Night At The Museum: The Carter-Knowles Edition

If you woke up feeling broke, bitter and hungover like me, the Carter-Knowles are here to rub salt in your wound and point out that you are an imperfect poor ass who could never shut the Louvre down for a day so that you could ask the Venus De Milo to hold your purse and snap a few phone pics of you and your lovely family and then laugh because it’s funny because she has no arms. If you woke up feeling Awesome McWinnerson on top of the world, the Carter-Knowles are here to knock your ass off that high horse and point out that you’re an imperfect broke ass fighting the Louvre crowd basic bitch. At least they don’t play favorites, right?

So here are pictures that Beyonce posted of her perfect family day on Wednesday with Jay Z and Blue Ivy. You may want to put on your RayBans and some SPF 500 before you click, lest you get third degree burns on your eyeballs and everywhere else from gazing upon the white hot perfection of Illuminati Delacroix, Mona Lisa likes to take two fingers, Watch And Learn Psyche and Amore, and Marilyn Monblue Ivy. It’s like staring directly at the sun or masturbating: too much and you’ll go blind (GOOD – you). You can browse the gallery below or you can go to beyonce.com to see MY LIFE flashing over all the photos. YES WE KNOW, and thanks alot for ruining my monitor when I wrote FUCK over the MY LIFE with a Sharpie.

You know the real reason they shut down the Louvre is so the plebes wouldn’t see the Night At The Museum scene when all the paintings and statues came to life to fantard all over and photobomb the Bay-Jays. You might think that the Carters were taking pictures of themselves with the world famous artwork, but it was actually the other way around. And now you know why the Mona Lisa’s tits are autographed…it’s not graffiti, Mona begged them to do it and now refuses to ever bathe again.

Pics: Beyonce