It’s a small blessing Suge Knight looks good in orange (that’s the first and last compliment I’ll ever give to him), because he could possibly spend the next 28 years head-to-toe in the color. According to TMZ and CNN, Suge Knight’s 2015 hit-and-run murder case is finally over and it ended with him pleading “no contest” to manslaughter.
Considering that less than a month ago he was found guilty of three counts of aggravated indecent assault for drugging and sexually assaulting Andrea Constand, Bill Cosby’s probably doing just fine. He’s on house arrest and is posted up in his Pennsylvania mansion which probably isn’t even haunted. His wife Camille still, I’m sure, brings him his slippers every morning and plants a sweet kiss on her favorite grotesque head mole. But his ordeal isn’t over yet. According to CNN, the 80-year-old Cosby has a sentencing hearing scheduled for September 24th and 25th where he could face up to 30 years in prison (that’s 10 years for each count). However, the likelihood of him rotting away in a jail cell and turning into Ghost Dad for reals, is small.