Two days ago, we were talking about how Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck have put their divorce on hold for now. And now we’re back to our regularly scheduled program about how Jennifer Garner is absolutely getting divorced from Ben. Tune in – I don’t know, 16 hours from now? – when another source comes forward claiming that Jen and Ben are planning a vow-renewal ceremony. But for now, sources are saying the divorce is still on.
Yesterday, Jennifer Garner was papped while running errands in Brentwood, and she wasn’t wearing her wedding ring. TMZ and UsWeekly say her ring was MIA because she’s definitely going through with the divorce. Sources tell TMZ that the divorce is “very much on,” and adds that there is no talk of reconciliation. A source tells UsWeekly pretty much the same thing; Jen will move forward with the divorce when the time is right.
A source close to Ben tells UsWeekly that Jen could be taking her time with the divorce because they’re currently getting along. The source also thinks that they could always get back together and that there is a lot of “love and support” between them.
All of this back and forth has come at a perfect time for Jennifer. It’s a good distraction from what people should really be talking about: Nine Lives. It recently got added to Netflix, and I watched about 20 minutes of it before I could feel my brain trying to rip itself from my spinal cord. Jennifer, hurry up and decide what you’re doing with those divorce papers, because we need to have a long hard conversation about your judgement in scripts.
While Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie may have closed the door to their fucked-up divorce fight and put a “privacy please” sign on it (for now), the door to Johnny Depp and Amber Heard’s fucked-up divorce fight remains wide open.
Johnny Depp wasn’t going to let Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie be the only ones to deliver some pre-Christmas legal messiness, now was he?
People reports that Johnny wants Amber Heard to pay 1/10th of the legal fees he racked up in their smegma-covered divorce fight. Johnny’s lawyers filed documents asking the court to force Amber to pay $100,000 of his attorney fees and other legal costs. Johnny says that the mountain of money in his vault of treasures is $1 million lighter, because that’s what he’s paid his lawyer Laura Wasser to deal with this divorce mess. Johnny argued that Amber should pay a piece of that for violating their confidentiality agreement and for filing frivolous motions with the court.
NBC has made the decision to give us the Hedy to Single White Female’s Allie by creating a knock-off of the movie that’s probably going to be cheap, messy and a dog killer (because your dog will contemplate suicide as you force the poor thing to watch the Single White Female TV show with you).
It’s just like that old saying, you know? The couple who wears giant matching diamond rings together, stays together after a cellphone fight in Beverly Hills (that’s a saying, right?). Two weeks ago, Diddy and Cassie reminded everyone they were still together by getting into a messy breakup fight in a car that ended with him stealing her cellphone and her mom calling the police. It sounded like the “U” in Cassie’s “Me & U” was no longer Diddy. However, some sources were saying that nobody was planning a “Congratulations, your crotch is free!” party for Cassie or Diddy just yet, because they breakup a lot and it usually doesn’t last. Looks like the sources were right on that one.
A little more than a month after being released early from jail for good behavior, Dustin Diamond, aka Screech from Saved By The Bell, is back in again. The fuck-up is truly strong with this one. Page Six says that Screech was arrested in Wisconsin on Wednesday after violating the terms of his parole.
An official wouldn’t say how he violated the terms. Maybe he showed the terms a clip of his sex tape? But they did confirm that he was in custody due to a probation whoopsie. Screech was put away for pulling a switchblade on a guy in a bar and stabbing him, so the obvious guess would be that his probation officer caught within 100 feet of a bar or a switchblade or the guy or something. However, sources tells TMZ that Screech’s arrest is drug related. Goddamn it, Screech, didn’t you learn anything from that PSA you made with Brandon Tartikoff? There’s no hope with dope!
I know that Dustin Diamond is like a moth to a forever fucking up flame, but damn if he didn’t go back to jail sooner than I expected. It’s barely been six weeks. Not to mention that only last week he was on Extra telling Mario Lopez that he wanted to put the “tomfoolery and malarkey” behind him and focus on starting a family. Maybe he missed jail too much and wanted to go back. But why? Who misses being in jail? Were Screech and his fellow inmates keeping themselves entertained by acting out old episodes of Saved by the Bell, and his early release fucked up the production schedule? “Look, I need to get back inside. They’re doing the fake IDs episode next week, and I’m the only one who knows the blocking for the scene at The Attic!”