Mel C (aka “Sporty Spice“) was able to round up most of her fellow Spice Girls to appear in the video for her new track, “Room For Love.” The only holdout was Mel “Scary Spice” B. In her defense, she’s probably hiding from her terrifying psycho douche ex.
The “Girl Power” wasn’t actually resurrected in the same shoot for the video, though. This was one of those “get a bunch of people to record themselves lip-synching the video and cobblie it together for cheap” vids. But Emma “Baby Spice” Bunton, Geri “Ginger Spice” Halliwell, and Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham all pop up. Posh is kind of surprising, seeing as she’s got the most money and has no need to lift an expensively manicured, skeletal finger. But it’s nice of her to help a sister out.
Sadly, it wasn’t over the proper way to give inflection to “Zigg-a-zigg-ahhhh!” Geri Halliwell (or Horner, as she likes to be called these days since she married Red Bull F1 racing team principal Christian Horner) let it be known on Instagram she had a very good weekend. Not only was rubbing elbows with Kit Harington at the Italian Grand Prix, but he had cornered him into giving her elocution lessons on one of the most memorable lines from Game Of Thrones.
The Daily Mail says Kit tried to cajole a Northern accent out of the London-raised Ginger, but she was having difficulty. No shit. Did Kit get his Spice Girls mixed up? Because that’s Scary Spice’s wheelhouse.
Ginger has come a long way when it comes to man handling. It seems like it wasn’t THAT long ago when she was popping out of a pair of legs at the Brits to croon “Bag It Up“ and give me all the gay camp feels when my dad would have preferred I pretend I enjoyed playing basketball like all the other kids who lived on our block. Now she’s married with two kids and running lines with Jon Snow!!! Speaking of, just when she seemed to nail the line, she had to go and fuck it up again. Don’t give up, Geri! There could be a part waiting for you next season. You’ll surely do better than the last ginger pop star they brought ’round Westeros!
January 21st was Baby Spice’s birthday, and it was also the day that Ginger Spice gave birth to her second child, a son she made with her husband Christian Horner. Since Ginger birthed out a baby on Baby’s birthday, she should’ve paid tribute to Emma Bunton by naming her son Blond Pigtails Horner or Platform Sneakers Horner. But instead, Ginger and Christian got all Shakespearean with their kid’s name.
Seen above looking more natural and charismatic than usual, the Spice Girls are reportedly putting together a big tour to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the release of their first single “Wannabe.” Yes, it’s been 20 years since “Wannabe” came out. Yeah, so when you get your nursing home van service to swing by and pick me up for the show, make sure they leave enough room for my walker. Because I’m going to need something sturdy to hang onto when I shake my replaced hip and drop it as low as my knees can take me when the Spice Girls perform “Holler.” Life Alert better double their staff, because we’re all going to be hitting that button when we’ve twerked and can’t get up at the Spice Girls show.
Because some of them have bills to pay, the Spice Girls are reportedly in talks to do another reunion tour next year. Posh Beckham has apparently dropped a dry queef on an offer to join the other Spice Girls on tour, because she is the Olsen twins of the group and is way too busy running her fashion empire to lip-synch and point for a quick check.
The Sun (via The Guardian) was the first to report that the Spice Girls are going to get together again to celebrate the 20th anniversary of “Wannabe” next year. They plan to travel the world and Posh may join them on a few dates. Baby Spice did an interview this morning on the Heart London radio show and she only said that nothing’s happening right now, but if anything solid comes together, she’ll let everyone know. But after that interview, Baby Spice stuck the tip into the b-holes of Spice Girls fans by re-tweeting a tweet from a Sun columnist who claims that an “official announcement” is coming later this year. Baby also had this moment with Sporty Spice:
Do I need to put my pigtails in?!?!? https://t.co/TfWZQL9ux2
— Emma Bunton (@EmmaBunton) August 7, 2015
I didn’t get to see the Spice Girls’ last reunion tour in 2008, because by the time I got around to looking for tickets, the only seats available were in the damn clouds and I didn’t want to spend my night guzzling down overpriced beer while looking at the screen and dodging planes flying by. I did that shit for free when the show ended up on YouTube later. But as for this tour, I don’t know. What are the Spice Girls without Posh standing there doing absolutely nothing while the rest of them jump around and shit? If they reunite and do go on tour, they should say that Posh is joining them. They should tie a little Gucci dress around a mic stand, throw a brown wig on top and call it Posh. Nobody would ever know the difference and their show would probably be the most riveting concert experience of my life!
And here’s Posh at LAX the other day wearing I don’t even know.
Hot British ball-wrangling DILF David Beckham turned 40 years old this weekend, and decided to celebrate by throwing a huge-ass party in Marrakech, Morocco. A party in Morocco? Sounds like someone’s too good for dinner at the Olive Garden followed by a solitary box of wine in bed, aka how I plan on ringing in my 40th. Not surprisingly, David’s birthday party was full of famous types. But the most important famous types on his guest list were THE SPICE GIRLS!!! Excuse me while 13-year-old me gets very jealous of David Beckham.
Posh Spice Instagrammed a couple pics of four-fifths of the Spice Girls reuniting at David’s party. For those of you wondering why Scary Spice looks a lot like Gabrielle Solis from Desperate Housewives, that’s actually Eva Longoria filling in as Tiny Spice. For some reason, Scary Spice wasn’t there; my not-so-secret hope is that she was too busy dumping her shady scumbag husband’s things on the front lawn and changing the locks to make it.
Regardless, 4 out of 5 ain’t bad. I especially love that Posh is giving classic Posh face, Sporty and Baby are serving up that backup realness, while Ginger Spice is working “Just casually reaching for my phone and angling my legs so I can make a break for it.” Although I don’t know why she’d want to. David had four birthday cakes at his party!
Awww, that’s pretty cute – each one came from one of his kids. Never have I wanted to have a dozen children so badly in all my life.
Here’s more of the Spice Girls meet-up at David Beckham’s birthday party over the weekend, including a shot of Posh helping David blow out his candles (or is she using him as a human shield from all that cake? I’m not sure).
Pics: Instagram, Daily Mail