Suddenly, the guard moving the TV remote in the prison day room is the least of Bill Cosby’s worries. Deadline reports that an L.A. Superior Court judge has just granted a woman named Judy Huth a trial date of October 17, 2019 for her civil suit against Bill, accusing him of sexually assaulting her at the Playboy Mansion when she was 15. That means he’s being accused of child sexual assault, which is not going help his case for getting double Jell-Os on Wednesdays.
If you didn’t believe in karma before, Harvey Weinstein’s life might make you believe in it now. Going to sex rehab certainly hasn’t made the allegations against him go away. The ongoing saga of Harvey’s karma continues and we’re into the part where people start suing.
Someone’s impatient and not willing to wait for a ruling! Slothful socks manufacturer Rob Kardashian and his plucky stripper ex Blac Chyna are currently brawling over property, money, and custody of Dream Kardashian, aka “2017’s Least Envied Baby.” Rob recently transitioned from a career in torture porn (meaning any television shows/paparazzi shots/social media posts featuring this gruesome twosome) to revenge porn when he posted explicit pics of Blac without her permission. This skank move might have been the motivation for Blac to allegedly try and leave a lawyer’s office in Rob’s Range Rover. Without his consent. Continue reading
Today in Los Angeles, Gloria Allred held another one of her signature press conferences where she announced that her client Summer Zervos has filed a defamation lawsuit against Donald Trump. Gloria says that Trump defamed Summer by calling her a liar when she accused him of grabbing her breasts and kissing her without permission when she met him for what she thought was a job interview in 2007. “Your honor, we ask that you dismiss this case on the basis that we all know my client doesn’t grab tits. He grabs pussies!” – Trump’s laywer, probably
Poor Johnny Depp has been crying greasy tears lately, and it’s not because his housekeeper “accidentally” put all his favorite filthy hobo scarves into the washing machine with a cup of bleach and set it to sanitize. People magazine says that Johnny is upset, and it’s all his estranged wife Amber Heard’s fault. According to a source, Johnny is really hurt by Amber’s recent accusations that he’s a mean drunk who assaulted her with an iPhone.
The source describes his current condition as being “an emotional mess.” Thankfully he has touring around Europe with his band, The Hollywood Vampires, and drinking with random fans till 4am to keep his mind off the shit show that is his life.
“The concerts and the tour are good for him. He doesn’t want to let his fans down. It’s the best distraction. He is still very upset about his mom and about all the Amber drama.”
The source adds that his team is keeping a close watch on him to make sure he doesn’t get out of control with the boozing. Adds another “source” whose breath probably smells like stinky tonsils and dirty silver tooth caps: “Yeah, and they’re being a real buzzkill.”
While Johnny is staring emotionally out his hotel window and drawing a broken heart in the condensation from his hot breath, what is Amber getting up to? When J Harvey reported this this weekend that Amber is suing comedian Doug Stanhope for defamation of character, he included a bunch of recent pictures of her leaving an office building in Beverly Hills. As it turns out, it was the office belonging to Gloria Allred. A source tells People that Amber was meeting with Gloria for a four-hour “consultation” on Friday.
Gloria hasn’t held a press conference to confirm that she’s representing Amber yet, so we can’t be sure that that’s a thing that will happen. But if it does, then it may soon be time to upgrade Johnny’s condition from “emotional mess” to “public relations nightmare.” The only thing worse than seeing the words “Amber Heard accuses Johnny Depp of something else” is seeing it followed by “….and here’s a very upset Gloria Allred to tell you all about it.”
Earlier today, Elmo’s former voice Kevin Clash turned his I QUIT THIS BITCH letter into Sesame Street’s human resources office right after TMZ said that a second accuser filed a lawsuit against him. That second accuser, Cecil Singleton, is suing Kevin Clash for $5 million in damages, because he claims that dry humping on Kevin when he was just 15 years old left him emotionally scarred. Cecil and his lawyer held a press conference in NYC today and he wanted to make a few things clear: Elmo dry humped him, but they didn’t do butt sex until years later.
Cecil, whose eyebrow situation tells me that he’s all business, told reporters this afternoon that after meeting Kevin Clash on a gay chat line in 2003, they “dated” for about two weeks. During that two weeks, Kevin took him out to fancy dinners and sprinkled money all over him. Cecil and Kevin kissed, dry humped, fapped and groped on each other, but it never went beyond that. Cecil says he broke shit off, because Kevin wanted a more serious relationship and he wasn’t ready for that. They kept in contact and after Cecil became legal, they took things all the way.
This is ten kinds of messy and I’m left with a million questions. Why is Kevin Clash doing this to us? Why were people still using phone chat lines in the year 2003? Why do I wish this can go to trial and be televised on CNN HD so I can watch Cecil Singleton whip his mane as he sashays up to the stand to testify? Is Cecil Singleton half unicorn or full unicorn? Is Cecil Singleton the name of a Tennessee Williams character, because it sounds like one? And more importantly, where is Gloria Allred in all of this?!
Gloria Allred should’ve sniffed Elmo’s saliva on Cecil Singleton’s ass from ten thousand miles away. Gloria would’ve made this press conference so much better. She would’ve made Cecil act out his relationship with Kevin Clash using a Tickle-Me-Elmo. Cecil Singleton made a huge mistake by not hiring the publicity stunt ringmaster that is Gloria Allred.