If you had asked me last week to predict which Penn might get arrested in the future with a bunch of drugs in their car, I would point to Sean Penn, but I’d be very wrong. According to TMZ, Sean’s 24-year-old son Hopper Penn was arrested yesterday in Nebraska for possession of weed and shrooms.
Law enforcement sources say that Hopper and his 26-year-old girlfriend Uma von Wittkamp were pulled over by police outside of Lincoln for failing to signal. While they were stopped, cops detected “drug activity” – which I want to believe is official code for “acting sketchy as hell” – and so they searched the car. Police reportedly found 14 grams of weed, 3 grams of shrooms, and 4 amphetamine pills. Hopper was arrested for just the shrooms and half an ounce of weed, while Uma was booked for the amphetamines and the shrooms.
Radar says that Sean and Robin Wright’s son is being held at the Hamilton County Jail, and that his bail is set at $25,000. It’s not known what Uma’s bail has been set at.
Hopper has dealt with drug issues for a while. Last year he admitted that he spent some time in rehab for a meth addiction in 2014. He also claimed that his trip to rehab happened after his dad asked him whether he wanted rehab or a bus bench. It’s only weed and shrooms, but still – something tells me Hopper might be headed back to rehab. And when he gets out, he should probably try to get a hold of Ryan Gosling. Because based on that mugshot, he could easily pull off playing his brother in one of those movies where Ryan acts like a down-and-out street tough.
Pic: Hamilton County Sheriff
The “the steak doesn’t fall far from the beef jerky-faced tree” jokes are too easy.
Sean Penn has two children with Robin Wright: 25-year-old Dylan Frances and 22-year-old Hopper Jack. According to Hopper, the name written on his birth certificate wasn’t his father’s first choice. Hopper tells Interview magazine that if the decision had been left up to Sean Penn, his name would be Steak Penn. Yes, steak like the food. Why? Because Sean Penn apparently really loves steak.
“My dad wanted to name me Steak, the food, because he loves it so much. But my mom was never going to go for it.”
I never really pictured Sean Penn as being a steak kind of guy. I guess I just always assumed that Sean Penn survived on a diet that consists solely of Carolina Reaper hot peppers and popcorn. Peppers to maintain his high levels of white-hot rage, and popcorn to keep him in a constant state of being perpetually agitated. Nothing is more agitating that trying to always feeling like you’ve got a popcorn kernel stuck in between your teeth.
I can’t really shit on Sean Penn for wanting to name his kid after a type of food. When I was a kid, there was a brand of lactose-free milk called Lactancia, and I thought that was just about the most glamorous name I had ever heard and swore I was going to name a child Lactancia. So, I get it, Sean. I don’t condone it, but I understand.
As for why they chose Hopper instead, Hopper says it was because his dad “idolized” Dennis Hopper, and that his mother claims he hopped in her stomach rather than kicked. He didn’t kick? Really? Are we sure he’s actually Sean Penn’s son?