Category: Hot Slut of the Day

Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 25, 2016 / Posted by:

The apple-snatching, robot-hating moose of Norway!

This video may only be as long as an elephant shrew’s uncut mouth dick, but it’s more riveting, action-filled and entertaining than all of the Transformers movies combined. The owner of a home in a suburb in Norway caught one of Lindsay Lohan’s moose cousins blatantly stealing apples from a tree in their backyard.

When a thieving ass moose is snatching your apples without permission or payment, you can deal with Bullwinkle Lohan a few ways. You can either just let them steal since we’re all in this shitty life together and apples bring happiness to a moose’s mouth. You can scare them off by blaring a Meghan Trainor song at it, but then again, it may pound its ears against the tree branches to stop the pain and then you’ll be arrested for animal cruelty. Or you can do what the Norwegian homeowner did. They sent in a robot lawnmower to scare the apple robber away. SPOILER ALERT: A moose isn’t going to let some grass-cutting robot bitch mess up its apple heist.

And here’s the answer to the age-old question: How many hoof bops from a moose does it take to stop a robot lawnmower.

I’m really going to need Michael Mann to turn that clip into a feature film.

And now we know that when the robots rise up against us, we’ll have moose kind on our side.

via Neatorama (For Carole)

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 24, 2016 / Posted by:

Kym Sims!

A couple of weeks ago, I was at my aunt’s house and was going through my phone on the couch while my cousin sat next to me with her eyes practically SuperGlued to my screen since the word metiche was  invented for her. As I scrolled through stories, I went past a story about RuPaul’s Drag Race and Michelle Visage was in the picture, which made my cousin grab me and say, “Shit, is that Kym Sims?!” She said Kym Sims!

It took me a minute and also took my cousin singing a few seconds of Too Blind To See It, but I remembered. Wikipedia tells me that Kym Sims still writes, records and performs today and she’s been doing that ever since her WORLDWIDE MEGA HIT Too Blind To See It came out in 1991. TBTSI was a big hit in the UK and a big dance hit in the US.

The second single, Take My Advice, on Kym’s first album got some play too, but TBTSI is the early-90s classic that took me away. And honey, let me tell you something, no video in the wooorld will give you a Wilson’s Leather biker hat, zoom-in-and-out action and shoulder-ography like this!

For once I don’t mind my cousin’s nosy ways because it brought me back to this early-90s jewel.

Pic: MTV

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 23, 2016 / Posted by:

Crossfire! 

Here I was thinking that Crossfire was a gift that was given to us in the golden era of greatness, the 80s, but after researching for this post for hours (read: I Googled for 30 seconds), I learned that Milton Bradley created it in 1971. There was really nothing much to Crossfire. It was like the three-way baby of hockey, pool and paintball. Your goal was to push one of two pucks into your enemy’s goal and you did it by shooting little metal balls. If your parents refused to buy Crossfire for you, you could’ve easily made your own busted-down DIY version using Dixie cups duct-taped down to the table (the goals), charms from a charm bracelet (the pucks) and Pic N’ Save water guns.

I only played Crossfire a couple of times and honestly, I was never really into it, because it lacked THEATER and DRAMA. It was no Fireball Island. But while the game itself was boring to me, the commercial was a thrilling spectacle of excitement!

Maybe that’s why a game of Crossfire was boring to me. Maybe I needed to play it in a smoky battle dome (aka a bathroom full of shower steam) as lightning strikes (aka a friend turning the lights on and off real fast) and fire glazes all around us (aka a couple of Yankee Candles lit). I should do that this weekend while playing the busted-down DIY version of Crossfire. But wait, to do that, I’m going to need some friends first. You can rent those from Craigslist, right?

Pic: BoardGameGeek 

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 22, 2016 / Posted by:

Zeke Smith from Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X! 

Survivor started up against last night, and at the beginning of the episode, Jeff Probst welcomed the cast to the 33rd season. 33 SEASONS. I have watched every single season, which means I’ve watched hundreds upon hundreds of episodes, which means I’ve spent hundreds upon hundreds of hours watching Survivor, which means I have something to say if anyone ever asks me what I’m most proud of in life. I now get to say, “Well, I’m glad you asked that. I’m most proud of the fact that I have spent hundreds of hours watching Survivor. I’ll give you a second to recover from the overcoming emotion of impressiveness you’re currently feeling.

For the 33rd season of Survivor (33, seriously!), they pit Millennials against Gen Xers, so basically it’s whiny young bitches vs. bitter old bitches. Going in, I really thought that my favorite cast member would be a Gen Xer, but my favorite so far is a Millennial who doesn’t really think he’s a Millennial. You won’t find him trying to make an iPhone out of a coconut after he finds himself severely strung out from not being able to Snapchat.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 21, 2016 / Posted by:

Jacques Jolie-Pitt!

St. Angie Jolie wants singular physical custody of all 934 of her children (or “all 6 of her children” if you like exact details and facts) and isn’t asking for any child support from Brad Pitt, but what about Jacques Jolie-Pitt?! Who’s going to get him? Jacques Jolie-Pitt is the most elusive and private member of the world’s most holiest family. Dude hardly does any pap walks and he’s agreed to do only less than a handful of public appearances like a shoot for Parade (see: him looking relieved in the face as he drops a fart on his human’s shoe) and a guest spot during an interview on 60 Minutes in 2011.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 20, 2016 / Posted by:

The Sharp Boombox!

The technical name of Sharp’s Jordan almond-colored music boxes of wonder was the Sharp QT-50, but everyone I knew just called it the little pink (or mint or purple) boombox. In the mid-80s, every girl I knew either had one of these musical vessels of pastel perfection or begged for one for Christmas or their birthday. My sister had one and it was the pink star of the bedroom we shared. The Sharp Boombox was a radio, cassette player AND cassette recorder, so it was definitely a technological marvel to me and didn’t think it could ever good better than it. And it really hasn’t, because does the iPhone or iPod come with a strap so you can wear it like a purse and strut through the neighborhood blasting hot tunes as everyone fell over from your coolness? I think not!

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Just looking at the Sharp Boombox takes me back to my bedroom floor where I’d lay and wait for Tiffany’s I Think We’re Alone Now to play on the radio so that I could record it on a cassette. And I think my sister’s old Sharp QT-50 may still be in storage in my mom’s garage somewhere. I need to plan an expedition where I put on an Indiana Jones hat and climb through the hills of cardboard boxes in my mom’s garage to look for this important artifact from the 80s!

Pics: Pinterest, Mirror80

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