Category: Hot Slut of the Day

Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 14, 2018 / Posted by:

Fredy Alanis, the 19-year-old who ended up in the hospital after literally choking on a dick.

Young Fredy here lived his own episode of Sex Sent Me To The ER back in January when a Hidenburg-sized dick busted up his airways and put him in the hospital. Now, if an extra long watermelon dick caused me to have to pull out my insurance card at the hospital, I wouldn’t tell anyone what had happened. I’d pull some “Oh, doctor, I accidentally sat on that Carlo Rossi jug of wine after moisturizing my asshole with Crisco” shit by telling the doctors that I got a little too excited while drinking a 40. Because my reputation as an old used-up slut would be ruined if people knew I couldn’t take a colossal cock to the froat, but Fredy broadcast it to the world when he tweeted about it on July 5. That tweet led to Fredy telling the site them about how his airway was done in by a big dick.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 12, 2018 / Posted by:

Cherie Trieffel, the drag queen who brought glamour and drama to the “If anyone objects to this union..” portion of a wedding!

The wedding ceremony itself is usually the time when I sleep with my eyes open as a way of preparing my body and soul for all the boozing and cake-eating I’ll have to do to get through talking to my relatives and dancing to shitty songs at the reception. When you’ve seen one wedding reception, you’ve seen one too many, because they’re boring! But not the wedding ceremony of The Peters (aka Peter McConnachie and Peter Deaville) at Saint Luke’s church in Glasgow, Scotland.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 11, 2018 / Posted by:

The My Little Pony Merry-Go-Round Game!

One of the main reasons for why the 1980s is the greatest decade in the history of time (Note: If you disagree, please go to Phoenix.edu and enroll in Get A Fucking Clue 101, because you obviously need more education) is that it gave us gloriously gay objects of pure gayness. Everything involving the world of My Little Pony falls under that, especially this My Little Pony Merry-Go-Round game from 1985.

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Hot Slut Of The Day! 

July 10, 2018 / Posted by:

Lisio, the fame whore ginger pussy who crashed his human’s very serious interview about a very serious topic!

You already knew this, but guess what, this is a cat’s world and they’re letting us run it into the ground (which we’re doing an A+++ job of) so that they can take over. But before that happens (and it can’t happen soon enough), they’re still going to roam the land like they own this bitch 100%. Case in point: The Washington Post says that Polish historian Jerzy Targalski was doing an interview from his home with Dutch public television station Nieuwsuur about “the controversial forced removal of Polish top judge Malgorzata Gersdorf” by the country’s conservative party. Never mind that Poland is stealing America’s move, Jerzy’s ginger puss stole his interview right out from under him by being a cat. That iconic BBC News-crashing kid taught that cat well!

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 9, 2018 / Posted by:

Pocket Locker!

This is a depressing and tragic post for a Monday morning, and if Dlisted’s budget wasn’t worth a used-during-ass-sex condom and a broken Juicero, I’d send all of you a Xanax via drone. Prepare to be filled to the top with the sads over this sentence: girls today use iPhones or Androids or whatever to keep track of shit instead of a Pocket Locker. I know, what has become of this world?

For a minute in the 1990s, Sharp sold a Palm Pilot-like thing that was marketed toward girls and it was an organizer that kept track of birthdays, telephone numbers, important appointments (don’t laugh, bitch, every appointment to a tween is important) and their inner most secrets. This is how Sharp described that too-technologically-advanced-for-the-90s life saver:

You can’t control your hair and certainly can’t control your parental units. But you can control your life – with Pocket Locker! The new electronic Teen Organizer from Sharp. If you’ve got a life, get this!

I never got that, because I don’t have a life now and I certainly didn’t have a life then.

How sad! I mean, nowadays teen girls are running around with uncontrollable hair looking a mess and it’s all because they don’t have a Pocket Locker. Sharp, please bring the Pocket Locker back, so that teen girls can get their hair in check again. Follicles are depending on it!

Pic: Mom.me

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