It’s Black Friday, where half of us were in line at Kohl’s at 5am and not above pushing an 86-year-old Memaw if it meant landing 2-for-$25 cashmere sweaters. In related news, it appears HGTV’s favorite born again shiplap evangelists Chip and Joanna Gaines might be getting their hands on more cold hard cash. Continue reading
Wonder Woman director Patty Jenkins and Gal Gadot probably spent their Monday morning drinking a crystal champagne flute full of the sparkling tears of the man children who cried and threw tantrum over the women’s only screening in Austin. Because in four days, Wonder Woman has made almost a quarter of a billion dollars worldwide. That number may seem impressive, but I’m shrugging at it. I mean, after seeing the prices for the IMAX 3D showings of Wonder Woman, I can tell you that $250,000 million would cover about 22 tickets and a small thing of popcorn.
I realize that during the Grammys earlier this year is that Beyonce, the queen of our time, placed a spell on all of us in the middle of her Offering to the Goddess performance when she gazed into the camera like “Love Me..Join Tidal… I COMMAND YOU!!” But that shit don’t work on me, because I don’t drink the damn lemonade. I prefer my ice to caress whiskey and honestly, I don’t even need the ice. So go hypnotize someone else, sistah!
Still, the spell worked on a few people (like Adele, who damn near somersaulted on stage to present Queen Bey with her Grammy on a bended knee). And director Jon Favreau is also ready to hand over stacks of cash for her to voice Nala in an upcoming live-action remake of The Lion King.
There it is, the more obvious headline I’ve ever written, because of course Sherri Shepherd’s grifty ex-husband Lamar Sally wants more child support money. That’s like saying a dog wants to sniff more dog butts.
The Year Is 2016 And I’ve Written A Post About Kenny Chesney Being The Second Biggest Money-Maker In Music
It feels like I haven’t written about Kenny Chesney since the Renee Zellweger days when their 6-minute-long marriage ended in “fraud” and he blamed it on his “box” being too full at the time and not being able to handle all of the attention from the media. I don’t know if Kenny’s box is still full, but I do know that his bank accounts are overflowing with dollars the same way your panties are overflowing with twatty leche from looking at that picture of him in that hot sleeveless T.
Seen above looking more natural and charismatic than usual, the Spice Girls are reportedly putting together a big tour to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the release of their first single “Wannabe.” Yes, it’s been 20 years since “Wannabe” came out. Yeah, so when you get your nursing home van service to swing by and pick me up for the show, make sure they leave enough room for my walker. Because I’m going to need something sturdy to hang onto when I shake my replaced hip and drop it as low as my knees can take me when the Spice Girls perform “Holler.” Life Alert better double their staff, because we’re all going to be hitting that button when we’ve twerked and can’t get up at the Spice Girls show.