The most bullied person in the world Melania Trump is finally speaking out about that tacky as fuck Zara jacket that she wore in June during her visit to the facility housing children separated from their immigrant parents on the US-Mexico border. Melania gave an interview to ABC News that aired last night, and she was able to skirt around a few issues, including how she felt about Trump’s numerous affairs and that Access Hollywood “grab ’em by the Kit-Kat” tape. But one issue she did come clean about is THAT JACKET and why the crap she decided to wear it on her visit to the children’s detention center, when she should have just worn her 101 Dalmatians puppy fur coat instead.
The bleach poured on my fingertips, eyeball holes, brain stem, nerves, basically all of the parts of my body (down low included) is still dripping after writing about SNL covering the Brett Kavanaugh hearings in DC, and before it even has a chance to dry I must now turn our attentions over to the shady dealings of Hollywood. I never thought I’d long for a day where the most exciting headline would be “Chris Pratt And Katherine Schwarzenegger Eat Potato Salad After Church“, but alas we are living in a new day where the cockroaches have no where to run when the lights turn on, so instead of a potentially saccharine headline, we are left instead with “Kevin Spacey Is Being Sued For Allegedly Groping A Massage Therapist“.
At Drake’s concert in Philadelphia last week, he called out a female fan in the front row, stopping mid-song to tell “Shorty” that her appearance was stirring feelings in his loins. ONTD ran with the headline “Drake Flirts With Fan During Concert“, but it’s more like “Drake Throws Down His Subtle Moves On A Fan During Concert“. As the fan eats it all up, Drake lays it on extra thick and tells her that he loves her licking his lips at him and that he loves the pearl necklace… she’s wearing. See, I told you, subtle.
When it comes time for us gays to be thrown into the camps, Jabba the Trump better give me the middle bunk between Ricky Martin and his hot piece of a husband for copy and pasting a Mario Kart Mushroom that is six times bigger than what Stormy Daniels claims he’s working with for real.
“Mario Kart” has been trending all day today, and at first I figured it was because there’s a new game, or it’s the anniversary of that shit, or maybe Super Mario was killed off in a tragic kart accident. It’s a billion times worse than the last one. “Where were you the day you clicked on Mario Kart on Twitter” is the moment that will haunt us all thanks to Stormy Daniels’ evil ass.
Olivia Munn Says She’s Gotten Little Support From Her “Predator” Castmates After Calling Out A Sex Offender
Recently we all learned that Twentieth Century Fox cut a scene from The Predator after Olivia Munn let them know that the dude she did the scene with is a registered sex offender. Director Shane Black knew about the whole sex offender registration but chose to cast the guy anyway since he wanted to “help a friend.”
To Olivia, it seemed like a no-brainer getting rid of the guy who tried to lure a 14-year-old girl into a sexual relationship over the internet, especially one who the sex offender himself described as a “distant relative”. But apparently, not everyone agrees with her.
I came of age on the social fringes of the gutter punks and squatters who viewed catching a little case of the bed bugs (or scabies or crabs, for that matter) as a crusty rite of passage. They would be raising a brown bag of Mickey’s 40 OZ to Brazilian model Sabrina Jales St. Pierre whom People announced is suing Palm Desert Embassy Suites for allegedly giving her a bad case of the skin nibbles caused by bed bugs. Try to get through this story without itching and you win a gold star.