Category: Grimes

Elon Musk Got Charged With The Rich People Crime Of Securities Fraud

September 28, 2018 / Posted by:

It’s gonna be a rough weekend for Elon Musk. The Tesla billionaire who recently probably broke up with his android-voiced alien pop princess, Grimes, is being charged. No, not for that stuff about him calling that cave rescuer a pedophile (even though he is still getting sued for defamation as well). Elon is being charged with a more corporate-style crime: securities fraud.

People is reporting that the US Securities and Exchange Commission slapped the 47-year-old billionaire with the charges after that whole saga of Elon maybe taking Tesla private and Tweeting about a $420 stock price and some secured funding.

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Azealia Banks Shared Texts From Grimes Bragging About Elon Musk’s Big Dick

August 20, 2018 / Posted by:

Elon Musk’s quest to out Howard Hughes in the messy billionaire department continues apace. You’d think Elon, with all his investors and employees to answer to, would be a little more careful about the company he keeps but nah. Last week, with the help of his dirty girlfriend Grimes, Elon got himself embroiled in a bit of a situation which led to Azealia Banks camped out at his house, presumably trying to help out the maid by airing out his dirty laundry for him. Now come to find out, not only did Grimes invite the crazy right on into the mansion, she also causally dished about Elon’s big dick to her in a series of text messages. And somehow, against all rational thought and logic, Grimes thought that Azealia would keep that conversation confidential.

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Azealia Banks Has Been Waiting And Waiting At Elon Musk’s House For Grimes To Show Up 

August 13, 2018 / Posted by:

Azealia Banks is obviously over that whole Nick Cannon feud which made her cancel her album Fantasea II: The Second Wave, because she’s apparently still working on it. Stereogum is reporting that the angriest rapper to ever need a GoFundMe to support her fighting habits, has been hard at work on her new album. Recently Azealia tweeted about the new music and some of the people she’s working with:

“Omg I’m listening to f2!!! All the songs are finished except lorelei and grimes song… I have a session next week with Alex Carapetis to lock lorelei down. Then I go to LA to finish grimes and oh yes!! Finish Paradiso two! But daaaaaaaamn there’s some heat!”

As you know, Grimes has been getting on billionaire Elon Musk after the two shared a shooting star ride through the galaxy of their wavelengths. Or something. Grimes has been staying at her new man’s place because when you’re dating a billionaire why the fuck wouldn’t you want to live at their house? Heated floors, fridges that speak to you, a robotic service staff with advanced medical knowledge and on-demand cannabis; obviously its the place to be… at least for a little while.

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Grimes Came To Boyfriend Elon Musk’s Defense Because Billionaires Need Our Help

July 26, 2018 / Posted by:

Grimes has somehow managed to snag one of the very few billionaires under 50, so it makes sense that’s she’d go hard to defend her man, Elon Musk. Even if he is kind of a tool. Last week Grimes’ benefactor found himself under scrutiny for making a big donation to some right wing, Republican organizations. It’s a requirement that I think is in the Billionaire Handbook which is handed to newly minted billionaires in a secret ceremony involving goat’s blood and takes place in a clubhouse in an underground bunker.

The problem is that Elon is a climate change affirmer, which is at odds with the Republican platform which thinks we should all just take our sweaters off and quit complaining. Elon defended himself saying he gives way more to environmental groups. A Grimes fan #tooktotwitter to tell her she should break up with Elon because of his republican associations. Rather than simply keeping her mouth shut, Grimes shot back.

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