Sorry, I should clarify: a whole lot of women and a couple dudes. For some reason, the men of Hollywood aren’t exactly rushing to pipe up with their thoughts about the recent dump of sexual harassment allegations against Harvey Weinstein. Which I’m sure is just because they dropped their cellphones in the toilet and have no current means of communication, and not because they had been benefiting from doing business with the alleged creepy shower enthusiast. But for now, we’ve got the thoughts from plenty of actresses and a couple actors, including George Clooney.
It’s mirrored shitting! It would be easy to take a dump on George Clooney’s “man of the people” claim considering he gets to boink one of the world’s top humanitarian lawyers in a palatial Lake Como estate while he awaits that up to $1 billion Casamigos payment to get divvied up. But you shouldn’t! The Daily Beast landed an interview with Ocean sans the 11, and he’s here to tell Donald Trump and his cronies to back the F up on telling “coastal elites” to shut up. They’re the elite ones! Continue reading
Ok, so call me crazy, but I’ve never viewed George Clooney as THE leading man in Hollywood. More, like, the sly dude in the corner with Rande Gerber (both wearing matching black button-downs with three undone and well-brushed chest hair in plain sight) raising glasses of tequila at the likes of Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, and Ben Affleck because they can buy and sell them all with that Casamigos coin.
Pilot Inspektor would like a word with you, George Clooney.
George is pushing that Suburbicon flick he directed alongside its star Matt Damon. They sat down with Entertainment Tonight, and George talked about the twins he had with his statuesque global superstar lawyer wife Amal Clooney in June. Clooney explained that they named the twins Alexander and Ella because Jermajesty and Phyllon Gor were already taken. No, it’s because he didn’t want his future put-upon celebrity children to have to deal with the burden of “dumb names.” Ode Mountain, you have every right to be offended after reading this.
I imagine that George Clooney has to put up with people asking stupid questions during a press tour. In exchange for plugging his own projects, he must in turn indulge the media and endure a barrage of questions like “Hey George, do you like toast?” or “Hey George, which shoe do you put on first?” or “Hey George, what does Brad smell like?”
George directed a movie called Suburbicon which comes out in October, so now he has to answer a whole lot of questions about his twins, wife Amal Clooney, and fatherhood. Tit for tat, Georgie boy! Will you deliver the titillating truth bombs or will it be numbingly boring platitudes and bullshit? Remember, your movie’s box office depends on this!
Those of us who are non-mathletes are always asking – “why math?” Sure, science, making change in your head and like, bingo, all require math. But cosine and “x equals 3,” and other nonsense just confuse the vacuous and take up the valuable time that schoolchildren could be spending on Snapchat! Well, someone has finally demonstrated that math has a purpose. It’s for figuring out who’s hottest in the face!