Category: Hot Slut of the Day

Hot Slut Of The Day!

January 17, 2017 / Posted by:

Alexis, the heroic contestant from The Bachelor who kept it all-the-way real on last night’s episode.

I haven’t watched The Bachelor for a few seasons because I realized that if I want to watch an annoying drunk mess cry about their stupid life while wearing an ugly dress borrowed from Rent The Runway, I’d just look in the mirror at the end of the night. (And yes, I just admitted that I wear a dress from Rent The Runway to bed.) But reader Angela showed me the brilliance I’ve been missing when she sent me a screen shot of the genteel blossom who pretty much quoted the great poet Ludacris on last night’s episode.

Alexis is the attention whore mess (but in her defense, that show is the battle of attention whore messes) and “aspiring dolphin trainer” who wore what she kept saying was a dolphin costume on the first episode. It was clearly a shark costume. Yeah, so if her dolphin trainer dreams ever come true, trick is going to be in for a real bloody ass surprise when she tries to get a “dolphin” to twirl for her. But before a “dolphin” bites off her arm during training, Alexis used it to push the other bitches out of the way during last night’s rose ceremony.

When Nick Viall, the pile of uncooked oats with a six-pack who is currently playing the role of The Bachelor, called Alexis’ name, she parted the sea of bitches by saying the magic words:Move, bitches. I’m comin’ through.” Not all heroes wear capes, some wear dresses from Bebe.

alexismovebitches

And just like that, Dolphin Shark Chick summed up The Bachelor with just two simple and poetic words.

Pic: @TTimewithTianna, GIF: Consequence of Sound

 

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

January 15, 2017 / Posted by:

The hero dog who saved one of its sworn enemies, a cat, from living the rest of its life in a pizza roll bag!

The words “animals are better than people” should be tattooed onto everyone’s brain, because we’re shown that fact a million times and we were shown it again when this video of a pussy in peril went viral. The Daily Mail says that a dude in Louisa, Kentucky went outside of his house and found a distressed ginger cat whose head was stuck in a pizza roll bag. The dude thinks that cat was going through the trash and accidentally got trapped in that pizza roll bag. But instead of putting on his Captain-Save-A-Pussy hat and rescuing that cat from its pizza roll bag prison, the human picked up his phone and started recording, because he “thought people might think it was funny.”

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Hot Sluts Of the Day!

January 14, 2017 / Posted by:

Pretty Poison!

Catch Me (I’m Falling) isn’t only the name of a musical masterpiece from 1987, it’s also the words you probably screamed after you inhaled the giant cloud of AquaNet (pink can) fumes wafting off of that picture and were completely knocked over from the intense glamour of it all. Every time I listen to Catch Me (I’m Falling), which is a lot, I can feel my hair tease itself and my shoulders start to shimmy on their own. Philadelphia’s own Pretty Poison is still together and the group is made up of Peg Bundy’s style icon Jade Starling (who is also a gay-rights activist), Kaya Pryor and Whey Cooler (which is a great name for a new wave drag queen as well as a great name for a refreshing protein supplement drink).

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

January 13, 2017 / Posted by:

Pete Parkkonen, the yodeling sex god of Finland!

I doubt that your loins have fully recovered from quivering themselves raw while watching #SaltBae sensually salt a big piece of meat, and it doesn’t look like they’re going to fully recover anytime soon thanks to today’s crotch seizure-inducing HSOTD. Pete Parkkonen sounds like the Finish version of Peter Parker and well, he will make ALL of your senses tingle with hot day-shift Chippendale’s dancer moves, fuck-me eyes, greasy nipples and luscious Fabio mane.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

January 12, 2017 / Posted by:

Taco Bell’s fried chicken chalupa!

And so it begins… Trump hasn’t even been sworn in as president yet and Taco Bell is already preparing for when he deports every Mexican and this country is hit with a tortilla shortage! But really, I salute Taco Bell for finally waking up and not letting Hong Kong, the Philippines and other countries show America up when it comes to disgustingly delicious gourmet creations. Bloomberg says that in September 2015, Taco Bell tested a fried chicken shell in Bakersfield, CA and a short time after later they tested the fried chicken chalupa (they’re calling it the “Naked Crispy Chicken Chalupa“) in Kansas City, MO. And on January 26th, Taco Bell will fart out their fried chicken chalupa all across the country.

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