Category: Hot Slut of the Day

Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 26, 2019 / Posted by:

Crystal Ball Dog!

Finally, finally, finally! I’ve been waiting for someone, anyone, to take down that fraudulent twink Tyler Henry and that peroxide Bride of Frankenfraud Theresa Caputo as the country’s most famous spiritual guide, ghost whisperer, and future-seer. And we finally found someone, and this one actually has skills!

If you’ve said before, “Shit, anything will go viral these days, like a dog staring at an empty snow globe would totally go viral,” then not only were you right, but you’re also a bona fide SLYCIC. Because the internet’s new favorite fortune teller is a Redditor’s crystal ball reading dog. We’ve all heard of seeing eye dogs before, but this is a SEES FUCKING ALL dog.

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Hot Sluts Of The Day!

March 25, 2019 / Posted by:

Charlie and Maverick, the blind Gold Retriever and his seeing eye pup!

Above is an actual picture from the future of a geriatric me (so like in one year) posing with my seeing (brown) eye twink after I finally go blind from all my damn eyeball surgeries. Please, like I’ll ever be that cute. Above is Charlie and Maverick, the stars of the story that caused global warming in my chest last week when my heart melted while seeing their tale on Today.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 23, 2019 / Posted by:

Matt Bradley, the MSNBC war correspondent who got caught getting camera beauty ready while reporting from Syria.

I know that saliva’s main purpose is to be used as ass sex and fapping lube when your bottle of Wet runs dry. And I know that it’s second main purpose is to be used to be spit at a trick when they fuck with you and you don’t want to dirty your hands with their nastiness by slapping them. But it also has another use, and no, I’m talking about “aiding in eating, swallowing, and digestion” (that’s not its main purpose!!!). I’m talking about using it to slick back your hair when gel ain’t around. That’s exactly what reporter Matt Bradley did while reporting from Syria, and he got caught on camera doing it.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 22, 2019 / Posted by:

The Falcon Jizz Hat!

This story about a jaunty hat that is decorated with falcon cum is a little on the old side, but it was Confucius who said: It is never too late to make a falcon jizz hat Hot Slut of the Day. Or maybe that was Cumfucius who said that. I don’t know, but here we are.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 21, 2019 / Posted by:

Willow Beckinsale!

Willow is one of Kate Beckinsale’s pussies, and you may think that picture was taken when she saw Samantha Ronson’s zombie boy twin Pete Davidson walking out of Kate’s bedroom while completely naked. But Kate says that picture was taken when Willow met former HSOTD and noted pussy whisperer Jackson Galaxy. Kate brought in “Cat Daddy” Jackson after she learned that like all pets, Willow is fucking weird (or maybe us humans are the fucking weird ones, and pets are totally normal. Yeah, that makes more sense). Kate said on The Late Late Show with James Corden the other night that she was once having a dream about her mom not being able to go caca, and she woke up to find that Willow had left a murder victim outline of shit around her body as she slept. So Kate wanted to know if Willow was either putting the cat in SCAT QUEEN or if Willow was some kind of fluffy white witch who was performing a poop spell on her. It turns out that Willow just really loves Kate. So in other words, Willow is a Scat Cat Queen.

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