Yes, many people still pay good money to see George Lopez do comedy in 2017, but one of those people probably asked for her money back after he showered her with approximately 346 fucks. If you’ve ever wanted to see George Lopez explode into an angry geyser of fucks, simply flip him off. That’s all it takes!
iPhone, meet your new wallpaper. If you put an empty Corona bottle in his hand and replaced that ugly ass casino carpet with dead grass, that would be my uncle at the end of every family gathering. Shit, that’s me at the end of every gathering.
Coochies got wet and laughs came flying out of mouths at Caesars Windsor in Windsor, Ontario, Canada last night when George Lopez’s drunk, juicy, bloated gut hung out as he took a little sweet nectar-induced nap on the floor. That picture is the reason why I’m choking on cackles today. CTV News says that police put George in handcuffs at 10:49pm for being messy and drunk in public. TMZ says that George wasn’t charged with anything, but he was thrown in the drunk tank to dry out. George performed at Caesars right before he did the funniest thing he’s ever done and he’s supposed to perform again there tonight.
Somewhere, George Lopez’s scorned ex-wife and her one kidney are laughing and laughing at the sight of her hooker-fucking piece of trash ex-husband being down and out in Windsor. And this goes without saying, but about this time tomorrow TMZ will report that Carlos Mencia was arrested for public intoxication after drunkenly passing out on the floor of Caesars Windsor. The Windsor PD should go ahead and leave a space empty in the drunk tank for Carlos.
Anne Hathaway is the next Catwoman and this ho showed up to an event for her new movie Rio dressed like a damn cat toy. The top part of Anne’s outfit says “9-year-old know-it-all circa 1987” and the bottom part says “mariachi clown.” Just no. The only way this outfit would work outside of a little girl’s slumber party is if it was dyed pink and put on the body of Charo. That’s it. However, I will say that I like Anne’s necklace. It looks like all the things you’d find inside of Tommy Girl’s favorite fuck toy drawer. Butt beads, travel-sized dildos, etc…. Yup, the necklace can stay!
Here’s more of Anne wearing the finest clothes from Gymboree’s black label collection with George Lopez and Jamie Foxx (whose hairline is almost as well manicured as Norwood Young’s).
At last night’s Teen Choice Awards (aka the only awards show Roman Polanski Tivos), Sandra Bullock and the queen of the world Betty White performed a G-rated version of Jennifer Connelly’s ass to ass scene from Requiem for a Dream for all the chirruns in the audience. No, but that’s immediately where my gutter brain went when I first saw this picture. Sandra and Betty bumped nalgas on stage after winning some stupid award for Best Dance.
I bet Betty doesn’t even know what she won for. Betty gets an award for burping in the morning, so she just threw that stupid surfboard shit into the warehouse with her other accolades and went back to sitting on her throne.
You know who else was there last night? Not drinking during the daytime is doing wonders for Snooki, because bitch looked all kinds of beautiful last night: