When I first read that Heidi Klum was boning some Tokio Hotel guy I assumed he was a real estate dude with hotels in Tokyo and wondered if I’d been spelling Tokyo wrong my whole life. I did not expect that Heidi would be boning some youth from a boy band called Tokio Hotel! Now I know how my aunt felt when I tried to explain to her what Migos was because she decided to watch Saturday Night Live a couple weeks ago. Now that I know what Tokio Hotel is (conceptually at least), I now understand that 44-year-old Heidi is dating 29-year-old Tom Kaulitz.
Everyone at Bravo cried into the lamé scraps of Mood Fabrics back in 2008 when The Weinstein Company decided to uproot Project Runway and send Heidi Klum, Tim Gunn & Co. to Lifetime. It was definitely a blow to the network built upon a foundation of filming gays making over straights, over-serving middle-aged housewives, and attempts at fashion that would send Michael Kors into fits and shrieks of “It’s too pageant!” Welp, nearly ten years later, TWC is broke after the fall of Harvey Weinstein, and Project Runway is strutting back into the arms of Andy Cohen. Continue reading
Prepare yourself for a pairing so random and late-2000s, it could only be outdone by a headline that reads: Jennifer Aniston finds new love with a box of L’Oréal Feria haircolor in R57. Six months after calling it quits with Vito Schnabel, 44-year-old Heidi Klum got caught kissing 28-year-old Tom Kaulitz, twin brother of human Pokemon Bill Kaulitz, both of the band Tokio Hotel.
Heidi and Tom decided to let everyone know they’re a thing by laying it on thick in front of photographers at an America’s Got Talent event last Sunday.
Heidi Klum the cougar strikes again! https://t.co/fk05m83COv
— Daily Mail Celebrity (@DailyMailCeleb) March 26, 2018
This isn’t technically the first time Heidi and Tom have been spotted out together. On March 14th, they were seen leaving a club in West Hollywood in the same car together. The Daily Mail has pictures of Heidi and Tom kissing, holding hands, and hugging. At one point, Heidi crouches down and grabs onto Tom’s leg. They almost covered all their bases, but my favorite pose – kissing with one leg bent back (aka The G-Rated Romance Novel Cover) – was missing. Oh well, next time.
All jokes about Heidi being a cougar aside, I’m sure she and Tom have a lot to talk about. For example, they’re both from Germany and they could always bond over Victoria’s Secret.
Heidi: “1997 was the first year I walked in the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.”
Tom: “Cool, that’s the same year me and my other 3rd grade friends found an old VS catalogue in the woods!“
But of course this could only be Lady Gaga. While others might think, “You know, maybe this year I’ll walk up the red carpet in a piece that makes it looks like I’m trying to cover up all the hair I lost after leaving my at-home highlighting kit on for too long,” Lady Gaga goes out and does it. She tells her stylist to make her look like a 73-year-old balding hippie who refuses to face the music about their hair situation, and she wears it with pride! As for her outfit, well that’s another story all together.
Hollywood decided to wear black at the Golden Globes last Sunday night in silent protest of the industry’s sexual assault problem. But four days later, most Hollywood people at the Critics’ Choice Awards went with color.
Kate Bosworth didn’t wear color, but she did wear a mess. Kate is wearing a dress by Brock Collection, but if I hadn’t been told who made her dress, I’d assume she went into a formal event showroom on a particularly dry day, collected too much static electricity while trying on a bridal gown with her socks on, and accidentally left the store with a child’s christening gown that was stuck to her. The best part is that the fun didn’t end when Kate turned around.
The American Music Awards aired on CBS last night in order for you to have something to talk about with your weird cousin Trisha over Thanksgiving weekend. The AMA’s are the perfect empty vessel in which to hold your familial conversational obligations. That said, a few attendees did come to slay. Like Hailee Steinfeld, who, thanks to that leather bra and sharp shoulder pad situation, is seen giving you The Bodyguard starring a young Joan Crawford.