Category: Hot Slut of the Day

Hot Sluts Of The Day!

May 12, 2018 / Posted by:

The geese who are either the baddest bitches alive or the dumbest bitches alive. Or a little of both!

A strange thing happened on a Florida golf course last Sunday. A shifty bitch with beady eyes and skin in dire need of a good moisturizer was chased down by an angry mob, and surprisingly, it wasn’t Donald Trump being chased down by contractors he stiffed. A dude named Ryan Witkowski was playing in the Christie’s Critters golf invitational at PGA National in Palm Beach Gardens when he rode up on a scene straight out of Planet Earth: Florida Golf Courses.

Ryan found a gaggle of geese chasing after and giving it to an alligator. There’s a couple of theories floating around as to why those geese raged at that gator. One theory floating around (my head and only my head) is that the geese tried Lubriderm to moisturize their beaks and they weren’t happy with it so they went after one of Lubriderm’s past spokeswhores to get a refund. Another theory (which is probably the right one and will also fill you with the sads) is that the alligator ate one of their babies and they were trying to get revenge.

That alleged murderer gator may look like it’s casually struttin’ along like, “I’m full and don’t need to eat another goose, but if those bitches keep trying me…” But I’m sure it’s shitting pure fear. It’s seen Liam Neeson movies. It knows that if you mess with a parent, you better run for Jesus. That gator is totally heading to the nearest church.

Pic: YouTube

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 11, 2018 / Posted by:

This graceful badass pussy!

Normally when I decide to nerd out by playing a video game, I always choose to play the woman character, because she’s always got the hottest outfits, the best moves, and it just feels better when I scream, “Get them bitches, girl!” But if I played this alley cats video game, I’d definitely choose to play the black and white pussy, because bitch is S.T.E.A.L.T.H. (smooth, tenacious, elegant, acrobatic, lithe-as-fuck, tricky and hotter-than-hell).

There’s not much known about this video. I don’t know where it was filmed or when? But if you really wanted to find out, all you’d have to do is check vet records around the world for three pussies who suffered whiplash and a whipped body from getting hit by a furry lightning bolt.

Someone paired this video of the “Parkour Alley Pusswith the “Run” meme. The result is my new favorite video game scene that’s not really a video game scene. Steven Spielberg, James Cameron, Peter Jackson, Ridley Scott, and every other action movie director must be a bright shade of green right now because they are dripping with jealousy while wishing they could come up with pure dramatic action like this! Behold, this perfect video game score move.

That cliffhanger! Did that grey puss ever catch ninja puss? Did the other two cats get over the fact that they got their asses beat hard? If anything needs a sequel it’s this.

Pic: YouTube

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 9, 2018 / Posted by:

Tasha, future Hide and Seek World Champion!

This year’s Hide and Seek World Championship is going down in the ghost town of Consonno in northern Italy this August. That gives Tasha’s humans only a few months to book her a hotel and plane ticket to Italy, and gives the other teams only a few months to practice like they’re Trump hiding from Mueller. Because in this very short video shot by her human, Karen Davenport Jackson of Rossford, Ohio, Tasha proves that she’s a master at hiding.

Tasha, who is now world famous partly thanks to Jimmy Kimmel Live, was avoiding going inside like I avoid the steamed vegetables that come with my surf and turf at Outback. Every time her man human opens the screen door and calls for Tasha to come in, that pooch version of Houdini magically vanishes behind a plant pot. And when he closes the screen door, Tasha pops up to see if the coast is clear. I guess Tasha hasn’t learned how windows work yet, but when she does, her humans will need the help of the FBI and Detective La Toya Jackson to find her. Behold, Tasha’s mind-boggling “Now you see me, now you don’t, bitch” skills.

Carmen Sandiego, who? It’s all about “Where in the world is Tasha?” now.

And I’m going to need to curl up next to Tasha’s paws and ask her to teach me her ways, because I want to disappear like that when a bill collector comes a calling.

Pic: YouTube

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 8, 2018 / Posted by:

Frances McDormand’s Met Gala Look!

While watching E!’s coverage of last night’s Meth Gala (which was a teensy bit less insufferable since Ryan Seacrest wasn’t a part of it), Giuliana Rancic told the viewers to prepare for the sight of Frances McDormand. Knowing that Frances McDormand, the Patron Saint of Not Giving A Fuck, was at the Met Gala and that the theme was Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination (aka Sunday Best), I figured that she wore some stained Notre Dame sweats, a “Mary Is My Homegirl” t-shirt and worn out Birkenstocks, which I’m pretty sure were Jesus’ favorite brand of sandals. But instead, Frances  surprised the shit out of me by showing up looking like the High Priestess of a cult I definitely want to join.

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