Category: Hot Slut of the Day

Hot Sluts Of The Day!

February 15, 2019 / Posted by:

Roper and Cricket, the down-low cowcorgi and the one-eyed miniature pony who were caught in a late-night secret rendezvous.

A story about a corgi sneaking out of his home to ride a one-eyed pony down the way might sound like some interspecies porn, but this is a G-rated story of down-low friendship, you sick bitch. Who knows how long the secret love between Roper and Cricket has been going on, but one night, a human named Callie Schenker returned to her farm in Missouri and caught them in the act. When my mom once went into the garage and caught the neighbor dude riding me, she ran out and screamed for us to get out of there (no, that didn’t happen, or did it?). But Callie immediately pulled out her phone and got video proof of a corgi riding her pony.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 14, 2019 / Posted by:

The new epitome of gourmet romance: Olive Garden’s breadstick bouquet!

If you’re like me, then you’re probably practicing your “OH MY GOD, I CAN’T BELIEVE HE DID THAT” scream in preparation of the arrival of the Valentine’s Day bouquet of flowers you had sent to yourself to make all your co-workers jealous (and I work alone… at home…. without co-workers… but I just love getting an annual “bitch, we both know you sent that shit to yourself” side-eye from my dog). But if you truly want to do outdo it in the romance department, cancel your flowers order, and instead Postmate a bouquet of Olive Garden breadsticks to your office. Every one of your co-workers will explode with jealousy as they break-up with their piece by text for not giving them the ultimate gift of romantic love.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 13, 2019 / Posted by:

Gritty’s Girlfriend!

If you really don’t want to bother with this stupid post based on what you think is happening in that pic, then: 1. I don’t blame you. And 2. Just look at the face on the lady on the right. It says everything you need to know which is, “You grown adults aren’t being paid enough to partake in this mess.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 12, 2019 / Posted by:

The set for a community theater production of James and the Giant Peach!

If you didn’t know that was the set for a production of James and the Giant Peach, you might think it was the set for a community theater production of The Vagina Monologues or a community theater production of The Trump Monologues (since it kind of looks a padded toilet seats). But thanks to some plywood, half-off duvet covers from Big Lots, and the hard work of community theater volunteers, that shit is supposed to be a peach. Okay, it’s been a while since I’ve seen a vagina (read: like 12 hours, because I watched p-in-v porn last night), but does a cooze even look like that? That looks more like the entrance to the boudoir of Peaches ‘N Cream Barbie, which may look like the opening of a poon, now that I think about it.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 11, 2019 / Posted by:

DOLLY!

Usually, I don’t like to give the HSOTD title to international superstar legends, because they already have enough illustrious awards, but I’m breaking that flimsy rule to honor Dolly Parton for: 1. Being Dolly Parton. And 2: Showing the young tricks at the Grammys how to properly pay homage to Dolly Parton.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 10, 2019 / Posted by:

Soy Bomb!

Dlisted has lived through 14 Grammys, and not once have I paid tribute to the legendary SOY BOMB! I know, I really should have my serious journalist credentials revoked for that. But better a million years late than never, which is also what my dad would say if he ever showed up to one of my birthday parties. The Grammys are usually a 16-hour exercise in trying to keep your eyelids open while being bombarded with musical Ambien, but in 1998, there was a jolt of 100% pure fuckery-flavored soy when Soy Bomb crashed the stage during Bob Dylan’s performance. While tonight’s Grammy ceremony will probably deliver several bombs (one of which will be a WTF bomb dropped by JLo when she shakes her ass to Papa Was A Rolling Stone during her Motown tribute), the stage bomb that Soy Bomb dropped was piping hot and it included man nipples.

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