Category: French Montana
Diddy Celebrated His 51st Birthday With A Turks & Caicos Island Bash
Diddy must have seen Kim Kardashian West‘s million-dollar birthday trip getting her and her family a bunch of negative attention for their continuous and blatant disregard for their privilege and thought to himself, “I can do that so much better!” Page Six says that Diddy also celebrated his birthday during a pandemic. And like Kim, Diddy got all his friends on planes and got as far away from the plebs of human society as possible to party it up on an island. I hope you’re not tired of rich people telling us to go fuck ourselves!
French Montana Is Finally Out Of The Hospital
Because of reasons I’d rather not say (the reason is TikTok), I’ve been listening to French Montana’s “Wiggle It” on repeat. During one of my recent “Wiggle It” binges, I wondered if French Montana is still in the hospital? Because it had been a whole two weeks since he was rushed to the emergency room with nausea, stomach pain, and heart issues. Well, French has finally been released from his hospital bed, but he’s still not fully healed up. Continue reading
French Montana Was Taken To The Hospital For Heart Issues
TMZ reports that French Montana has been hospitalized in Los Angeles for a myriad of scary reasons, including cardiac issues, severe pain, and mysterious nausea. And apparently, he was only taken to the hospital because police thought he was acting weird. What were the police doing at his house? Dealing with a possible home robbery. It really isn’t French’s week.
Why The Cherubs Cry Today: Iggy Azalea And French Montana Probably Broke Up
Real love IS a trick risking his life by putting his head on Iggy Azalea’s DuPont factory of an ass. Because if she blew out a fart onto his face, he would’ve died of toxic plastic fume inhalation a few seconds later.
French Montana, rapper-type and survivor of the Kartrashian Man Kurse, and Iggy Azalea, alleged rapper turned (insert the name of whatever the hell she does now), got together last August. During Friggy’s reign as the definition of true love’s favorite couple, he went to Jared seven times for her and they partook in some couples animal cruelty by posing with a poor circus elephant at his birthday party. Since both French and Iggy are certified attention whores, I figured that they would eventually get married in a televised wedding on the season finale of their E! reality show. But sadly, it looks like their love has died like that poor elephant’s sense of dignity when it was forced to perform for those two dildo dingles.
French Montana Isn’t Sorry About Having An Elephant Perform Tricks For His Birthday
It’s been a bad year for exotic animals being forced to interact with famous douchebags. Back in May, a tiger was the guest of honor at an engagement party for Justin Bieber’s daddy. Then on Tuesday, French Montana celebrated his birthday by making an elephant do tricks on his driveway. I don’t know what is making me more sad: that that elephant was forced to perform for a former Kardashian boyfriend, or how close it came to catching a glimpse of his flaccid business popping out of his bathrobe.
Iggy Azalea Is Dating French Montana Now
Two months after she finally decided she was officially done inspecting the crotch of Nick Young’s gymshorts for traces of away game strange, Iggy Azalea has found love. Or at least found someone willing to take her on an expensive makeout-filled vacation to Mexico.