energy trying to take the ultimate title of Hot Slut of the Year.

Thanks to everyone who voted and thanks to Judge Aquilina for being the badass pedo-destroying we all need during these times.

Pic: YouTube

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Who Is Our First Hot Slut Of The Month Of 2018?

February 5, 2018 / Posted by:

It’s been less than a week since Winona Ryder’s Many Faces got to bask in the whory glory of winning the illustrious title of Hot Slut of the Year, and we’re already starting the long journey to find their successor. Can’t we just let a Hot Slut champion have their time in the shine for a long second? “No, please don’t, I want people to forget that my many faces were tarnished that that title.” – Winona Ryder

For January’s HSOTM contest, we’ve got a hero with brows of perfection, a diva legend, booze legends and the secret third hand of a living deity. Like always, the first three finalists got the most Facebook likes for the month, and the fourth choice was picked by me. I went with Oprah’s Third Hand, because when she reveals that she’s a modern day Shiva and the rest of her hands sprout out as she takes over the world, she may have mercy on me for honoring one of her hands. Your choices are:

Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, the badass pedo-fighting avenger judge who happily locked away ex-Team USA Gymnastics doctor and pedophile Larry Nassar for the rest of his life, and did it while working a face slathered in several layers of glamour.

Patti LuPone, who really should’ve gotten HSOTD status decades ago, but got it in January for shaking everyone awake at the Grammys with the two-ton powerful musical notes blowing out of her diva mouth.

The Founding Fathers and Mothers of Booze Island, who came up with a genius way to avoid the alcohol ban on New Zealand’s North Island by building their own island off the coast in “international waters.” If CBS’ next season of Survivor took place on Booze Island, I’d be the first mess to apply.

Oprah’s Third Hand, the third hand of The Mighty O that made its public debut in Vanity Fair.

Vote with your first, second or third hand below. The winning HSOTM will be announced on Friday!


Pics: @NBCNightlyNews, CBS, David Saunders/Facebook, Annie Leibovitz/Vanity Fair

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