Here I was thinking that there was no way in this life or the next that my dream of getting tag-teamed by Prince Hot Ginge, Idris Elba and Alexander Skarsgard on a bed of Double Doubles would ever come true, but it might! Because Kim Kartrashian actually told the truth about something and that means absolutely anything is possible!
Yesterday, we were gifted with a schadenfreude-filled video of Justin Bieber flexing like the hardest toddler at the indoor playground while attempting to fight a stranger in Cleveland after game 3 of the NBA Finals on Wednesday night. The circumstances of the fight were all kinds of vague; all we really knew was that Justin went for a dude three times his size and got laid the fuck out. Well, the dude who whooped his ass has spoken about the situation and has filled in the blanks for us.
The Baby Brother Tommy doll that was possessed by a Summer’s Eve bottle learned a really, really important lesson in Cleveland last night. Bitch learned that he should never try to fight a trick unless he’s got several of his big bad bodyguards around to do the beating for him, because he has the fighting skills of a Furby with a half-dead battery in it. The first rule of Toddler Fight Club for Justin Bieber is to not do the fighting himself, because it doesn’t end well.
I don’t know if that middle finger is deliberate or accidental, but since this is a story about how much Robin Wright dislikes Sean Penn, it’s more fun to pretend it’s deliberate.
When Sean Penn’s latest film, The Last Face, premiered at Cannes, the critics thought it was stinkier than the stink-eye Charlize Theron gave him at the premiere. If Sean Penn cared about the reviews and had enough moisture in his dehydrated tear ducts to cry, I’m sure the LOLs and boooos would have triggered a few salty ones to roll down his face. Well, Sean’s ex-wife Robin Wright is loving all the bad reviews.
A source tells Page Six that Robin had been trying to develop The Last Face for years, and it was sort of a passion project for her. She apparently planned on starring in it with Ryan Gosling and Javier Bardem (who did end up being in it), but couldn’t secure the financing for it. After Sean and Robin split up in 2010, he went ahead and obtained the rights to The Last Face. Damn, I knew Sean Penn was cold, but I didn’t realize he was steal-a-script cold.
Page Six claims that the source told them several years ago that Robin was sure Sean optioned the script for The Last Face just to be a vindictive twat. They also say that Robin was really depressed at the thought of it being a success and Charlize winning an Oscar for it. The Last Face currently holds a rating of 7% on Rotten Tomatoes, so I don’t think she has to worry about that. But her frown turned upside down when she found out The Last Face was a bonafide flop at Cannes.
“Robin is thrilled the movie bombed. She has too much class to say so publicly, but this was her baby.”
Another source says that watching her ex-husband crash and burn so shortly after it was revealed that she had successfully increased the numbers on her House of Cards paycheck has got her “quietly smirking while smoking by a window.” I don’t know if that’s a metaphor or she’s literally smirking while smoking at a window, but it sounds like the definition of living your best life. Every SuperSoul Sunday should end with Oprah wishing you a smirk-and-smoke-by-the-window moment.
If your name is Rachel or Rachael or Roy or even Ray and you’ve got an Instagram page, you better look for a RAID emoji real quick. Because the eyes of the Beyhive are filled with so much blind rage that they don’t even know who they’re attacking anymore.
It’s not exactly shaping up to be a great week for secondary kharacters on Keeping Up With The Kardashians. First Khloe Kardashian decides that it’s time to stop pretending to care about Lamar Odom’s problems (and maybe to take a look at those divorce papers again). Then Kanye West gets kaught ranting about being an “artist” again. Now TMZ is saying that Kylie Jenner’s broke boyfriend might have to say goodbye to another one of his leased luxury cars.
According to documents obtained by TMZ (aka dropped off on their doorstep by Blac Chyna before her trip to the fire station with Fiance Rob), Tyga owes a whole lot of money to a car loan company called Choice Motor Credit. Tyga hasn’t made any payments on his 2013 Lamborghini Aventador, and now CMC is coming after him for $357,350.77. If Tyga can’t come up with the money, they’re going to repossess his Lamborghini.
This isn’t Tyga’s first repo rodeo with Choice Motor Credit. Back in February, CMC took back Tyga’s 2014 Bentley Mulsanne. TMZ says Tyga still owes CMC more than $91,000 for that Bentley. This also isn’t his first time getting in trouble for being too broke to pay the bills. Back in August, it was revealed that Tyga owed two different landlords a combined total of $150,000 in unpaid rent (with one landlord threatening to evict his deadbeat ass). A month later he was busted giving his girlfriend a $260,000 Ferrari for her birthday that was leased in her name.
Maybe if Tyga is lucky, his sugar teen will swoop in and save the day, and he won’t have to part with his Lamborghini. And if that doesn’t happen, he could always ask one of the producers of Keeping All These Kunts Relevant for an advance on his paycheck. I’d say he could also ask for an advance from his real job, but I’m not entirely sure he still has one of those.
Here’s Tyga’s girlfriend and the factory mold she was cast from (who appears to be cosplaying a hooker from The Matrix) at a recording studio earlier today.