Category: Hot Slut of the Day

Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 9, 2017 / Posted by:

Yesterday, many of us asked the question, “Er, does this mean I don’t have to pay my credit card bills anymore?”, after hearing that the barbecued pigs in a blanket fingers of a certain mutated pizza bubble overlord are hovering dangerously close to the nuclear button. (SPOILER ALERT: We still have to pay our credit cards bills. If the world was completely destroyed and you found yourself being the last living human on earth and sitting on a pile of rubble, a roach would skedaddle up to you, holding a credit card bill with a late payment on it. Capital One doesn’t even sleep for the apocalypse.) So because two melting pumpkin-headed man brats have decided to play a game of Risk: Nuclear Edition and people are talking nuclear war, I must hurry and fulfill my promise of making everyone from the 80s sitcom jewel It’s A Living a HSOTD. Priorities: I always got them.

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Hot Sluts Of The Day! 

August 8, 2017 / Posted by:

The surfing dogs of California who brought the sighs and full body eye rolls out of a BBC News anchor!

Today is International Cat Day, so yeah, after I hit the publish button on this post, I’m going to need to enter the Witness Protection (From Pussy) Program for making dogs Hot Sluts of the Day on this most important and holiest of holidays. But the risk of getting viciously and tortuously murdered by a bunch of vengeful pussies (or getting stared down by a bunch of vengeful pussies until I cry and beg for my mommy) is worth it, because I must pay tribute to a bunch of surfing dogs who annoyed a serious news journalist.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 7, 2017 / Posted by:

The magical and ethereal floating pearl necklace from the 90s!

In the 90s, nothing at a prom could make the DJ (or the class secretary working a Boombox) stop the music and make the kids press pause on dry humping on each other on the dance floor like someone walking into the room while wearing a stunning and enchanting necklace that completely defied the laws of gravity! The floating pearl necklace made the wearer look like a gorgeous fairy princess who had a stream of flawless precious orbs floating on her chest. It totally didn’t look like what it was, which was a bunch of shiny white plastic balls strung together with fishing wire. Not at all!

Floatings necklaces are made with other precious jewels, but the pearl one is the most classic and timeless one. The floating pearl necklace may look like something a fairy prince would bestow upon you after he fell in love with you at first sight when you saved him from the warlocks, but bitch, you could get one at Claire’s. I haven’t seen someone wear a floating pearl necklace out in public in a while, and that depresses me and makes me miss the olden days when people still cared about classic and timeless style. The 90s were the days when a trick proudly went out in public looking like a bunch of fairy dudes busted several magic nuts all over her chest. Those were the days of true classic and elegant style.

Pic: Pinterest

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 6, 2017 / Posted by:

The enema penguin from Japan!

Oh, Japan, continues to be a wonderful wonderland of pure and potent foolery where if you get the hard shits from eating fried chicken covered with girl singer sweat sauce, you can relieve your bowels by sticking a happy pink penguin up your culo. RocketNews24 says that last week, Ichijiku Pharmaceutical Company debuted a new mascot, which people dealing with constipation can really get behind, because that’s a big ole’ happy enema. That mascot is a wet dream come true for Plushies with an enema fetish.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 5, 2017 / Posted by:

Diesel Minnie™!

Finally, an Instagram model who deserves all of the shine and followers he’s getting. Diesel Minnie is very well-respected Instagram THOT (That Hound Over There) who is considered a “canine influencer” (cut to my dog rolling his eyes at that the same way I roll my eyes at “social media influencer”) and is the face of a luxurious line of fancy shit for dogs called World of Angus. In a video that’s been making the rounds, Diesel Minnie, which sounds like the name of a roller derby star, showed his forty five thousand followers how he relaxes his shredded nerves in a lavish dog spa (aka the guest bathroom sink) after a long of day of napping, barking, sniffing asses, barking, napping, barking, modeling, barking and napping and barking some more. He’s a Yorkie, barking is their oxygen.

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