Category: Hot Slut of the Day

Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 27, 2016 / Posted by:

Princess, the Finders Keypers swan!

The toy artistes of the 80s did not mess around and gave the children (and future ravers) a toy for everything. They’d drop acid, scan their office for ideas, spot a lockbox transforming into a pastel pink snail going to an old-timey Easter party and say, “That’s our next hit!” Finders Keypers (also just called “Keypers“) were the 80s version of piggy banks. They were a line of plastic toys that had hot new wave hairstyles and a secret compartment for kids to hide all of their most prized valuables and heirlooms (Sweet Secrets, Tinkerbell nail polish, necklace charms, the baby from The Heart Family, etc…). ADT must have been a consultant on Finders Keypers, because you could lock up your valuables with a key. You know that all of Lindsay Lohan’s little friends had one and would look up their shit before she came over for a playdate.

The adult Keypers had a big compartment with a key, and their baby had a slit in their body for kids to put coins in. Each Keyper came with a “Finder,” which was a tiny flashlight to help kids find their lost stuff. Here’s the Keypers in action, and HAHA at that little thief’s robbery plot getting foiled!

Below are just a few pictures of some Keypers, but the most glamorous of them was today’s HSOTD Princess. She was a swan who had a stream of luscious pink polyester hair flowing out of her head and an opulent plastic crown. Princess was more secure than Fort Knox, because every time a shameless thief tried to break into her, they would find themselves hypnotized by her glamour, which would cause them to fumble while trying to pick her lock and they’d just give up.

Pics: Flickr, Strong Mind, Pinterest

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 26, 2016 / Posted by:

The hot look that Young Thug works on the cover of his mixtape No, My Name Is JEFFREY.

RuPaul’s Drag Race All-Stars splattered back onto our TV screens in all its sequined and lace front glue glory last night, and I wanted to pull a HSOTD from that episode, but then rapper Young Thug moistened the nipple tips of the internet by releasing his new mixtape and its cover. (You can stream the entire thing here.) I went with Young Thug, because all he needs is a good waist-cinching and he’d be working the favorite RPDR look of the night.

Kanye West is supposed to perform on the MTV VMAs this Sunday, and I bet the ears of everyone who was at his rehearsal yesterday are still ringing from the loud tantrum he threw after finding out that Young Thug is wearing the periwinkle ensemble he was supposed to wear. Yeah right, like Kanye could ever come up with something as creative and forward as this.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 25, 2016 / Posted by:

Mayor Duke of Cormorant, Minnesota!

Mayor Duke was Hot Slut of the Day back in 2014, but I am re-electing him, because as America’s only trustworthy politician, he deserves it! The now 9-year-old Great Pyrenees destroyed his only opponent, a human store owner, 2 years ago when most of the 12 write-in votes cast went to him. Mayor Duke spent his first term sleeping, drooling, farting, sleeping, eating, begging and sleeping, and that’s much more than most human politicians do, so the people of Cormorant voted him into a second term in 2015! And on Saturday, Mayor Duke made history when he was re-elected for a third term in a historical landslide election. Mayor Duke didn’t even have to campaign. He didn’t have to hand out “#ImWithFur” or “Make America Bark Again”  t-shirts or suck a bunch of ass. (Sure, he sniffed and licked ass, but he didn’t do it for votes. He did it because he wanted to.)

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 24, 2016 / Posted by:

Ivena “Ivy” Smailes, the centenarian hero who asked for “hunky and burly firefighters” for her 105th birthday and got it!

When you’ve gone through 100 years or more of living on this planet, you’ve earned the right to ask for whatever you want on your birthday. Some keep it simple and ask for a mug of whiskey and to be left the fuck alone, and others, like Ivy Smailes asks for some memaw nipple-tingling hotness in the form of mens in uniform. Ivy lives at the Addison Court Care Home in the English village of Crawcrook in Tyne and Wear, and one of the workers there tells ABC News that every year she makes a few special requests for her birthday party. For her big 1-0-5, Ivy asked for singers, dancers, a cake and HOT FIREMAN ASS.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 23, 2016 / Posted by:

Lion Dog from the Amazon Prime commercial that is melting cold hearts everywhere!

This Amazon Prime commercial from Japan has been airing here in the U.S. a lot lately, and it’s apparently made people feel again. It has made worried people run to the ER with strange symptoms like leaky eyes and warmness in the chest. Their icy carcasses haven’t felt those things in decades! When I first watched it, I thought it was a parody. Because of that song and the dog’s acting, I thought they were making fun of sappy commercials. But nope, they’re all serious.

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Hot Sluts Of The Day!

August 22, 2016 / Posted by:

Tserenbaatar Tsogtbayar and Byambarenchin Bayaraa, the Mongolian head wrestling coach and assistant coach who gave us some man nipple action and body when their dude lost the bronze medal in Rio yesterday!

At the end of yesterday’s 65kg freestyle wrestling bronze medal match between Ikhtiyor Navruzov of Uzbekistan and  Ganzorigiin Mandakhnaran of Mongolia, Ganzorigiin (thank GOD for copy + paste) seemed to be the winner. His coaches did a victory run to the mat, brought out their country’s flag and celebrated. But USA Today says that they shot a load of victory a little too prematurely, because those hating ass judges gave a penalty point to Navruzov and declared him the true winner.

How do you say “Ain’t that a fucking bitch?” in Mongolian?

The coaches tried to challenge the call, but the judges really broke their victory boners by letting them know that the call could not be challenged. So they did what anyone else would do after going on an emotional roller coaster ride that took them from YAY to FUCK THIS SHIT. They stripped in protest! One coach just took off his shirt, but the other one served up some serious Mongolian beef by stripping down to his undies. Security escorted the coaches and their nipples of rage off of the mat as the audience chanted “Mongolia! Mongolia!”

I don’t know the rules of wrestling, because I’m too busy screaming, “KISS! Take each other’s clothes off!“, at the screen to pay attention, so I’m not sure if Mongolia was robbed or not. But I do know that those coaches have the right idea and I hope that “loser stripping” becomes a thing. And by that I mean that I hope Alexander Skarsgard, Joe ManJello, Idris Elba and Jason Momoa are all nominated for an Oscar and all lose hard.

Pic: Getty

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