Our stomachs aren’t going to make it through this year… First, many prepared to wet heave up their insides after it was wrongly reported that Stormy Daniels’ lawyer claimed they’ve got pictures of Donald Trump’s chipotle-dipped dick. And now we’re hearing that another living human actually said, “Ok!”, to doing Donald Trump Jr. The night that Jabba the Trump became the Overlord of the United States, overused bronzer puff Aubrey O’Day re-tweeted anti-Trump tweets, and when someone tweeted at her, “really? But you was on trump show!!! Why are you mad that the checks stopped coming!“, she dropped this dramatic foreboding nugget:
“No. my story I didn’t tell is worth millions now 😉 …this doesn’t hurt me, it hurts America.”
Many figured that she had a story involving Trump’s pussy grabbin’ claws of doom, but the story is that Aubrey rubbed her bare parts all over Don Jr’s no-neck area while his wife Vanessa Trump was pregnant with their third child. Picturing Don Jr. slamming his naked carcass against Aubrey O’Day is causing my already-tortured eyes to burn. Do-do you got a first aid kit handy? But really, a member of Danity Kane being a part of an ESCANDALO with a Trump in this day and age? Welcome to 2018.
Anyone with a career in robotics repair is in for a busy week. Ryan Seacrest’s former stylist has come forward with detailed allegations of sexual harassment and assault, and something tells me the highest-functioning animatronic of the E! Network has blown several fuses over it.
Nelly used to be the Band-Aid enthusiast who gave instructions on the best way to deal with a sudden rise in indoor temperature (1. Take off all your clothes). Lately he’s been known more as someone who has been racking up sexual assault allegations. A few weeks ago, Nelly was accused for a second and third time of sexual assault by two women in the UK, known only as Jane Doe 1 and Jane Doe 2. One of those allegations caught the attention of the police, and now Nelly is under a criminal investigation.
As if I even needed to specify it was Ivanka Trump.
It’s been alleged that porn star Stormy Daniels was paid $130,000 a month before the election to keep quiet about an affair she had with Donald Trump in 2006. The only thing is, Stormy originally spoke to In Touch in 2011 about the affair, long before she allegedly took the $130,000 and signed an NDA. So yesterday InTouch Weekly was like, here, have at it, folks, and republished parts of their story.
The physical manifestation of a wink from a drunk at a bar, James Franco, and his brother Dave Franco, were scheduled to give a talk tonight in association with The New York Times about their new film The Disaster Artist. But James and Dave’s TimesTalk isn’t happening, and it’s not because James is still fighting with Tommy Wiseau over control of the mic.
Children of the 80s, be prepared, because this story will ruin Uncle Phillip from Webster for you. And your eyes may be giving you the truth if you read his hat as, “sexual enforcer.”
In 2015, Tony winner Ben Vereen directed a community theater production of Hair (he was in the original Broadway production) at the Venice Theater in Venice, FL, and several of the female cast members say that he took the show’s theme of free love to horrific and illegal levels of NO. Now it makes sense as to why The Leading Player from Pippin supported Bill Cosby and wondered, “Aren’t there more important things to talk about in this world?” I bet ole’ Ben is wishing we’d go back to talking about Cosby instead of him.