Category: Geoffrey Edelsten

Love Doesn’t Live On This Planet Anymore: Geoffrey Edelsten Is Divorcing His Latest Gold-Digging Wife

October 7, 2015 / Posted by:

Quick recap time!

Geoffrey Edelsten is a 72-year-old Australian medical entrepreneur/tabloid mess who is mostly known to me for his impeccable taste for graceful American gold digging blossoms such as his second wife, the eternal earth angel Brynne Edelsten. Geoffrey has truly mastered the art of picking out the finest of gold diggers.

Gabi Grecko is Geoffrey’s 26-year-old third wife who is a former HSOTD, a DJ/fashion designer from Miami and is one of my current fashion icons because she always looks like she just placed first in a bad drag contest. Gabi announced in June that Geoffrey busted a load of jizz dust up in her and she got knocked up. Well, Gabi will soon be inducted into the Ex-Wives Of Geoffrey Edelsten Club, because they’re getting divorced. And their marriage isn’t going down without a scandal.

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Gold Diggers Rejoice! Gabi Grecko Is Knocked Up!

June 15, 2015 / Posted by:

If the name Gabi Grecko means about as much to you as the name “Kim” means to North West, then you’re obviously not a connoisseur of delicate gold digging blossoms.

Gabi Grecko (who is giving me Leeloo as a Hooters waitress in that picture) is a 26-year-old Florida petunia who became one of my gold digging idols when she got with 72-year-old Australian medical mogul Geoffrey Edelsten and caused an ESCANDALO when she showed up to a funeral done up like a mobster’s hooker mistress circa 1986. Well, the always attention shy Gabi, who is usually allergic to the spotlight, is back in the news in Australia after she and her sugar pepaw got married and announced that she’s got an adorable little blank check growing in her womb. But some people are throwing looks of skepticism at her pregnancy news.

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Open Post: Hosted By Australian Entrepreneur Geoffrey Edelsten And His Stunningly Demure Fiancée

November 4, 2014 / Posted by:

Anybody who regularly reads this mess of a blog knows that 71-year-old bankrupt businessman Geoffrey Edelsten is an expert whorticulturist whose greatest skill in life is plucking and marrying the most delicate and genteel roses from the American section of the gold digger garden. My popped black balloon of a soul deflated all the way earlier this year when he and his gorgeous former HSOTD wife Brynne Edelsten broke up. But my soul filled up again when a few seconds later he found love with 25-year-old American model/performance artiste Gabi Grecko.

Even though Geoffrey is supposedly broke now (“Uh huh” said a banker in the Caymans), he and Gabi are still together and yesterday they showed up to the Melbourne Cup looking like this. I don’t know if Australia has Daylight Savings Time (and as always, I’m too lazy to Google or ask a friend), but if they do, then Geoffrey and Gabi must’ve gotten confused and set their clocks back a few days. Because messes obviously thought it was Halloween. Geoffrey looks like a Dick Tracy villain who goes by the name The Pissah and Gabi looks like an abandoned circus fairground that’s now home to a bunch of wild turkeys on meth. Those glitter brows are doing things to me, but other than that, trick needs less American Horror Story: Freak Show in her life.

Since Geoffrey Edelsten is not one to miss out on an opportunity to get as much attention as possible, he proposed to Gabi with a heart-shaped diamond ring during the Melbourne Cup yesterday. The image of true love is a 71-year-old disgraced businessman proposing to his 25-year-old girlfriend of a few months at a public event while he looks like a fancy piss stain and she looks like Clown Hawk Stripper Girl, Marvel’s least popular superhero who only works when one of the Avengers gets sick and none of their standbys are available. She’s the last superhero on the Avengers on-call list.

But whatever, like these two give a shit what I think about their messy outfits. They are in love, engaged and will be together forever or until Gabi finds out that Geoffrey’s really broke and has to pawn off that ring to buy a ticket back to the US.

There’s more pictures of these two lovebirds below and I also threw in pictures of Basement Baby looking like she’s wearing a maternity business suit made out of bathroom tile.

Pics: Splash

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