Category: Hot Slut of the Day

Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 10, 2017 / Posted by:

Rhoda Young, the volunteer news reporter that should have EVERY single network on the planet throwing multi-million dollar deals at her!

Rhoda Young has been an amateur news reporter in the Norfolk, Virginia area for a minute and she regularly uses Facebook Live to tell the people what’s going on, but on November 27, she went pro and became a star in a big way when she and her husband rolled up on a house fire. Rhoda put the following people out of jobs: local news reporters (because she showed up to the scene first), the fire chief (because she told the firefighters what to do), the cops (because she directed traffic) and detectives (because she solved the whole damn case). Rhoda is Murphy Brown and Jessica Fletcher, and she does it all with so much fire that the flames shooting off of that house got jealous of her.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 9, 2017 / Posted by:

Parts of Southern California continue to be an ashy post-apocalyptic land of sadness, and the rest of the country is continuing its transformation into an over-filled musical festival Porta Potty, but leave it to a serious journalist like myself to bring you truly important news! I bring you a 27 second video of a duck speed-eating a bowl of peas in water. This highly riveting video came out on November 22, so I’m sure TIME Magazine is firing several editors for not discovering this game-changing duck in time to name it their #2 Person of the Year (ducks are people too, okay?).

The video, which has almost 500,000 views and shook Reddit to its core,  starts with a person putting down a bowl of peas and water soup for a duck. Then that duck scarfs that shit up as thought it was a Wall Street stock trader’s nose and those peas were lines of coke spread out on his desk right before the office holiday party. This duck IS the Joey Chestnut of ducks.

The truth is, I’m not that impressed since I eat faster whenever the server at El Torito puts down a thing of tortilla chips while my friend is in the bathroom. But I am impressed with whoever produced and directed this riveting piece, because they turned it into a two-parter by cutting it off right before we find out if that duck finished the bowl of peas completely. Cliffhanger! RIP to my fingers, because I’m going to work the hell out of them as I furiously refresh that YouTube channel while waiting for the teaser trailer to the trailer to the sequel to Duck Eating Peas.

Pic: YouTube

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The Armadillo Cake From “Steel Magnolias” Is November’s Hot Slut Of The Month!

December 8, 2017 / Posted by:

Steel Magnolias the movie was released on November 15, 1989. And it took only 28 years and 23 days for one of its biggest stars, the Bloody Armadillo Cake, to get the shine it deserves! It may have wrongly missed out on a Best Supporting WhateverSexThatArmadilloWas Oscar, but now it’s the winner of a much more prastigadious award! (For some reason my keyboard won’t let me type p-r-e-s-t-i-g-i-o-u-s when referencing the Hot Slut of the Month title.)

November’s Hot Slut of the Month showdown was close. This morning, the Mega Gay Dance Done At An Anti-Gay Event was ahead by a few votes, but the Bloody Armadillo Cake managed to move into first place and take the crown. It got 27.24% percent of your votes, barely beating the Mega Gay Dance (27.24%), Kimiko Nishimoto (24%) and Luke and George (21.48%).

The Bloody Armadillo Cake is now our 11th Hot Slut of the Month of 2017 and it will go on to represent itself (and its creator Aunt Fern played by the late Ann Wedgeworth) at the prastigadious Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals.

Thanks to everyone who voted!

Pic: TriStar/YouTube

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 8, 2017 / Posted by:

Lola, the littlest goat herder of Maine!

If the only info you got about Chihuahuas was the shit I write about my own Chihuahua in posts, then you probably think that all Chihuahuas are fluffy sacks of lazy whose only form of exercise is working out their vocal cords by barking at absolutely everything. Your view of Chihuahuas is 100% right! But some Chihuahuas find time to do other things besides napping and barking. Like Lola! Lola is a Chihuahua from Maine who helps to herd the family’s Nigerian Dwarf goats even though a goat could easily take her ass out with a swift kick.

Lola’s humans run Sunflower Farm Creamery in Cumberland, ME and they posted a video of their goat herding queen in action. Lola’s “goat herding skills” look a lot like the overexcited moves I do whenever an actual, living, breathing man talks to me at a bar. Marvel at Lola getting those tricks in check as they think, “Bahahahahaha, that trick really thinks she’s getting us in check.

Lola’s humans say in the description of the video that she’s not full Chihuahua. She’s a Chihuahua/Yorkie/Maltese mix. Now I’m not saying that Lola’s humans are lying, but I am saying that I’m going to need to see her 23andMe results. Because if she really was a mixture of some of the yappiest of dog breeds, those goats’s ears would’ve fallen off from her non-stop barking months ago.

Pic: YouTube

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 7, 2017 / Posted by:

The California wildfire hero who gave everyone the swoons by saving a bunny from fiery death!

The world is on fire (and I mean that literally when it comes to parts of my homeland) and everything’s gone to shit. But amongst the awful news of people losing everything, and horses burning to death (don’t make me link to that soul-flattening news), there are stories that can make even the most deadest and coldest of hearts feel warmness. Case in point: This video from RMG News of a hero in basketball shorts saving a bunny rabbit from becoming barbecue.

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