Naya Rivera wasn’t always the outlet mall version of Kim Kardashian. She was also once an actress on a very successful show about constantly-singing teenagers called Glee. Naya has written a soon-to-be released memoir called Sorry Not Sorry, because even though she’s only 29, she tells People that she’s “done a lot of living” and is a “79-year-old trapped in a 29-year-old’s body.” One of the things she’s done in her 29 years that she’s sorry not sorry for is having an abortion. She’d also said that it happened during the filming of Glee on one of her days off.
According to Star (via Daily Mail) professional bitchy sorority girl and the Ghost of Blake Lively Future Gwyneth Paltrow is doing Brad Falchuk, the creator of Glee and a dude who sort of looks like Jonathan Cheban with all the slow-looking lizard Photoshopped out of his face. A source claims Gwyneth and Brad spent a weekend back in June together at the $8,000 a night Armangiri resort in Utah, where they had dinner and hung out by the pool. Extra gross note: the source says Gwyneth was topless.
They first met on the set of Glee back in 2010 when she guest starred as “Gwyneth Paltrow Trying To Make Singing Gwyneth Paltrow Happen Again” (aka “Holly Holiday”). Brad’s wife filed for divorce in March of 2013 and Gwyneth announced she was calling it quits with Chris Martin in March of 2014. Insert Church Lady How Conveeeeenient here. NO! I’m sure she wasn’t wrapping her organic free-range pussy around Brad’s trouser mic on the set of Glee. If anything, they probably bonded over their mutual eye roll-inducing contributions to American culture (Goop.com, Lea Michele).
But don’t start monogramming the hand-woven endangered Italian silkworm towels just yet, because I don’t see this lasting very long. An $8,000 a night resort in Utah? EW BRAD, HOW DARE YOU?!?! You might as well have just pulled up to a dilapidated Motel 6 off the interstate and told her to grab some snacks from the vending machine while you negotiate for a room that doesn’t smell like Beefaroni and used condoms. Actually, that’s probably the first thing she said when they pulled up to Armangiri. “Yuck, why does it smell like poors here? Is that water in the pool? I only swim in imported cultured pearl dew from the moons of Venus. I hate you, take me home.”
Chris Colfer, the baby dolphin with human legs and arms who has played Kurt on Glee since the beginning, tweeted this out today:
Some took that to mean that those Blind Items are made of truth and in the behind-the-scenes game of Hunger Games that the Glee cast is playing, Darren Criss got Chris Colfer killed off. But I took it to mean that Chris Colfer finally had a nervous breakdown after the costume department insisted that his character still dress like a 70s era gay on a Peter Allen-themed cruise (or like Monroe from Too Close For Comfort).
A quick minute after that tweet went up, Chris’ manager, agent, publicist, assistant, assistant’s second cousin, first grade teacher, substitute first grade teacher, the first dude he blew and the dolphin dentist who cleans his baby teeth all screamed the word “HACKED!” and claimed that Chris Colfer didn’t tweet that shit. Chris Colfer is not leaving Glee. It was a Third of July prank.
But really, who thought that Kurt got fired? They need Kurt for the final episode. They need every ho from that show even that blonde cheerleader they all hate. They need them all. Because in the last episode, Sue Sylvester is finally going to lose her mind and slaughter all of those annoying brats for slaughtering song after song after song after song. Then as those brats’ dead, bloody bodies lie in a mountain of carnage, Lea Michele will climb on top of those corpses she’s more talented than and sing a Barbra Streisand melody while a montage of Rachel’s greatest moments play. It’ll be the perfect metaphor and a perfect ending. So yeah, they need Kurt. They need his dead, bloody body!
And here’s Lea Michele in a totally natural and not-at-all set-up photo shoot with her hooker whore boyfriend in L.A. yesterday. These were all taken on the same day. That bitch really is a high school drama student to the core. Even her staged photo shoots have costume changes.
Almost two weeks ago, TMZ said that the fourth place loser of a Barbra Streisand sound-alike karaoke contest Lea Michele and the prototype for a Kim Kardashian Bratz doll Naya Rivera were both involved in a messy situation on the Glee set that ended with one of them dramatically leaving the set. Blind Gossip also had a blind item about how Naya’s engagement to Big Sean ended after one of her co-stars (hmmm, I wonder who that was?) hopped on his tube pillow dick. Well, this morning PopWrapped (via NYDN) said that Naya was told to pack up her new face and get the fuck out of there.
A source (Hi, Lea!) says that Naya’s trailer was packed up and she was told she won’t be in the season 5 finale and won’t be in season 6, which is the final season, at all. Their source (Hi again, Lea!) said that Lea had nothing to do with Naya getting pink slipped and it was the producers’ decision. Kristin at E! also said that Naya won’t be in the season 5 finale, but she wasn’t fired and no decision has been made about Naya being in the final season. A “show insider” told Kristin that Naya was supposed to be in the season 5 finale, but she was written out of the script and the change has nothing to do with Lea. The “show insider” also said this:
“We love Naya and want only the best for her. Hopefully we can work it out. We all needed a moment. [This break is] best for everyone.”
The inside source went on to say, “And if Naya doesn’t come back, we always have Lea. Lea’s beauty and talent can carry the rest of the season and can carry the final season. In fact, if every cast member but Lea left the show, the show would be better because of it. Lea is Glee and we should really just change the title to Glea. And..and…and OH GOD, Lea, please don’t threaten to sing another Barbra Streisand song into my ear. I said what you told me to say! Please! MERCY!”
Glee’s current ratings are at an all-time low, but they’ll raise higher than what Lea Michele thinks of herself if they turned the cameras around and gave us the backstage fuckery that’s supposedly going down. Over the past couple of months, Blind Gossip has had several blind items about how Lea Michele and Chris Colfer are in cahoots and have been working together to push Naya Rivera and Darren Criss off of the show. There’s been more backstabbing and diva theatrics than what happens backstage at the Queen of Scientology pageant (you know what I’m talking about, Tommy Girl and Travolta!). TMZ says that on Tuesday, the drama between Barbra Streisand’s second Wednesday matinee standby and Kim Kardashian’s klone got so bad that one of them was kicked off of the set.
Team Naya claims that Lea held up production when she stepped away from the set to deal with personal crap. After the cast and crew waited around for a while, Naya went to the producers to bitch to them that Lea is a lit matchstick shoved up everyone’s asshole. They’re all over her shit. Lea heard about Naya’s talk with the producers and dramatically exited stage left and never came back to the set.
But Team Lea has a different story. They say that Lea and Naya weren’t even shooting scenes together and she didn’t know that Kim Kartrashian’s badly-made wax figure complained about her. Team Lea says that Naya was kicked off of the set. The source also claims that Naya was fired. Team Naya denies she was given BYE BITCH walking papers.
To add another layer of ESCANDALO to this mess, Blind Gossip posted a blind item on Tuesday about a TV actress who broke up with her musician boyfriend after she read text messages on his phone between him and one of her co-stars whom he allegedly screwed on the side.
This pretty television Actress and her musical Fiancee recently broke up. Lots of rumors and public accusations flying back and forth: Controlling! Flirtatious! Insecure! Jealous! Cheater! Thief!
While both sides are spinning publicly, we know that there are two facts that both sides privately acknowledge as being true.
The first is that she broke up with him. Yes, we know he said that he is the one who called off the wedding, but that’s not true. She ended it.
The second is why she ended it. He cheated on her. Our Actress found a series of text messages on The Fiancee’s phone from a woman with whom he had hooked up on multiple occasions. It wasn’t the first time she caught him cheating, but it was with whom he was cheating that was the final straw.
Of course there was a huge fight. She yelled at him for being a liar and a cheat. He yelled right back that he did it because he was tired of her flirting with other guys. He also told Our Actress that she could have a hundred plastic surgeries but she was never going to be as hot as his famous colleague’s celebrity Significant Other (who is The Fiancee’s idea of physical perfection). Ouch.
You know the rest. Couples therapy, breakup, accusations, spin.
This is obviously about Naya and Big Sean. Most of the blind item aficionados at Blind Gossip think the side piece costar is Lea Michele, but I’m not sure. If Lea was taking a ride on Big Sean’s fat moray eel dick, I think we’d all know it. Because we’d see pictures of Lea dragging the organs that fell out of her vag from Big Sean fucking her. So I’m guessing the home wrecking side piece slut is either Unique, Demi Lovato or Lord Tubbington. It was obviously Lord Tubbington.
Look at that slut with his legs wide. He’s practically bragging about it.
At the party for Glee’s 100th episode in West Hollywood last night, TVLine asked JLo Kardashian (born name: Naya Rivera) about the rumors that she’s getting dropped from the show. The rumor started when Lea Michele said that the rest of season 5 mostly focuses on the hos in New York and she named off everyone but Naya. Naya said that it was a “Freudian slip or maybe not” on Lea Michele’s part (shaaaaade) and then she went on to say:
“People just take things, little things, and blow them up.”
That answer can also be the answer to my question, which is, “Girl, did you get bigger Tupperware cake covers installed in your chest?”
Naya posted a picture on Instagram yesterday of her at the beach with her fiancé Big Sean (looking like Freddy Krueger as a referee), and either her tits got swole from a severe allergic reaction to her dude’s fugged-up ensemble or she got her tits Stoddenized. It’s obviously the latter and all Naya needs to do is fill her ass cheeks with 10 cans of Fix-A-Flat and she’ll be warmly welcomed into the Glad family of products and can also get work as Kim Kardashian’s Instagram body double. Speaking of messy Instagram pages, if you haven’t visited Naya’s recently, you should. Her Instagram looks like the portfolio of an artist who uses candle pillars to make figurines of Nicki Minaj, Kim Kardashian, JLo and Sophia Lamar.
Here’s pictures of JLo Kardashian, Lea Michele, Jane Lynch, Trouty Mouth and the other Glee tricks at the 100th episode party last night.