People reports that after decades upon decades of hearing about Liam Payne and Cheryl (last name pending. I don’t know if she has one right now) being over, they have announced that their 3-ish year relationship is over.Sigh, it seems like just yesterday she was rebounding onto his One Direction penis (also named One Direction). And Liam had been doing such a good job assuring the press that they were fighting through their problems. Guess it didn’t work out. Who’d of thunk it? Oh yeah, everyone. Continue reading
Former One Direction member Liam Payne twinked a fetus into former Girls Aloud member Cheryl (tn: Cheryl Ann Tweedy Cole Fernandez-Versini) nine months ago, and now that future British pop icon has emerged from the birth canal.
Liam announced on Instagram that Cheryl uncrossed her legs and gave the world a whole slew of upcoming OK! and HELLO! magazine articles on Wednesday of this week. One Direction fans who wanted Liam’s seed for their own wombs (and have also had to deal with another 1D-er spawning fairly recently) must already be suggesting baby names on social media. Although, I’m not sure “CherylColeIsEvilAndImLiamsOneAndOnly” is something you find in a baby naming book.
Although spring is a little ways off, love is in the air! Can’t you feel it? Though your toes are numb, your face frozen and you’re hungover – you read DListed, I know you’re hungover, I don’t need my Detective LaToya brand magnifying glass or fingerprint dusting kit to figure that out, my dear Mr. Watson – you can feel the warmth of true love floating through the air and between the empty boxes of wine. Who do we have to thank for this blast of joy? Cheryl Tweedy Cole Fernandez-Versini and Liam Payne!