Thrush medicine’s new favorite sort-of couple Bella Thorne and Scott Disick left Los Angeles for Cannes on Monday, because they obviously needed to be where they could get the most possible exposure. Since arriving, they wasted no time in stealing a little attention away from all the other fame whores currently in Cannes. UsWeekly says 33-year-old Scott and 19-year-old Bella Thorne were seen “pouvez-nouille-ent” (that’s my attempt at translating “canoodling” to French) at a villa in Cannes yesterday.
— Us Weekly (@usweekly) May 24, 2017
That picture was taken after Bella and Scott jumped in the pool with their clothes on. After they got out, Bella stripped down to her swim suit, but I see Scott didn’t. Smart move on Scott’s part; there’s nothing unsexier than watching someone struggle to pull off a pair of wet jeans.
A source tells Entertainment Tonight the obvious:
“They’re just hooking up. It’s nothing serious. They have known each other for a while now.”
Scott was later seen alone at a club just down the street from the club where Kourtney Kardashian and her current boyfriend were hanging out. Scott is going to get in so much trouble when Kris Jenner finds out about that. He had the opportunity to be photographed “accidentally” showing up at the same club as his reason for relevance, with his latest reason for relevance, and he didn’t? The nerve! What’s the point of even going to Cannes if you aren’t going put in the fame whore effort? Honestly, Scott, I’m starting to think you don’t even want to start unnecessary drama anymore.
Last week, it was announced that music producer Antonio Marquis “L.A.” Reid is out as chairman of Sony’s Epic Records after six years. L.A. vaguely hinted about his departure from Epic on Twitter with an inspirational quote about not confusing a single defeat with a final defeat. It sounds like there might have been more than just a single defeat that lead to his departure. According to the New York Post, 60-year-old L.A. was fired after a female co-worker complained of several instances of sexual harassment.
Before last night’s new episode of Survivor: Game Changers aired, one of its contestants, former HSOTD Zeke Smith, publicly came out as transgender, because he wanted to get ahead of the moment when a fellow contestant outed him. So going into last night’s episode, I knew he was going to be outed, but I had no idea it was going to happen in such an uncomfortably gross way. Last week I found out that the Nuku tribe actually killed and ate that baby goat instead of letting it go like editing led us to believe, and NOW THIS!
Sarah Paulson, Cuba Gooding Jr., Kathy Bates, and some other cast members of American Horror Story: Roanoke all got together for a panel discussion at the 34th annual PaleyFest in Los Angeles on Sunday. Since Cuba seems to be currently starring in his own personal series called American Mess Story, Cuba decided to give everyone in the audience an eye-full of Sarah’s ass by yanking at the back of her skirt. As you may have guessed, some people were not having it.
The Daily Mail says that sad man Tom Hiddleston recently told an unsexy story during an appearance on The Graham Norton Show about peeing on his Night Manager co-star Tom Hollander. They were filming in Mallorca and Tom Hollander decided to go for a swim. He swam into a group of jellyfish and one stung him. Tom Hiddleston claims Tom Hollander asked if he’d pull a Chandler and piss on his jellyfish sting.
“He shouted across the beach, ‘I say old sport could you come and pee on me?’ and I engagingly obliged. I’ve since read up on it and it don’t think it works – it’s an old wives’ tale.”
How kind of Tom to agree to pee on other Tom’s jellyfish sting. Except that’s not how Tom Hollander remembers it. Tom Hollander told the same story on The Jonathan Ross Show about a year ago. And according to Tom Hollander, it was Tom Hiddleston’s idea to pee on the sting. In fact, it sounds like he wasted no time in pulling out his dick and giving Tom Hollander a golden shower.
I feel like Kevin Costner in JFK. What’s the TRUTH, Tom? Did Tom Hiddleston volunteer or was he coerced into it? Does he do this all the time? Is he a re-pee-t pisser? Does he get his rocks off by waiting in the water hoping someone will scream “Ow, I got stung!“? Only the Toms know for sure.
Now I can’t help but wonder about those pics of Tom swimming in the ocean with Taylor Swift during the Fourth of July weekend. Especially that pic of Ryan Reynolds looking extremely uncomfortable in Tom and Taylor’s presence. Did something happen in the water that weekend, Ryan? What did you see?!?
A few days ago it was reported that Rooney Mara and Joaquin Phoenix, clearly all horny from the sexual tension that comes from playing Mary and Jesus, had hooked up while shooting Mary Magdalene together. A source claimed Rooney bailed on the Golden Globes because she was holed up in the desert with Joaquin. As it turns out, that source wasn’t being too subtle when they said Rooney and Joaquin were “holed up.” Page Six claims that one of the things they’ve been doing in the desert has been pouring juice into one hole and flushing it out through another.
A source says that Rooney and Joaquin have already entered the stage of their relationship that includes couples colonics. It’s just like what that old man from the eHarmony ads is always saying: the couple that gets their ass cavities professionally blasted with lukewarm water together, stays together. Rooney and Joaquin are reportedly spending time at the We Care Spa in Desert Hot Springs, CA. It all sounds incredibly romantic.
“They are there continuing to ‘find love,’ but also some health, as he is doing his annual pilgrimage to the spa. Joaquin and his lady love are down for some R&R, sipping juices and a few colonics…good times!”
Who knew that juice and colonics was an annual thing for Joaquin? I wonder if the spa ever tries to sell him on any other amenities. “You know, Mr. Phoenix, we also offer a colonic for your whole body. It’s called a shower. Just the colonic today? Okay.”