Well well well, what do we have here? A family-values politician who might have accidentally outed himself as a porn hound. You know, I always got the feeling Senator Ted Cruz was a bumbling doofus. But little did I know he was the type of doofus who could absolutely screw up a late-night online porn search. Congratulations, Ted – you succeeded at something! What? Being an idiot is technically something.
Last year, former Playboy Playmate Dani Mathers earned her own special wing in the Rude Bitch Hall of Fame after she body shamed an older naked woman in her gym change room on Snapchat. Since then, things haven’t gone so great for Dani and they’re not getting any better. I’m sure a single sympathetic tear just rolled down your eye.
This week, Bow Wow (formerly Lil, currently going by his real name, Shad Moss) was dragged up and down the internet after he was caught trying to fake a life of luxury on Instagram. On Monday, Bow Wow posted a braggy picture of a private jet and claimed that he was flying to New York to do press for Growing Up Hip Hop Atlanta. He was telling the truth about flying to New York; he was lying about how he was getting there. The following day, Twitter user @Al_Khee tweeted a Snapchat showing that Bow Wow had actually been flying commercial. That jet picture? Bow Wow ripped it off a website. And that’s how this week’s hottest meme, #BowWowChallenge, was born.
Ghost in the Shell made a grand total of $19 million at the domestic box office this past weekend and that’s almost enough to cover the movie’s wig budget. What am I saying? That busted and raggedy “Moe Howard with two weave pieces taped to its sides” wig didn’t even cost $19. Ghost in the Shell, which cost $110 million to make, came in third behind The Boss Baby, which isn’t a Donald Trump biopic, ($49 million) and Beauty and the Beast ($47.5 million). Yeah, Ghost in the Shell got its ass beat bad by a yodeling CGI buffalo and a bossy computer animated baby in a teeny tiny Men’s Wearhouse suit.
Ed Sheeran almost got interesting earlier this month when he took a sword right to the face. Britain’s chastest pop star was hanging out with Princess Beatrice, James Blunt, and his girlfriend (maybe wife?) Cherry Seaborn at the Princess’s palace when James suggested that he’d like to be knighted. Wacky hijinks ensue!
For the first time in recent memory, Tyga has a reason to wake up and get his ass out of the bed Kylie Jenner probably bought for him. Tyga is currently participating in a debtors examination over the unpaid jewelry bill he owes to Jason of Beverly Hills. The only problem is, that exam isn’t going so well because Tyga’s memory isn’t good when it comes to explaining how his money is spent on his girlfriend.