The Observer made every serious world-renowned journalist ooze thick globs of jealousy from every one of their pores when they landed an interview with the goddess herself, Dame Joan Collins. The Observer sent Sophie Heawood to Joan Collins’ luxurious Beverly Hills palace in the sky to do a long profile on the BIGGEST STAR IN THE WORLD!!! You can read the entire thing here, but of course, the thing that caused me to throw my fly swatter in the trash was Dame Joan saying that she believes her dead sister Jackie Collins, the BIGGEST AND GREATEST LITERARY GENIUS IN THE WORLD FOREVER AND ALWAYS, has been reincarnated as a fly that follows her around the world. And yes, that is a real picture of the opulent fly who Joan believes is Jackie Collins.
I saw a dude at CVS the other day buying three copies of the same issue of Soap Opera Digest, so I figured print media was having a strident comeback. Alas, that does not seem to be the case. Glamour, one of the women’s magazines at Condé Nast not totally terrorized by Anna Wintour, has been coming out with a print edition each month for close to 80 years. That will all come to a screeching halt after the January edition rolls out next week.
Selena Gomez Needs To Keep This Bootleg Farrah Fawcett Wig Because She Has Never Looked As Glamorous
It’s as if Jessica Alba and Theodore Seville made a baby with stage 2 Kylie Jenner lips who went on to become the forest’s #1 Farrah Fawcett impersonator and that is the greatest compliment you can give anyone.
Selena Gomez released the video for the song that I actually like, Bad Liar (we all know I have shit taste), and it’s a riveting elementary school production of an unauthorized Wonder Years episode with plot twists, bad wigs and the greatest performance from a child since North West acted like she knew who Kanye West was on an episode of Keeping Up the Kartrashians. Selena proves that she’s Nick Jr.’s answer to Meryl Streep, because she can play any role. A fetus-aged Winnie Cooper? Selena can do it! A sleazy principal in a pornstache (who looks more like a 4-year-old boy in costume as a lazy Ned Flanders)? Selena can do it! A gym teacher in an off-brand Laurie Forman from That ’70s Show wig? Selena can do it! A scorned mom in plastic tarantula eyelashes? Selena can do it! Selena can do it all!
There’s article after article on the internet that claims Theresa Caputo, The Long Con Medium, I mean, The Long Island Medium is a shameless charlatan who is carrying on the late Sylvia Browne’s legacy by taking advantage of vulnerable and grieving sadlings. The Long Island Medium now has news for the non-believers. Science has proven that she has a gift, and no, that gift isn’t conning people while pretending to speak to the ghost of their loved one (aka her assistant spouting out info they found through Google while wearing a white sheet over their body).
Beyonce And The Dixie Chicks Performed At The CMAs And I Don’t Think Everyone Lived To Tell The Tale
It was a night of exploding heads last night. Heads exploded during the never-ending final game of the World Series. Heads exploded while watching Diggle get topless on Arrow (and yes, a different kind of head exploded.) And heads exploded when the Dixie Chicks and Beyonce shared the stage at the Country Music Awards in Nashville. My thoughts are with the ears of the receptionists at ABC who are probably getting hit with a thousand tornados of blood-curdling anger screams from country fans who still hate those unpatriotic traitor trollops the Dixie Commies and who also hate that police-hating non-country ass Beyonce!
Jessica Lange And Susan Sarandon Will “Feud” As Joan Crawford And Bette Davis For A New Ryan Murphy Show
The Ryan Murphy Network (real name: FX) set fire to the b-holes of fans of legendary bitch fights and Old Hollywood scandals today when they announced that they have ordered a new Ryan Murphy anthology series about classic feuds. The first season of the series, titled Feuds, will cover the rivalry between Joan Crawford and Bette Davis while shooting What Ever Happened To Baby Jane? Ryan Murphy’s muse Jessica Lange will play Joan Crawford and Susan Sarandon will play Bette Davis. In the future, every show on television will be a Ryan Murphy anthology series starring Jessica Lange.