Ok, so call me crazy, but I’ve never viewed George Clooney as THE leading man in Hollywood. More, like, the sly dude in the corner with Rande Gerber (both wearing matching black button-downs with three undone and well-brushed chest hair in plain sight) raising glasses of tequila at the likes of Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, and Ben Affleck because they can buy and sell them all with that Casamigos coin.
Pilot Inspektor would like a word with you, George Clooney.
George is pushing that Suburbicon flick he directed alongside its star Matt Damon. They sat down with Entertainment Tonight, and George talked about the twins he had with his statuesque global superstar lawyer wife Amal Clooney in June. Clooney explained that they named the twins Alexander and Ella because Jermajesty and Phyllon Gor were already taken. No, it’s because he didn’t want his future put-upon celebrity children to have to deal with the burden of “dumb names.” Ode Mountain, you have every right to be offended after reading this.
I imagine that George Clooney has to put up with people asking stupid questions during a press tour. In exchange for plugging his own projects, he must in turn indulge the media and endure a barrage of questions like “Hey George, do you like toast?” or “Hey George, which shoe do you put on first?” or “Hey George, what does Brad smell like?”
George directed a movie called Suburbicon which comes out in October, so now he has to answer a whole lot of questions about his twins, wife Amal Clooney, and fatherhood. Tit for tat, Georgie boy! Will you deliver the titillating truth bombs or will it be numbingly boring platitudes and bullshit? Remember, your movie’s box office depends on this!
Those of us who are non-mathletes are always asking – “why math?” Sure, science, making change in your head and like, bingo, all require math. But cosine and “x equals 3,” and other nonsense just confuse the vacuous and take up the valuable time that schoolchildren could be spending on Snapchat! Well, someone has finally demonstrated that math has a purpose. It’s for figuring out who’s hottest in the face!
George and Amal Clooney’s twin babies, Ella and Alexander, are just shy of two months old. And until this morning, no one outside of George, Amal, family, friends, and their part-time nannies have seen what Ella and Alexander look like. I could imagine what they looked like: small unbreaded chicken nuggets, maybe. Then a French tabloid called Voici went ahead and solved the mystery by publishing the first blurry shots of the Clooney babies on the cover of their latest issue. George and Amal are extremely pissed about that.
George Clooney, his best friend Rande Gerber and real estate mogul Michael Meldman must like tequila so much that a few years ago they decided to make their own brand called Casamigos. Now, George, Rande and Michael are rich people, so they didn’t make their homemade booze in the basement next to a rolling clothes rack full of winter coats like normal people They had a full-on operation down in Mexico, and eventually it got big enough to sell for $1 billion.