Lenny Kravitz’s New Memoir Gets Into His Relationship With Lisa Bonet

Lenny Kravitz has a new memoir out, entitled Let Love Rule. Even if you’re not one for book reading, you should be excited, because this means more excuses to post pics of 56-year-old Lenny! “Thank you, Internet”, replied all our eyes, clits, and peens in unison.

In the book, Lenny gets into his relationship with ex-wife Lisa Bonet,. Apparently, way back in the eighties, Lenny saw a picture of Lisa on the cover of a TV Guide, and told a friend, “I’m gonna marry that girl.” I’m sure that friend was all, “Uh-huh, suuure you are, Leonard.”

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Here’s Tom Hardy Pretending To Be Ugly In The Trailer For “Capone”

When I saw that there was a trailer out for Capone starring my #1 would Tom Hardy, for one golden, fleeting moment, I thought I was going to have a good old fashioned #blessedday. What a fool I was. Just a starry-eyed summer child (pre-2020, summer children are canceled now that winter is here) thinking my quickly dwindling spank bank account was about to get a stimulus package. Sadly, Tom has let me down, and more importantly, let my clitoris down because Tom ain’t stimulating shit looking like a deep-fried meatball served in a dirty ashtray with extra cheese. Why, Tom, why!?!

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TikTok Moderators Were Told To Not Promote Posts From Users Who Are Ugly, Poor, Overweight, Or Disabled

Welp, now I know why my TikTok fame never took off. It seems that new leaks of company guidelines have revealed that they don’t really want ugly or poor people being shown on the main page. Only the rich, sexy, gorgeous, and skinny people deserve the promotion. They went above and beyond some “No fats, no fems!” shit.

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Who Ordered The Roast Beef? Because Kumail Nanjiani Just Served It On Instagram

I spent a good portion of my morning recovering from a severe case of the vapors after I opened up Instagram and scrolled past Kumail Nanjiani’s airtight thirst trap. Kumail revealed himself with a shirtless photo to celebrate his recent physical transformation from “regular guy” to “lord Jesus its a fire.” Good thing I was already in bed because when I saw that shit I heard something inside my body go “pop” and proceeded to pass the fuck out. When I came to, I finally understood what people mean when they say “when I finally (fill in the blank), it’s over for you bitches.” In this instance, whether he warned us or not, Kumail went and got ripped for his role in The Eternals, and I’m the bitch it’s over for. My condolations to his wife Emily V. Gordon on this rare occasion where both congratulations and condolences are in order.

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Idris Elba On James Bond And His Jack Nicholson Inspired Performance In “Cats”

If you think I’m using this cover story and interview with Vanity Fair merely as an excuse to spend some quality time reviewing Idris Elba’s Instagram page and post sexy pictures of him, you’re absolutely right. Thankfully, Idris also had some interesting things to say that I can include as text in between the sexy pictures of Idris Elba. Everybody wins!

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Zac Efron Says He’d Love To De-Buff For A Role

Based on some very in-depth research (ie. me staring at pictures of his extra-ripped action figure body for ten minutes), I have estimated that Zac Efron’s body is approximately 106% muscle. I know that technically the most muscle a human body could be made up of is 100%, but look at him. He’s clearly storing a whole bunch of extra muscles behind his other muscles. However, don’t think this jacked-up version of Zac Efron will be around forever. There is the possibility that one day you will see a shirtless picture of Zac Efron, and his body will be missing a matching set of bulgy biceps, a pair of plump titties, a washboard upper-crotch area, and whatever those weird muscles are on the side of your body that look like a litter of sleeping puppies.

While walking the red carpet for his latest movie, Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates, earlier today, Zac Efron confessed to UsWeekly that he’d be willing to say goodbye to his rock-hard body and get heavy for the right role.

“I would love to gain 30 pounds and play an aging rock star. That’d be an awesome transformation.”

Somewhere, Axl Rose heard the words “gain pounds” and “aging rock star” and whispered: “He better not be talking about me.”

I would love to see science figure out a way to make Zac Efron gain weight. I don’t think it’s possible. I’m pretty sure that any calories that go in are instantly burned up the second they attempt to make their way through the Spartan Race that is his abs.

Here are some picture of Zac Efron from the premiere of Mike and Dave with most of his body covered up by a suit. I see he’s still working that Mark McGrath-circa 1997 hair. Also included are some pictures of Adam DeVine riding Zac (not like that), as well as Aubrey Plaza and Anna Kendrick.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com