Category: High Fashion

Open Post: Hosted By Balenciaga’s $9,000 Seven-Layer Parka 

August 30, 2018 / Posted by:

If you thought seven layers belong only in the dip served at a Super Bowl party, you are correct. But I guess Balenciaga had a really good time munching down during the Half Time show this year because the fashion house is trying to smoke $9,000 out of the wallets of its customers with a seven-layer parka comprised of fleece, flannel, down, and probably even actual seven-layer dip ingredients. This shit looks stupid, so naturally, it’s almost sold out.

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Kanye West Explains His Footwear Choices

August 29, 2018 / Posted by:

It must be endlessly frustrating for Kanye West to have his highly advanced philosophies and ideas mocked by the uneducated masses. Kanye goes out of his way to learn and borrow from the best, and when he does, he’s met with derision. Take the Yeezy slides he recently wore to 2-Chainz’ wedding for example. Many pointed out that the slides appeared to be several sizes too small for Kanye’s hoofs. Some said he looked like some old head coming straight from the hospital, shuffling on down to the liquor store at 7AM to get a pint of Courvoisier and a couple of loosies. Might have been me, we can’t be sure. Others claimed Kanye’s fashion statement was a stroke of sheer genius. That was Kanye, and Kanye alone. Well Kanye has a message to his critics. The message is you plebes just don’t get it. He was wearing them in the Japanese style.

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Serena Williams Isn’t Worried About Being Told Her Catsuit Isn’t Appropriate For The French Open

August 27, 2018 / Posted by:

Multitudes of fans of tennis and general badassery rushed to Serena Williams defense when French Tennis Federation President Bernard Giudicelli spoke out against her now famous French Open “catsuit” that she wore earlier this year. According to the Telegraph, Bernard preemptively put the kibosh on any further fashion shenanigans and used Serena’s outfit as an example of what’s not going to be unacceptable moving forward. Thing is, unlike her defenders, Serena’s ok with the criticism. Bernard’s her boi, and it sounds like she’s willing to play along.

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Open Post: Hosted By The “Fanny Pack” Slide By Nike

May 31, 2018 / Posted by:

Move over Crocs, there’s a new shoe in town that’s gonna make Michael K wanna hurl! Nike just announced that it’s now offering a “fanny pack” edition of their absurdly popular Benassi JDI slides. Because, fuck pockets! Also fuck fashion, fuck your eyes, fuck the world, fuck your feet! Oh, I forgot to mention fuck functionality because those stingy little pockets may hold a couple of rolled up bills, but they ain’t holding shit else.

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Jared Leto Presents: “The Gucci Gang” Featuring Lana Del Rey

May 8, 2018 / Posted by:

There weren’t a lot of thruples on the red carpet at the Met Gala last night. But that’s ok, you only need one when that one thrupple is as extra as Jared Leto, Lana Del Rey and Alessandro Michele, the creative director at Gucci. I feel like there’s a long hair in my mouth, Yuck. I actually feel like I have hairs all over me now. Shit!

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Naomi Campbell Flipped Fur Protesters The Bird At A Dolce & Gabbana Event

April 13, 2018 / Posted by:

I don’t know why anybody in this day and age would try to come for Naomi Campbell and think it’s gonna turn out well for them. According to Page Six, a group of animal rights protesters tried it at a Dolce & Gabbana concept store opening in New York. The protesters carried signs that read ““Fur Is Dead” and “Dolce & Gabbana blood on their hands”, the latter being a lot of lettering for one sign so I hope they had good penmanship. When Naomi shantéd up to the door, they screamed at and heckled her. Funeral services for the protesters will be held over the weekend.

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