Category: Hot Slut of the Month

July’s Hot Slut Of The Month Is…..

August 11, 2017 / Posted by:

The spectacular diving board brows that snatched away every spotlight from Jabba the Trump during his press conference on healthcare!

When July’s Hot Slut of the Month showdown started, I prayed to the Hot Slut gods to make it a tie between the show-stealing bug antenna brows of my dreams and the First Lady of Japan. It was close for a quick second, but in the end, the title went to the perfect pair of long division brows that every math teacher should paint on their faces if they want their students to take them seriously as an authority on arithmetic. If Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting was a chola, not only would he be a zillion times more interesting, but he’d have brows like that.

Last month, the gorgeous garden hoe brows on the face of an “Obamacare victim” became the only good thing that Jabba the Trump has ever given. As he caca’d at the mouth about healthcare, those brows caught the attention of every pair of eyes watching. And this month, those same stunning brows earned the most votes from you hos and is now our reigning Hot Slut of the Month. The brows that perfectly expressed our feelings about Trump got 36% of the votes, beating out the first lady of my heart, Akie Abe (31%), Elishaly D’witshes (21%) and the Air Peddling Husky (12%). If we don’t get nuked to Jesus by January (Side note: those brows will survive the nuclear war and live forever), those brows will battle it out in the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals. And now let’s all raise a fine point Sharpie and salute our new HSOTM!

Thanks to everyone who voted!

Pic: YouTube/Dreamstime

SHARE

Who Is July’s Hot Slut Of The Month? 

August 4, 2017 / Posted by:

Those lazy whores in Congress are taking a vacation and have pressed paused on voting for shit, but here at Dlisted, democracy doesn’t take a holiday and we must continue to vote on the issues that truly, truly matter in this world. Like which one of July’s Hot Sluts should take the Hot Slut of the Month crown and scrap and wrestle with the other HSOTMs for the title of Hot Slut of 2017!

July’s HSOTM battle royale is a real international competition (not really) with Hot Sluts from Canada, Japan, SharpieVille and South Beach. As always, the first three HSOTM finalists got the most Facebook likes by you and the fourth one was picked by me. Your choices for July are:

The air peddling husky puppy from Toronto who became a king to those of us who like to look like we’re helping out but are actually doing dick.

Akie Abe, the First Lady of Japan who became a hero to everyone when she (probably) pretended to know zero English just so she wouldn’t have to share words with Jabba the Trump.

The exquisite crowbar eyebrows that easily stole the spotlight from Jabba the Trump’s press conference on healthcare and temporarily healed my woes.

Elishaly D’witshes, the drag queen acrobat from South Beach who caused a 69.0 earthquake in hell when she dropped from a double decker bus and landed tuck first on the sidewalk.

Voting is below. July’s winning Hot Slut of the Month will be announced next Friday!


Pics: Instagram, Wenn.com, ABC News, Facebook

SHARE

June’s Hot Slut Of The Month Is….

July 17, 2017 / Posted by:

Nikos Giannopoulos!

Clariol’s True-To-Light Makeup Mirror has shattered into a million pieces. Man Bun Ken’s man bun has unraveled. And my current favorite auto-tuned chanteuse, Sarah Dunne, has melted into a puddle of rejection and woe and is at a loss for words. It’s all because they got their asses beat hard in June’s Hot Slut of the Month showdown by Nikos Giannopoulos, the Rhode Island teacher of the year who brought some refreshing gayness and glamour to a White House that’s about as gay as a Miller Lite stain on a Nascar shirt and didn’t acknowledge Pride Month.

Nikos got a whopping 64% of your votes, and far behind in second was Clariol’s True-To-Light Makeup Mirror with 19%. In third was Man Bun Ken with 14%, and in last was Sarah Dunne with 3%. Nikos fanned away the competition and will now go on to the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals in January.

Thanks to everyone who voted. And if you’ve got a HSOTD idea that you don’t think I’ve ever done, stick the tip in my inbox.

Pic: Facebook

 

SHARE

Who Is June’s Hot Slut Of The Month? 

July 11, 2017 / Posted by:

I am taking a break from planning my Thelma and Louise-like road trip with my sister (but instead of killing rapists and fucking early-90s Brad Pitt I’ll be guzzling down canned wine while playing travel Scrabble with her in a room at a Super 8) to ask you to vote in Dlisted’s sixth Hot Slut of the Month pageant of the year. We’re over halfway through with 2017, and that’s crazy, but I guess it’s true what they say: time flies when you’re snorting whole Xanax pills, mainlining red wine and soothing your nerves by playing with your fidget spinner butt plug after watching the news or reading twitter. But before the world completely burns down, let’s crown June’s HSOTM, because I will curse everything and everyone if my laptop gets nuked before I can announce June’s HSOTM champion.

Continue reading

SHARE

Anderson Cooper’s Eye Roll Is May’s Hot Slut Of The Month! 

June 9, 2017 / Posted by:

Winona Ryder’s Facial Expressions are no longer the lone facial expressions who will compete for the illustrious title of Hot Slut of 2018 next year. You know, one of my cousins said a while ago that she doesn’t read Dlisted because it’s too weird for her. I didn’t know what the hell she was talking about until I finished typing that first sentence.

It wasn’t even a competition. Anderson Cooper’s Eye Roll easily rolled away from its Hot Slut of the Month rivals and took the title. Anderson Cooper’s Eye Roll got 65% of your votes, easily beating The Mets Dildo (18%), Slavko Kalezić (9%) and Billina from Return To Oz (8%). ACER will go on to the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals in January.

And now, let’s relieve the moment when The Silver Fox (or The Sexist Fox as Kellyanne Conway probably calls him) could no longer stay in “serious journalist” mode and took his eyeballs on a journey to GirlPleaseTown when she hit him with some sarcasm.

Thanks to everyone who voted!

Pic: CNN

SHARE

Who Is May’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

June 2, 2017 / Posted by:

It’s that time for April’s Hot Slut of the Month grand champion Chroma Key Grandma to pass the crown to either a curved dildo, Anderson Cooper’s eye roll, a talking chicken or a gay yodeling Montenegrin. A curved dildo, Anderson Cooper’s eye roll, a talking chicken and a gay yodeling Montenegrin sound like the main characters in the weirdest, most fucked-up sex dream ever. Actually, I take that back. I once had a sex dream with Bill O’Reilly and it was definitely more fucked-up and brain-scarring than a sex dream with those four. But let’s move on…

May’s HSOTM showdown is between the second best member of the Mets (after Mr. Met, of course), the eye roll we all felt, an 80s icon and a Montenegrin legend. As always, the first three HSOTM finalists got the most Facebook likes for the month and the fourth finalist was picked by me. Your choices for are:

The Mets dildo – Usually when you hear about a big dildo making an appearance in the locker room of a New York baseball team, you think to yourself, “It was nice of Alex Rodriguez to visit his old Yankees teammates.” But an actual dildo made an appearance in a Twitter picture taken in the Mets locker room and it became the star of the night.

Anderson Cooper’s eye roll – After months and months of successfully fighting the urge to bust out an eye roll over some dumb shit that Kellyanne Conway said, The Silver Fox couldn’t fight it anymore and eye rolled for us all after she said some dumb shit.

Billina – The talking chicken from Return of Oz who showed up Toto and became Dorothy’s most useful pet when she saved the day.

Slavko Kalezić – The pucker-inducing chanteuse from Montenegro who used his clip-on ponytail of glamour to whip his way into the hearts of the people and become the true winner of Eurovision in my eyes.

Voting is below. May’s Hot Slut of the Month winner will be announced next Friday!


Pics: @Mets, CNN, Walt Disney Company, Instagram

SHARE

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >