Category: Hot Slut of the Day

Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 6, 2015 / Posted by:

The most-loved ATM in Skoghall, Sweden, if not the world! 

ATMs can bring you happiness (example: when you’re about to meet your weed man, who only takes cash, and you’ve walked 4 blocks before finding an ATM that isn’t broken) and ATMs can bring you sadness (example: when it tells you that you have insufficient funds and you scream at it to please break the rules this time and stop being a square) and I don’t remember the last time I used one, but it’s nice knowing that there’s usually one nearby. The people of Skoghall, Sweden (population: 13,000) haven’t experienced the emotional highs and lows of using an ATM in six months, because that’s the last time their town has had one. But that changed the other day and their lives will never be the same again.

Sweden is one of the most cashless societies in the world (they buy everything with Ikea meatballs) and Skoghall lost its last ATM six months ago, so when a new ATM was unveiled in their town, it was a celebration. I’ve been to birthday parties that weren’t as elaborate as the opening of this ATM was. A reporter showed up to cover the important event, a musical duo yodeled out “We have gotten a new ATM” to the tune of Monty Python’s Always Look On The Bright Side and a dude on the roof threw candy into the streets.

The Daily Star claims that this video is 100% real and isn’t a scene from a Christopher Guest movie:

Were the people so mesmerized by that ATM that they didn’t realize that candy was falling from the sky? Maybe it’s because as a kid I learned I had to elbow and trip brats as soon as the piñata broke open, but I would’ve been all over that candy. Or maybe not. Maybe I would’ve been hypnotized by that beautiful cash machine too. It’s the little things (that charge you a fee and don’t work all the time) in life… Skoghall is doing it right, though. Life is too short to not throw a party for a new ATM. Welcome to the world, Skoghall ATM!


Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 5, 2015 / Posted by:

The Tori Spelling sex dress that Shannen Doherty wore in a photo shoot for Beverly Hills, 90210!

I know, I know, two 90210 dress-themed Hot Slut of the Days in a row. But yesterday was 90210’s 25th anniversary so it should be a month, if not an entire year, of 90210-themed HSTODs!!!

Lifetime’s Unauthorized Beverly Hills, 90210 movie was a travesty that was seriously not messy enough, but maybe that’s because all of the messiness was used on the special, Tori Spelling: Celebrity Lie Detector (true title: Tori Spelling Will Do Anything For Cash), that aired afterward. Shit was a damn mess and I’m sure it was about as authentic and real as Kim Kartrashian’s face (or any part of her body, actually). Tori was hooked up to a lie detector and they asked her dozens of questions. Tori’s answers and the lie detector results were melodramatically revealed in an interview she did with Louise Roe.

Yes, after I watched it, I went away thinking, “Damn, that trick doesn’t know what shame is,” but I also learned a couple new things. Tori confessed that the other 90210 cast member she screwed on, besides Brian Austin Green, was Jason Priestley. (Somewhere, Jason Priestley buried his head in the ground while wishing he was living in a time when the world didn’t know he fucked on Tori Spelling.) Tori also told a story about the dress that Shanen Doherty wore in the picture above.

Tori talked about how she lost her virginity to a dude who wasn’t famous, and Louise Roe asked her if she remembered what she wore when she turned in her V-card. It’s so funny that Louise asked that because Tori had a story about the dress she wore. Imagine that! So off the cuff! So not scripted! Tori said that she wore a black and floral dress when she sexed the first time and she got a little popped cherry blood on it. Tori kept the dress as a ~memento~ of the moment she got screwed for the first time.

Before a shoot for a Beverly Hills, 90210 cast photo, Shannen went through Tori’s closet to pick out a dress to wear. Shannen picked out Tori’s first fuck me dress and when Tori told her about the dress and the coochie blood stain, she didn’t give a shit and wore it anyway. It’s Tori Spelling, so that story could be made of pure lies. But I believe her, because in that picture, Shannen Doherty is sort of making a face that says, “I‘m wearing Tori Spelling’s sex dress and I’m definitely wearing it hotter.


Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 4, 2015 / Posted by:

The iconic black and white bow dress that Kelly and Brenda wore their junior year to the Spring Dance in season 1 of Beverly Hills, 90210!

25 years ago today, the first episode of The Brenda Walsh Hour of Extravaganza (aka Beverly Hills, 90210) aired and it introduced us youngins, who had never seen Little House on the Prairie or Heathers, to the bad bitch greatness of Shannen Doherty! Beverly Hills, 90210 turns 25 today (which means all of us are old bitches and it’s only a matter of time before our bones turn to dust) and Lifetime did the show wrong on the eve of its birthday by spitting all over its beautiful memory.

Lifetime aired the Unauthorized Beverly Hills, 90210 movie last night and I had hoped they’d give us some juicy messiness, but they didn’t give us that. Everything I knew about 90210 was in Lifetime’s movie. They didn’t give any new information! Instead of doing a 90210 movie, they should’ve done a Shannen Doherty biopic. Because 95% of their 90210 movie was about Shannen’s bad bitch antics and it ended with her leaving the show. They didn’t even bother showing what happened after Shannen Doherty left, and I do agree with that decision, because who cares about a post-Brenda 90210?

The 90210 movie was filled with many inaccuracies, but the most offensive one was their screw-up of the legendary Spring Dance dress. One of the most iconic moments in Beverly Hills, 90210 history was when that jealous piece of boiled limp asparagus Kelly Taylor wore the exact same Spring Dance dress as Brenda Walsh. Kelly looked like a bratty little girl playing dress up while Brenda Walsh gave us “50-something Republican First Lady” glamour.

Anyway, Lifetime’s movie featured the filming of the Spring Dance, but they messed up an extremely important fact. In their version, Kelly Taylor and Brenda Walsh wear different colors of the same dress. I mean, what in the hell is this? (Side note: Cousin Emily from the 90210 reboot played Jennie Garth in the Lifetime movie and she should really get a DNA test, because there’s a 100% chance that she’s the secret daughter that Jennie Garth gave up years ago. They’re twins.)


I get that Lifetime probably couldn’t recreate the same exact dress that Kelly and Brenda wore in the original, because I’m sure that dress design has been trademarked and is currently the headlining piece at the Smithsonian. But they should’ve at least made Kelly and Brenda wear identical dresses in the same color. I mean, how can I believe anything in that 90210 movie when they mess up one of the most important details? That’s like making a movie about the Civil War and changing the Gettysburg Address to the Jersey City Address. The government should charge Lifetime with treason for messing that up. Oh, Lifetime, I hate you, never talk to me again! 

But I will forgive Lifetime if they make a Shannen Doherty biopic starring Shannen Doherty. It’s clear that’s what the world wants and needs right now. And on that note, Happy 90210 Day, everyone!


Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 3, 2015 / Posted by:

Mark Davis, the owner and managing general partner of the Oakland Raiders, and more importantly, the owner of a stunningly gorgeous ginger bowl haircut that was sent from the heavens to make the world a more beautiful place!

Mark Davis became the owner of the Oakland Raiders when his father died and he’s worth around half a billion dollars. Even though Mark Davis has money oozing out of his pores, he drives a 1997 Dodge Caravan, his minivan has a vanity plate that reads “R8HERS,” he carries a 12-year-old Nokia cell phone, he calls P.F. Chang’s one of his favorite restaurants, he wears a white fanny pack and he loves his exquisite haircut so much that he travels 500 miles to get it. This adonis is everything in a ginger hair bowl. I am in love and I’m mostly in love with that “Friar Tuck in Dumb and Dumber” haircut.

You’d think that angels travel from heaven to cut Mark Davis’ ethereal hair with a bowl and scissors made of solid gold, but a mere mortal actually styles that hair. In an amazing profile for ESPN The Magazine, Mark says that the artiste who cuts his hair is in Palm Desert, CA, which is 500 miles from Mark’s home. But traveling that far is absolutely worth it. Every time he goes to get his haircut, he sings, “I would walk 500 miles, and I would walk 500 more, to be the man who has a bowl haircut that makes hos fall on the floor.

Davis travels to Palm Desert to get it cut, just as he traveled to Chico from Oakland to visit a preferred barber long after he left college at Chico State. “I think he’s had three barbers since college,” [former Raiders wideout Cliff] Branch says. “If he likes something, he stays loyal.”

And who wouldn’t stay loyal to that hairstyle? Mark Davis is what you’d get if you morphed all of the Three Stooges together, and that is beyond the look. Dude is Rojo Caliente II.

Pics: AP, Getty


Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 2, 2015 / Posted by:

The bear from Alaska who destroyed a woman’s kayak after she begged its ass not to!

Now this is the real, raw and gritty reboot of Goldilocks we’ve all been waiting for. Instead of Goldilocks being an annoying, thieving little girl, Goldilocks is a woman with an “Amy Poehler on helium voice,” and instead of three bears, there’s just one bear who gets revenge on her for pepper spraying it in the face.

During a solo kayak trip in Alaska, Mary Maley was finishing up her lunch when a hungry bear came by. While recording the whole thing, Mary thanked the bear for not screwing with her kayak and then she pepper sprayed that trick. Mary Maley gone and did it. If the bear wasn’t planning to eat her kayak, it changed its mind as soon as she pepper sprayed it.

The bear started tearing up her kayak, and in a voice that probably rattled the bones of the bear’s dead ancestors, she hilariously begged it to stop. Mary Maley screeched out a million WHYs and I screeched right back, “Because you motherfucking pepper sprayed it!” The bear probably kept messing up her kayak, because the sound of its chewing on plastic drowned out the sound of her screaming at it.

In the YouTube description, Mary says that the bear eventually felt like she had suffered enough for messing with it and it went on its way. Mary had to swim to a nearby ship to get help:

This video is taken 5 minutes after the attack began, he continued to gnaw on it for another 5 or 10 after the video ends. Shortly after the bear left and I drug the kayak back to the cabin door step. Then I swam to the S/V anchored in the bay. They did not have their radio on and I feared I would be stranded! The German flagged S/v Caledonia took me and my things to Wrangell where I am trying to repair my kayak now.

It sucks that her kayak got jacked up, but I love that bear. That bear knew exactly what it was doing. But I am surprised that other bears didn’t show up and drag that kayak-destroying bear away like, “Stop with that shit, we can’t fucking sleep when she’s screaming at you!

via Gawker


Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 1, 2015 / Posted by:

The giant big pussy that spits out presents at a train station in the land of wonder, fuckery and magic we call Japan! 

I’ve experienced some terrifying things in the subway before (examples: a dude caca-ing into a plastic bag, a performer singing a Celine Dion song at 7 in the morning, a woman wearing UGGs while carrying CROCs in her hand, etc…), but over in Japan they created something really horrifying and also magical at the same time. Rocket News 24 (via Cute Overload) says that Japan’s largest delivery company Yamato Unyu has injected LSD into their ad campaign by putting a huge replica of their logo, a black cat, inside of Tokyo’s Shinjuku Station.

The gigantic black pussy with eyes of meth doesn’t only just sit there, making travelers wonder if they put an extra shot of liquid acid in their morning coffee. (I know, like the people of Japan are weirded out by this. This shit ain’t nothing for Japan.) The gigantic black pussy also spits out gifts and the gifts aren’t giant hairballs. The gifts are Yamato Unyu boxes with Yamato Unyu “swag” inside. The Yamato Unyu pussy will be inside of Shinjuku Station until October 4th and then it’ll move on to other locations around the country. This is what it looks like in action. I don’t know if this is a dream, a nightmare or a little of both:

I see that big, black gift-spitting pussy trying to buy people’s love, but sorry, the late Tama will forever be the greatest station pussy of all-time.


Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 30, 2015 / Posted by:

Zeek, the monkey who screwed with police and brought the foolery to a neighborhood in Sanford, FL!

Just look at that monkey drinking his water like he don’t give one fuck. Zeek, the pet monkey, started the party early the other day when he broke out of his human’s house and committed an illegal act by going through a neighbor’s mailbox. The Sanford Police Department wrote on Facebook (via USA Today) that they got a call at around 8 in the morning about a hungry monkey eating mail out of a mailbox. Does Zeek have Twitter yet? I really want to ask him to “come to Brazil California,” because I always have a mailbox full of shit I don’t want to see (catalogs, stupid ass circulars and bills) and need a mail-eating monkey to eat that crap for me.

The police say that when they showed up, Zeek showed massive amounts of respect for the law by pulling off molding from a cop car. If either you or I tore up a cop car, we’d probably get tased or shot, but Zeek got a water bottle. Zeek’s got the police wrapped around his monkey finger. When Zeek took a sip of that water, he threw the bottle down onto the ground like, “Bitch, this ain’t even got alcohol in it! Take your asses to the liquor store now!” No, he didn’t do that, but you know the police would’ve gladly picked up a bottle of wine for him if he did. Zeek stayed on the curb with his water bottle until his owner picked him up.

I’m sure this isn’t the last we’ve seen of Zeek. Zeek is going to turn it up now that he knows the police aren’t going to do shit to him (I see him in those pictures telling those cops to kiss monkey ass). The Planet of the Apes is real and it’s happening.

Pics: Facebook


Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 29, 2015 / Posted by:

The hairspray comb!

In the decade of natural glamour (the 80s, duh), a comb and a spray bottle fell in love, had bareback sex and 9 months later popped out an important beauty tool of the 1980s. Nothing could make an 80s girl’s life come crashing down like her AquaNet-covered teased hair nest of perfection deflating. Every time a girl’s hair deflated in the 80s, an angel killed itself. So an inventor, who should really go down in history as one of the greatest, invented the hairspray comb.

You filled up the hairspray comb with your heaven’s mist (aka hairspray) of choice and took it with you so you’d always be able to save your teased mane from turning into a flat puddle of unglamorousness. I used to see this ingenious tool at the 99 Cent store all the time, but I haven’t seen one in a loooong time. Every hairspray comb left on the planet is probably collecting one hundred layers of dust in the back of their owner’s bathroom cabinet, hoping that glamorous teased hair makes a comeback so they can rise like the plastic Phoenix they are from the ashes (aka dust). I hope that day comes too, hairspray comb. It’s time for a hairspray comback!

Pic: Allure


Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 28, 2015 / Posted by:

Mrs. Minassian (as played by Grace Zabriskie) from Ray Donovan!

Ray Donovan’s third season finale aired last night and I really hope I’ll never ever see Katie Holmes’ braces again. Tommy Girl’s ex-prisoner wife played the cutthroat daughter of a billionaire and yet her braces look like they were stolen from a poor child in the 1940s. I’ve never seen braces like that and they made her teeth look like that of a meth head who chews rocks. Katie’s braces were the worst part of last season, but the best part was the bad bitch performance given by Grace Zabriskie (aka Laura Palmer’s mom in Twin Peaks, Bill’s mom in Big Love, Juana in Wild At Heart, etc.. etc… etc…).

Grace played Mrs. Minassian, an Armenian mafia queen who got into business with Jon Voight and proved time and time again that she’s ոչ մեկը (the always 100% accurate Google Translate tells me that’s Armenian for “not the one.”) Most of Mrs. Minassian’s scenes were in her opulent restaurant and she didn’t really say much, but she didn’t have to. When you’re an Armenian mafia queen, words are cheap and all you have to do is wave your hand to get one of your henchmen to destroy your enemies. I won’t spill any SPOILERS!!!!!! about last night’s episode, but I will say that I’m sad that Mrs. Minassian didn’t have a scene with Katie Holmes. Because she totally would’ve made one of her minions rip those weird-ass looking braces out of Katie’s mouth.

Pic: Showtime


Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 27, 2015 / Posted by:

Congressman Bob Brady, who stole the Pope’s glass of water, drank from it and then bragged about it.

After Pope Francis dropped his holy words into the ears of Congress on Thursday, Congressman Bob from Philadelphia proved he’s a thirsty ho in more ways than one. Congressman Bob bragged to the Philadelphia Daily News and CNN about how he snatched the Pope’s drinking glass, snuck it back to his office and drank the water blessed by the holy one’s lips. His wife Debra and a few of his staffers also put their mouths on the glass the Pope’s mouth was on.  (“Eh, amateurs!” said members of the Beyhive who have used dirty tampons they took from their god’s trash cans to paint a giant portrait of her.)

Congressman Bob, who is Catholic (duh), gave two pictures to the media and also spit out these words.

“I saw the Pope drinking out of it three or four times and I thought it would be a great idea … for me to have something of a remembrance of Pope Francis. I just saw the glass, I walked up and picked it up and kept it.

I’m sure it’s blessed if the Pope drank out of it. Why not? If not, I’m saying it is. I mean, the Pope drank out of it, the Pope handled it … It’s good enough for me.”

The Pope’s biggest Philadelphia fanboy plans to have the glass “authenticated” and he’s going to keep it in his home as a “family heirloom.” He poured the rest of the water into a bottle and he plans to use it to bless his grandchildren and great-grandchild. Congressman Bob has a history of messiness like this. He also stole President Obama’s drinking glass from the inauguration, but he swears he didn’t drink from that one.

The Pope better get a restraining order and hide his bunnies, because crazy ass Congressman Bob is the Alex Forrest to his Dan Gallagher. I bet as Pope Francis spoke, Congressman Bob sat in the audience with glazed eyes and watched the holy object of his affection while singing to himself, “Every sip you take…. every gulp you make…

And when Congressman Bob gets a herpes sore, he’s totally going to find a way to cut it off so he can shellack it and keep it on his mantel. It’ll be a Pope herp!


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