Category: George Clooney

Amal Clooney Hasn’t Been Seen In A While, And Some Think It’s Because She’s Hiding A Pregnancy

January 5, 2017 / Posted by:

Ever since George Clooney surprised the world by getting married again, it feels like there have been plenty of “reports” and “sources” claiming that Amal Clooney is either pregnant or trying to get pregnant or looking at babies . Well, the rumor might finally be true, because some people are saying that Amal is carrying George’s spawn.

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Johnny Depp Is Hollywood’s Most Overpaid Actor

December 7, 2016 / Posted by:

The shady paycheck-analyzing bitches at Forbes have released their annual “Actors with too many undeserved dollars in their wallet” list (aka Hollywood’s Most Overpaid Actors of 2016). For the second year in a row, Johnny Depp has topped the list.

Forbes figured out the most overpaid actors like this:

Our rundown of Hollywood’s Most Overpaid Actors looked at the last three films each actor starred in before June 2016, save animated films, movies where the actor appeared in an insignificant role, or movies that were released on fewer than 2,000 screens.We then deducted the estimated production budget from the global box office for each film according to Box Office Mojo to come up with a limited definition of each movie’s operating income. We took the total operating income from the star’s three most recent significant films then divided by the star’s estimated pay for those films to come up with a final return on investment number.

Math isn’t my strongest brain function, so I’m taking Forbes’ word for it.

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Open Post: Hosted By The Bassett Hound Who’s Embarrassed By Her Human’s Outfit

October 21, 2016 / Posted by:

Woe is Millie Clooney. The one day her humans decided to trot her out in front of the paps is the one day Amal Clooney decides to dress up like a rejected That ’70s Show extra. Millie Clooney is making the face that every little kid makes when they’re hanging out with their friends in front of the school and their mom pulls up in a dirty, bird-shit covered car with curlers in her hair and blasting some busted song. They think to themselves, “I hope she doesn’t see me, I hope she doesn’t see me, I hope she does- Oh shit, she just screamed my name.”

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Yes, I know that Bassett Hounds just naturally make that face, but I’d like to believe that Millie is extra embarrassed by Amal looking like she’s about to break out into I Think I Love You at any second.

George Clooney is currently directing Suburbicon in Los Angeles, and yesterday, Amal visited the set with their newest dog child Millie Clooney. This is probably going to be the last time that Amal Clooney brings Millie around the paps, because Millie easily stole the show and used her eyes to throw hate at those ugly jeans.

And really, Millie is living the life. She gets all the free tequila she wants and she doesn’t have to strain her legs by walking up stairs since she’s got a human slave named George Clooney to carry her up. I need Millie Clooney to teach me her ways.

Pics: Wenn.com

George Clooney And Rande Gerber Will Be Neighbors Again

October 12, 2016 / Posted by:

George Clooney and his BFF Rande Gerber are the kind of best friends that make tequila together and live right next door to each other in Mexico. Sadly, they recently sold their twin villas in Cabo, which means George and Rande have to pack up their private telephone line, aka the tin cans attached to 30ft of string that Amal Clooney was nice enough to help them make. The good news is they’ll have a new place for them. Page Six says that both George and Rande recently purchased fancy condos in the same building in NYC.

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Brad Pitt May Fight St. Angie Jolie For Joint Physical Custody Of The Child Army

September 20, 2016 / Posted by:

Brangelina may be over, but at least we’ll always have these wax figures of her looking like a brown-headed fun house mirror Mena Suvari and him looking like Willie Nelson after falling asleep in the sun with Crisco on his face.

TMZ posted the divorce papers that Angelina Jolie filed yesterday, and I had to double check to make sure she really put “irreconcilable differences” as the reason for why her marriage is done and not “By The Sea.” St. Angie also said in the documents that she wants to share legal custody of the child army, but she wants sole physical custody with Brad Pitt getting visitation rights. St. Angie reportedly wants sole custody, because Brad is an angry stoner drunk and she thinks he’s a danger to their 6 kids. Team Brad is fighting back and shitting on those claims. Brad may ask for joint physical custody, which means that shit could get messier than the back of his chonies when he lets out a Taco Bell-infused stoner shart.

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“I Quit This Bitch!”: People Magazine Disgruntled Reporter Edition

July 3, 2016 / Posted by:

This particular People cover doesn’t have anything to do with this post. I just want to know Kimmy Gibbler’s secrets now.

Following in the legendary footsteps of Arnetta the Moodsetta and the safety slide-utilizing Jet Blue flight attendant, People magazine reporter Sara Hammel quit her gig by spilling the tea on the magazine (and a couple of celebrities) in an e-mail blast on Monday.

Hammel’s resignation snatched at the wigs belonging to George Clooney, Jennifer Lopez and an unnamed Hollywood A-Lister who was such a perv to her that she wanted to stab him in the balls with her reportin’ pen. She also noted that Lt. Olivia Benson (the celebrity not the cat) rivals Claire Danes when it comes to the ugly-cry.

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