Category: Hans Zimmer

Ben Affleck Is Officially Hanging Up His Bat Wings As “The Batman” Moves Forward Without Him

January 31, 2019 / Posted by:

The Batman is dead. Long live The Batman. Ben Affleck can stop patching up his batsuit with Fix a Flat and exhale, because he won’t be returning as The Batman in the upcoming Matt Reeves helmed standalone movie of the same name. This should surprise nobody since Ben’s sloppy brother Casey Affleck already kinda-sorta spilled the beans all down the front of his lumberjack flannel. Also, we could all tell that Ben’s heart wasn’t in it anymore. We’ll never forget when Ben tried to snag an Oscar for his stirring portrayal of STAINS The Dog (Dlisted’s Hot Slut of The Year, 2009) during that press conference with Superman. If Ben still loved The Batman, he would have gotten the Bat Signal tattooed on his back instead of a fire turkey.

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Hans Zimmer Quit Scoring Batman Movies Because He Wasn’t Feeling Ben Affleck

March 18, 2017 / Posted by:

What a coincidence! Jennifer Garner also quit enduring having to hire 400 pound nannies with leprosy because she wasn’t feeling Ben Affleck! (Or did she?)

Superstar film composer Hans Zimmer is fucking done professionally scoring Batman movies. He was so enamored of Christian Bale’s laughably growly take on Batman that Ben Affleck’s interpretation (that would seemingly be “florid and premenstrual“) left him feeling hollow inside.

FYI, Hans. Ben Affleck’s version of Batman has left a lot of people feeling hollow inside. Such as comic book geeks, the citizens of Gotham City, any poor bastard actor they’ve approached to play the inevitable role of Robin, etc. The list goes on.

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