Move over Crocs, there’s a new shoe in town that’s gonna make Michael K wanna hurl! Nike just announced that it’s now offering a “fanny pack” edition of their absurdly popular Benassi JDI slides. Because, fuck pockets! Also fuck fashion, fuck your eyes, fuck the world, fuck your feet! Oh, I forgot to mention fuck functionality because those stingy little pockets may hold a couple of rolled up bills, but they ain’t holding shit else.
There weren’t a lot of thruples on the red carpet at the Met Gala last night. But that’s ok, you only need one when that one thrupple is as extra as Jared Leto, Lana Del Rey and Alessandro Michele, the creative director at Gucci. I feel like there’s a long hair in my mouth, Yuck. I actually feel like I have hairs all over me now. Shit!
I don’t know why anybody in this day and age would try to come for Naomi Campbell and think it’s gonna turn out well for them. According to Page Six, a group of animal rights protesters tried it at a Dolce & Gabbana concept store opening in New York. The protesters carried signs that read ““Fur Is Dead” and “Dolce & Gabbana blood on their hands”, the latter being a lot of lettering for one sign so I hope they had good penmanship. When Naomi shantéd up to the door, they screamed at and heckled her. Funeral services for the protesters will be held over the weekend.
Sorry guys, watches are cancelled. Clocks too (wall, desk, alarm, grandfather, cuckoo, all of them). Better go ahead smash your cell phone screen too while you’re at it because we will never have to look it them again. Taraji P. Henson made them all obsolete when she dressed for the premiere of her new Tyler Perry movie Acrimony and said “You know what, let me roll up in here wearing a suede bathrobe and let all this mother fuckers know what time it is”.
I really did plotz when I saw these pictures. Taraji poses like a beast! She’s got power pose after power pose on lock. The “who me?”, blam! The “this old thing?”, blam! The “You could never”, blam! The “Not today Satan!”, blam, blam! The “I’m gonna tear you up and spit you out, but fashion“, blam, blam, blam! Honestly, how dare she. When I try to pose it’s more like; “Potato”!, “Potato”! “Potato”! “Yam”! Tariji is daring you to find a flaw and if you do, it’s something wrong with your eyes, Sweetie.
I don’t normally go in for Tyler Perry’s “morality tale” movies but I might have to make an exception for this one. It looks more like a horror movie with Taraji running around looking like a sexy, wronged shark. I wouldn’t be too surprised if you told me that suede robe was made out of the bleached hide of a trifling man.
Kanye West’s fashion companies Yeezy and Unknwn are being sued for ripping off camouflage patterns. I guess good old-fashioned Vietnam War era jungle camo just isn’t good enough for Kanye. With his fashions, as in his private life, Kanye’s always striving to offer most authentic experiences money can buy. According to TMZ, when it came time to refresh Yeezy’s camouflage patterns, Kanye went directly to Jordan Outdoor Enterprises, a company that makes real camo for real hunters with real guns to discuss camo patterns for real scenesters with real IG accounts and real money to burn. However, turns out Kayne may have shot himself in the foot by allegedly skipping a few crucial steps in the licensing process.
The brie and baguette taste a little sour in Paris today because Karl Lagerfeld has turned the City of Lights into the City of Tree Stumps. A few environmentalists noticed Kunty Karl’s forest menagerie looked a little too real and are now protesting in full force because he downed a French forest all in the name of fashion. Tres tree chic! Continue reading