They’ve barely been married a month, yet Hailey Baldwin’s sobering influence has already made an indelible mark on Justin Bieber. Gone are the wispy “Barbie doll that has seen some shit” strands of gold that once enveloped Justin’s head like the mane of a jaundiced lion with rickets and mange. Justin Bieber has shaved his head. According to People, Justin posted his transformation yesterday in an Instagram story, when just a few months ago he had vowed he’d never cut his hair again. He said he was going to grow it down to his toes. He lied.
Aside from telling the occasional random stranger, Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin have been keeping quiet their marriage and there’s a bit of the stale air of mystery hanging over whether or not they actually shackled themselves together for life since they didn’t do it in the eyes of the Big Dog, God. Well, the couple has come one step closer to acknowledging their legal union, because Hailey has just trademarked the name “Hailey Bieber“. And just like that, a marriage is confirmed and a new hashtag is born.
It’s time for Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin to check off the next box on their newlyweds to-do list. The first was to keep quiet for as long as possibly regarding their marriage, and apparently numbers two and three are to confirm their marriage to strangers and consider purchasing the home that a fellow pop star recently overdosed in. So romantic.
Selena Gomez is having a tough time lately and has reportedly checked into a mental health facility for treatment for anxiety and depression. It seems like she’s having a breakdown is awful and all, but what about the person for whom this situation is really hurting? How is Selena’s ex Justin Bieber weathering this storm, you’ve probably wondered? Answer: Not well. And the joy that must spring from getting secretly married without a prenup to a model isn’t helping with his sadness and guilt over his ex. E! reports that Justin is having a hard time and acting like he might be at fault for some of Selena’s pain. Leave it to Bieber (see what I did there) to make the pain of a woman suffering from anxiety and depression supposedly related to her ongoing battle with lupus in addition to complications from a kidney transplant all about him.
It was yesterday we learned that Stephen Baldwin is signing out loud, “We’re in the mooooonay!“, after it was reported that Hailey Baldwin and Justin Bieber did get married after all and did it without a prenup. Well, Justin and Hailey fans (and if you exist, I’m judging you), sorry but hold that celebratory vape hit you took and press pause on the terrible SoundCloud rapper you’re trying to introduce to all your friends; they ain’t married yet. At least, not according to the one person who matters: GOD.
So I guess Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin are like legit married? This is what we can confirm? It sure is what TMZ is saying is the truth. We know they for sure got a marriage license and were chilling at a courthouse. But Hailey denied they were married. So they are most likely married, but for some reason are being weird about it. Maybe TMZ has insight into that weirdness, because according to them: there is no prenup. Congrats Hailey, and Stephen Baldwin who now has a new job: calling his daughter every day for a loan.