Fergie Ferg celebrates motherhood by dousing her lady humps, bumps, lumps, dumps, what have you (“chumps” comes to mind when Kim Kardashian’s hot air balloon disaster ass wobbles up) in milk in her new “MILF$” video. It’s a pervy celebration of mommy complexes, Mary Kay Letourneau-esque classroom fap fantasies, and lactation. Yum!
According to the opening shot, “MILF” in this case stands for “Mothers I’d Like To Follow,” so expect something innocent and demure. That’s dumb. She shrieks out “motherfucker” at least three times during the course of this faux cum fiesta. Why the backpedaling?
In addition to Kummy Kakes, celebrity moms assisting Fergie in her effort to turn the world off of dairy forever are Chrissy Teigen, Ciara, Alessandra Ambrosio, Devon Aoki, Gemma Ward, Angela Lindvall, Amber Valletta, Tara Lynn, Natasha Poly, and Isabeli Fontana.
The only one I fully support in this video is Amber Valleta because she was the recipient of one of the better television hell diva flip-offs in recent history when Madeline Stowe’s Victoria read her character’s sidepiece ass on Revenge.
She must have emerged from that feeling shiny and brand-new. Like an acid bath makeover! “Every time I hug you is my hatred burning through.” Gather her, Victoria Grayson!
Fergie should have given this messy video some class by having Victoria’s Grayson’s dead-eyed resentful ass “sexy” yoga mom-ing it alongside these other chicks.
Check out the video (and some screencaps of Fergie and friends) in the gallery below.